Right Here Waiting
by khalsey23
Summary: Meredith and Derek had a summer fling, and they never forgot each other, fifteen years later they are thrown together when Meredith moves to Los Angeles. Someone has a secret to tell.Also contain McStizzie and Lexzie. Rated M for sex
1. Right Here Waiting Lyrics

**Right Here Waiting**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, or any of it characters or if even the show, all I own to Carol and Ellen.**

**Oceans apart day after day  
And I slowly go insane  
I hear your voice on the line  
But it doesn't stop the pain**

**If I see you next to never  
How can we say forever**

**Wherever you go, whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you**

**I took for granted all the times  
That I thought would last somehow  
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears  
But I can't get near you now**

**Oh can't you see it baby  
You've got me goin crazy**

**Wherever you go, whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you**

**I wonder how we can survive this romance  
But in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance**

**Oh can't you see it baby  
You've got me goin crazy**

**Wherever you go, whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you**

Present Day

Meredith was sat in her office, looking at the box occupying her desk, one little box, that contained the last four years of her life, there was no pictures, nothing personal just her work stuff from her desk, she reached down to the last drawer of her desk which she kept locked, she hadn't opened that draw in almost a year. She was dreading opening that drawer, knowing that all the reminders of that fateful summer was contained in it, it has been almost fifteen years, but she has never forgotten him, or the consequences that occurred afterward. Meredith took a deep breath, and unlocked the drawer, pulling it open. There on top is the only picture she has of them, taken on their last night together, she takes the photo, stares at it, with tears in her eyes, unbeknown to her, the other person in the photo is sat looking at the same photo over 3000 miles away.

Derek was sat in his office, his last client had just left, he was trying to work on script for his new show, trying to forgot the fact it was the anniversary of the last time, he saw her, he attempted to bury his head in work, but it wasn't working, his mind kept wondering back to her, he unlocked his bottom drawer, the one that contain the only photo he had of them. He wanted to forget her, but he knew that was never going to happen. He looked at the photo, his eyes glistening with tears. Derek could feel the tears falling down his face, but he didn't do anything to stop them. Even after all this time he still constantly thought about her. He hoped that she was happy, and knew she was probably married by now, with kids, he tried to ignore the knife going into his heart has he thought that.


	2. Seeing Derek Again

**From this point on, all of these chapters are in flashbacks, they take place fifteen years before. Enjoy!**

**1993**

Meredith Grey was in her bedroom at her mother's home, in Boston, she had just returned from her first year at Dartmouth. She had just turned 19, and she was looking forward to going to her mother's house on the Cape, she was just waiting for Cristina, Izzie and Alex to arrive and pick her up, they had all meet on their pre-med course, and they had become good friends. Cristina did come across has being quite emotionless, and cold, but she wasn't really. She was the first friend that Meredith had made at Dartmouth, and over the year they had become close, Cristina was her person. Izzie was the complete opposite of Cristina, she could be at times a little too happy, Cristina, always called her 'Barbie', which Izzie hated, but Cristina didn't really care. Alex had become like a brother to Meredith, he always looked out for her, they were both a lot alike, Meredith loved tequila and boys, she had had a succession of one night stands, since she broke up with her high school boyfriend Matt, just before she went to Dartmouth. She heard a horn beep outside the house, and could hear Cristina shouting for her to hurry up. She was spending the entire summer out at the Cape, with Cristina and Alex. Izzie was staying for a few weeks than going home for a few before coming back out before going to back to Dartmouth.

As soon as they arrived at the house, Meredith instantly, put her bikini on and told the others she was headed down to the beach, she left them fighting over which bedroom they were going to have, she wanted to enjoy the Cape Cod air, and the ocean. She had missed this for the past 4 years; it had been four years since she had been here, since her father Thatcher had died. She noticed another few people on the beach, but that what she liked about this particular beach that it was only used by the houses that faced onto it, so it was quiet, only used the Grey's, Shepherd's and the Radcliffe's and their friends.

She went straight for the water, wanting to have a swim. She knew these waters so well, she had been coming here for most of her life, and it had been so long, since she had been here. Since her father's death, her mother had thrown herself into her work, not leaving time for any vacations or even her daughter, it was like once her husband died Ellis Grey gave up. Meredith was looking forward to seeing the Shepherd's again, being the last time she saw them was after her father's funeral. When she got out of the water, and walked over to where she laid her towel down, she could feel someone's eyes on her, she grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her, before she turned around, her eyes met blue, she could feel his eyes bore right into her, by just looking at those eyes she knew exactly who it was.

"Derek" she said with a smile.

"Meredith" Derek said pulling her in for a hug, before pulling away. "It's been a long time"

"It has, how are you?"

"Yeah good, and you?" Derek can't help but scan her body with his eyes, she looked gorgeous. Meredith motioned for him to sit down next to her, Meredith couldn't help but noticed how hot Derek was, seeing Derek in just swim shorts, how he has filled out.

When she last saw him, four years ago, he was still skinny, but the past four years had been good to him. They could both feel the sparks between them, they had always more comfortable than they should have around each other, and had always been close when they were together, but this was something new. They were deep in conversion, catching up on the last four years, not realising that they kept moving closer to each together, their fingers lightly touching, feeling the shoot of electricity that happened when they touched. Meredith could hear someone calling her name she knew it was Alex. Derek felt his heart sink thinking that Alex was Meredith's boyfriend. She gave him a small smile, and turned to Alex.

"What it is it Alex?"

"I think you might want to come into the house, Matt decided to turn up"

"Matt"

"I don't know what he wants, he just wants to see you" Meredith just shook her head, gathered her stuff up, she quickly introduce Derek to Alex, she noticed the look in Derek eyes. She said bye to Derek and headed back to the house, he was the one person that she did not want to see, and she hoped that he wouldn't cause her any problems this summer. She told Alex that she would be okay; he left the kitchen, leaving Meredith alone with her ex.

"Matt, what do you want?"

"I thought i would come over a see how you are"

"Well, you can see that i am fine, so you can go now"

"Meredith don't be like that"

"Like what"

"Mer..." Matt said walking closer to her, causing her to back off.

"You don't get to call me Mer, not anymore. Matt, just stop" Mer said, before bumping into someone, it made her jump, she turned around and visibly relax.

"Derek" Mer exclaimed in surprise. "What are doing here?"

"I thought i would come over to see if you were alright"

"Yeah I'm fine, thanks" Mer said, getting lost in his eyes, completely forgetting that Matt was in the room, until Derek looked away from her, and she heard Matt clear his throat. She begged Derek with her eyes, for him to stay, Derek simply smiled, and she felt her knees go weak, by the way he was looking at her, it gave her the strength to turn around and face Matt.

"Matt, i think you should go"

"Meredith, i wanted to see if we could try again"

"Matt, please just go" she asked looking him squarely in the eye, has she felt Derek's arms wraps around her waist, and whispering in her ear, Meredith leaned into him. Meredith felt herself melt into his arms. Matt looked at Derek.

"So, you are Meredith new boyfriend" Derek felt Meredith stiffen just slightly in his arms, he whispered to her.

"Relax" Derek looks at Matt. "Yes i am"

"Good luck your need it with her, just make sure she doesn't cheat on you like she did on me" Matt said quickly walking out of the kitchen and out of the house. Derek put his hand over Meredith mouth to stop her from shouting after him. Once Matt has gone, Derek unwraps his arms from Meredith waist, leaving Meredith instantly feeling cold, she was horrified by what Matt said, knowing full well it wasn't true.

"Derek, what he said wasn't true" she want to reassure him, not sure why but she didn't want him thinking bad of her

"Meredith, it doesn't matter"

"I don't want you..."Meredith trails off when Derek touches her cheek with the back of his hand, and give her a smile.

"You don't want me what" he asks

"To think badly of me" she says quietly, Derek only just hears her.

"I couldn't Mer, never could" Derek lifts her face up so she is looking up at him. "We are having a party on the beach tonight, if you would like to come"

"What about my friends?"

"They are welcome too"

"I don't know Derek it has been a long day"

"I want you there Mer, please" Derek silently pleaded with her.

"Okay"

"Good" Derek said smiling at her, she felt Derek arm around her waist pulling her closer to him, their lips just inches away from each other, their lips almost met, when she heard Cristina called her.

"Meredith" they both pulled away from each other quickly.

"I'll see you tonight, Meredith" Meredith nodded has Derek left the kitchen through the patio door, has Cristina walked into the kitchen.

"Who was that, that had just left" Cristina asked, seeing Derek leave the kitchen. Meredith turned and faced her.

"that was Derek from next door, an old friend of mine, he came over to invite us to their annual start of summer party, they have always have it, at the start of summer" Meredith rambled, not noticing Cristina staring at her, seeing the look on Meredith face.

"Okay then" she said, has Meredith walked out of the kitchen and to her bedroom, deciding to have a shower, before having a lie down before the party tonight.

She had felt something different with Derek, like she was connected to him, and it scared her, they had almost kissed in the kitchen, she was glad that Cristina had interrupted them, she liked him, well more than liked him, but she knew it wouldn't work between the two of them.


	3. Party

**Enjoy!**

She decided not to go to the party tonight, afraid of what would happen if she did, she had never felt one ounce of the feelings that she felt for Derek, for anyone else, and it scared her. These feelings weren't new, she had always felt them and he was her rock after her father's death but she wasn't able to face them then and she wasn't quite ready to face them now. She was ready to hide away for the night, just lay on her bed, reading a magazine, watch a bit of TV; she grabbed her magazine of the side when there was a knock at her bedroom door.

"What?" she groaned.

"Meredith, it's me" Meredith felt her heart stop at the sound of his voice. "Can i come in, please?"

"Give me a minute please" Mer asked, quickly jumping out of the bed, and pulling out a white dress from her wardrobe, and quickly changing, before opening the door to him. She opened the door, and there he stood, looking all sexy in beige shorts and a white button down shirt, he took her breath

away.

"Hey"

"Hey" Mer said, both of them standing awkwardly silent for a moment.

"You look gorgeous Mer, considering you just probably pulled it from your wardrobe" Mer blushed has Derek took a step towards her.

"Can you just give me a little more time Der"

"I can wait a little while longer Mer, it isn't going to kill me" Derek joked with a smile on his face, has Mer headed into her bathroom, while Derek stayed in the doorway. Meredith closed the bathroom door behind her, and looked in the mirror, whispering to herself.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" she grabbed her toothbrush, started brushing her teeth, found some make up in the draw, which she must have left here years ago, before going back out into her bedroom, where she knew he was waiting for her.

"Where are the others, i need to..."

"They have already gone down to the party Mer, has soon has i told them they were gone"

"Why am i not surprised" she giggles.

"You ready Mer"

"Yep, has ready has I'm going to be" Derek places his hand on the small of her back, casing Mer to stop dead in her track, feeling the shot of electricity rush up and down her spine, the same sparks that she had gotten the day before.

Derek felt it too, but is afraid to say anything in case it make her run. As they walk down the beach, Derek takes Meredith hand, leading to the cove, her hand feels so right, with their fingers intertwined, like they fit together like a piece of a puzzle. The first person Meredith sees is Cristina, and can tell that she is already drunk, being that they hadn't that long got here.

"Baby, you made it" she said, with a bottle of tequila in her hand. Meredith looked at Derek and both burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, what has she been drinking"

"She was like this when i came over to yours'" he said smiling, leading her away from Cristina and her friends and over to where his friends were, he introduced her to Addison, Wyatt and Tom.

Mark has usual was nowhere to be found, no doubt chasing some young blonde in a skirt somewhere. He got Meredith a beer and took her over to see his sister Amy and Olivia, the twins, who Meredith had been friends with for years, again she hadn't seen them in four years, she spent some of the night, catching up with Amy and Olivia, fully aware like everyone else at the party, that Derek hadn't taken his eyes off her all night, she could hear some girls whispering, what was so interesting about her, others speculating that Derek was only interested because she is Ellis Grey's daughter, they all know that Derek is off to medical school in the fall. Meredith can feel herself tear up, thinking that he is only interested in her because of who her mother is. She didn't want to be that girl, the girl who got upset over some guy, some guy that was an ass. She said goodbye to Amy and Olivia and headed over to her friends to tell them that she was heading home, she left her friends there and walked back toward her house, she could hear him calling her over and over again, but she tried to ignore him, she was almost to her house, when he grabbed her arm.

Derek was standing talking to Addison, Wyatt and Tom was off with some girls that they had found, Derek had plenty of girls coming up to him, most with very corny and really bad chat up lines, but he wasn't interesting in any of them, there was only one girl that he was interesting in, and that was the girl talking and giggling with his twin sisters, a certain petite blonde hair woman, that he hadn't taken his eyes off all night, he found him unable to look away from her, the way her hair blew in the New England evening breeze, the way that she ran her hand through her hair, and that giggle, he could stand there all night listening to her giggle. Typically he hated giggly girls, finding them dull and boring, but with Meredith it was just something different. He could hear all the whispering going on around him about her, he decided to ignore it, that everyone would soon get bored talking about him and Meredith, not realising that people who be talking about them for years to come. He saw her walking over to her friends and then heading back along the beach, towards her house, he knew it was still early for her to be going home, he quickly said bye to Addison, before running after her.

"Meredith" he called out, she didn't stop, didn't turn around, and just continued walking down the beach.

"Meredith" she walked a little quicker. He noticed that they were nearly to her house, that if she made it to her house, she would ignore him, and he didn't want to be ignored, he started running, he grabbed her arm.

"Meredith, where you going?"

"Derek please let me go" she pleaded with him, the look of pain in her eyes; he soon let her arm go.

"Meredith why are you leaving so early" Meredith looked at him, a little stunned to why he would care.

"What do you care?" she spat at him

"I do care Mer, that the problem"

"Yeah, you care...after all i am Ellis Grey's daughter"

"What are you talking about Mer.? What on earth has this got to with your mother?"

"Everyone knows that you want to be a doctor Derek, going out with her daughter, and she will give you the time of day"

"Mer..."

"Don't Derek" Meredith goes to walk into the house, Derek reaches out for her arm, pulls her close to him, captures her lips in his.

Meredith at first doesn't respond, a little shocked but soon she is kissing him back, their tongues exploring each other mouth, Derek arm snakes around her waist, pulling her even closer to him, his other running through her hair, the world stopped, and it was just they two of them, they both pulled apart breathlessly. Derek can see that Meredith is ready to run.

"Please Mer don't run from this" he pleaded with her. "You can't tell me you didn't feel that Mer"

"Derek...i can't. I'm sorry" with that Meredith quickly escaped from his arms and ran into the house, she locked the patio doors behind her, and leant against the wall in the kitchen and slid down it, burying her face in her hands, not believing that she had just ran from him.

Derek stood outside the house, not believing what had just happened, that kiss was amazing, it had never felt anything like that before, he just wished that he knew what had happened to make her run like that, after just one taste of her, he was hooked, he knew that he wouldn't give up. He stood there watching the house for nearly an hour, and finally decided to head back to the party, what he didn't see for Meredith peeking out of her bedroom window watching him walking down the beach.


	4. First Time

**Enjoy!**

The next morning, Mer crawled out of bed, having not slept a wink the night before, all she could think about the kiss. She dragged herself out of bed, and into the shower, feeling like the rug had been pulled out from underneath her, she knew that the night before she had completely fallen for Derek Shepherd, no matter how much she denied it, and that frighten her. Once she got out of the shower she could tell that Izzie was downstairs cooking, she found a old pair of shorts and a vest top, before pulling her hair back in a messy pony tail and quickly going down the stairs, she literally flew in the kitchen, before she noticed Derek sitting at the breakfast bar, Meredith quickly stop dead in her track, when she him.

"Derek, what are you doing here?" Meredith looked at him in surprise; he was the last person she expected to see this morning.  
"Well, you left the party so suddenly last night; i wanted to check that you were okay"

"I am fine" Meredith says going over to the coffee maker, and filling her cup with coffee, before heading back upstairs to her bedroom, she quickly closed the door and collapsed on her bed, burying her head in the pillow. A few moments later she could hear her bedroom door open and groaning into her pillows she says.

"Iz, go away" the person doesn't say anything, just walks over to her side of the bed, and she can feel his eyes on her, has he pushes her hair out of the way and whispers into her ear.

"So, you're avoiding me" his hot breathe against her neck, sending shivers down her spine. Meredith keeps her head buried in the pillow, so that Derek can't see how much he affects her.

"I'll take that has a yes, shall i? Meredith please don't ignore me, I'm sorry if i am coming on too strong, i just want us to be friends, that all"

"That all" she murmurs, not able to hide the slight disappoint in her voice, and she lifts her head and looks at him.

"If that is what you want Mer"

"And what if i don't" Mer murmurs quietly but Derek hears her and flashes her a smile, the smile that make her head fill with naughty and dirty thoughts.

"What if you don't what Mer?" Derek asks, sounding sure of himself.

"Derek" Mer says licking her lips.

"What?" Derek says, noticing that their faces are getting closer to each other, their lips just inches apart.

Meredith hesitates for just a second, she wants him so much, and that kiss is seared into her brain, she can remember every detail and how it made her feel, how been in his arms just made her feel so safe, and she wanted to feel that again. Meredith pulled Derek closer to her, letting their lips touch for the second time, it quickly became passionate, and Derek rolled her back on to the bed, with Derek on top of her. The kiss is so heated, that Meredith could feel Derek erection poking into her abdomen. Derek runs his hands through her hair, has his tongue works wonders in her mouth, she can feel herself getting wet, his hands underneath her vest, cupping her breast, Meredith feels her nipples harden underneath his fingers, they finally pull away when they finally need to come up for air. Meredith smiles at Derek, telling him exactly what she wants.

"Are you sure about Mer?"

"Yes Derek, please fuck me" Derek smiles, once gain captures her lips with his own, has he unclasped her bra, and then proceed to undo her shorts. Meredith lifted her hips of the bed, allowing Derek to pull her shorts off, Derek sits up, bring Mer up with him, and lifted up her vest top, and taking her bra off, his blue eyes darken with lust, has Derek takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking and nipping on it, and has Derek pulls away to lavish her other nipple with the same attention, Meredith quickly pulls off his shirt, seeing his well defined shoulders, her hands running up and down his back has he sucks on her nipple, Meredith feeling an orgasm starting to wash over her, Derek pulls away, and smiles devilish at her, before lying her back down on the back.

"You are so beautiful Mer" Derek quickly removes her panties, before burying his head in her pussy, licking and sucking on her clit, causing the orgasm that started just moment before wash over her, has her body trembled in ecstasy, Mer grabbed her bed sheet, and scream out his name.

"Derek" Derek smiles gently at hearing Meredith scream out his name, Derek continues to work her clit into a frenzy with his tongue, has she cum into his mouth.

"Derek...oh god" she screams. Derek kisses her, hard, so she can taste herself on his lips, Meredith rolls Derek onto his back, so she is now straddling him.

"You have way to many clothes on Mr Shepherd, i will have to do something about that" Meredith kisses him on the lips, undoing his shorts, Meredith pulls them down, freeing his large cock from it confines, Meredith looks at him a little surprised at the size of him.

"Are you okay, Mer?"

"yes I'm fine" she smiles at him, she places her hand around the base of his shaft, placing the tip of his cock, in the mouth, and she sucking and pumps on his hard cock, has her tongue swirls around his thick shaft, Derek can feel his orgasm building.

"Mer" Meredith keeps sucking and pumping his cock, has Derek starts to tremble, his orgasm hits him.

"Fuck Mer...I'm cumming" Derek shouts of has he shoot hot cum into her mouth, she swallows and licks him clean, before Derek pull her up to him, and kisses her, before wrapping his legs around her and rolling her back onto her back, he moves his kisses down to her neck, and places to fingers inside of her, has he continues to kiss her neck, and finding the spot that makes her moan out loud, he can feel her becoming wet again.

Derek reaches over to wear she has thrown his jeans, causing to get up, and pull out his wallet, gets the condom out of it, Meredith admires his ass when he bend down to get his jeans, Derek knows that she is watching him, and he can't help but smirk. He go back to where Meredith is still lying on the bed, hands Meredith the condom, and helps her to put it on him, he grabs her hair pulling on it slightly leaving her neck exposed, kissing her gently on the neck, has he slips his hard thick cock into her core, giving her time to adjust to his size, he doesn't want to hurt her, until he is completely buried in her. This feels so right, any worries they might have had in that moment completely disappeared, they felt connected to each other, has if they were one person. Derek started moving inside of her, gently at first, has they stared into each other eyes, Mer begged him to go faster, Derek sped up, pumping his cock hard and fast, has he kissed her, his tongue mimicking the action his dick was, Mer threw her head back, has she could feel herself starting to climax.

"Fuck Der"

"Meredith"

"Please Derek"

"Mer"

"Harder...please" Derek slams into her, Meredith screams, followed by Derek.

"Mer...That's it"

"Der...I'm cumming"

"Meredith" Derek screams has he spills into her, has her wall collapse around his cock, Meredith calls out his name, has he collapse on top of her, still inside of her, he doesn't want to move, he want to stay like this. He kisses her hard on the lips, has he beginning to shrink inside of her, he pulls out, rolls the condom off and chucked if in the bin. He pulls Meredith close to him, so she is curl up into him, their legs intertwined, Meredith head tucked into his shoulder.  
"That was..." Derek started.

"Amazing" Meredith finished smiled into his neck.

"Definitely" Derek runs lazily circles on her side, has they both drifted off in a deep slumber.

Several hours later, Meredith awoke to those brilliant blue eyes staring at her; Derek leans down

and kisses her, she is still entangled in his arms, and feeling so warm and safe, Derek can see in her eyes, that she wants to run, so he pulls her closer to him, and try to reassure her.

"It's okay Mer, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you"

"You can't promise that Derek"

"Maybe not, but right now in this moment, i am not going anywhere, so please don't push me away.

I know it your first instinct but please don't Mer"

"Okay" she whispers, Derek kisses her, Meredith relaxes into his embrace once again. They lay like that for a while, until Meredith gets off the bed, and puts her robe on.

"Derek, we have to get up, i am suppose to be going into town with the girls, you have to go"

Meredith says mournfully. Derek gets up and walks over to her, and captures her lips with his, quickly before pulling away.

"Do you want to go out tonight?" Derek asks has he got dressed.

"You mean a date?"

"If that what you want to call or, we could just say two old friends catching up"

"I thought we did that yesterday" Meredith says, Derek flashes her a smile, has he puts his t-shirt back on.

"Meredith, will you go out with me tonight please?"

"I would love too, Derek"

"I'll will pick you up at 7 o clock, wear something warm and comfortable. I will see you later" Derek says, giving her a quick but deep kiss, before slipping out of her door. Meredith stood there, not quite believing the morning's activities, before going in her bathroom for a shower.

Derek entered the kitchen deciding to go out the back way, when he walked right into someone.

"Sorry" Derek muttered to the person.

"So, you're Derek"

"I am you must be Cristina"

"Yes i am Meredith's person, she told me what you did with Matt yesterday, i thank you for that, he is an asshole" Cristina said to him, a little surprised from what Meredith had told him yesterday about her yesterday. "She likes you, and if you hurt her, i will kill you and make it look like an accident. Am i clear?"

"Perfectly clear, Cristina, I'm glad that Mer has got friends that look out for her, she needs it"

"Yes she does" Christina said walking out of the kitchen, Derek smiles to himself, than leaves the house.

**Please Read and Review**.


	5. First date and misunderstandings

Later that evening in the Shepherd house, Derek is in his room getting ready for his date with Meredith, he was still surprised at this morning events especially after last night, but he wasn't about to complain, he had, had feelings for Meredith since he was 14, but after her father's death, he never thought that he would see her again. He couldn't believe that they had sex that morning. He had been with a few women, but none of them made him feel the way he did with Meredith. It had felt right when they kissed, and it felt even more right when he was buried inside of her, he had felt complete. The local drive in, in town was showing old movies, he knew that Meredith wouldn't want something really sappy, like a romantic meal, that wasn't her, so he had borrowed his dad's car and had organised a little surprise for afterwards, he wanted this to be a night to remember for both of them, he knew that they didn't have long, only till the end of summer.

At Meredith's, she was trying what to wear this evening, Derek had called her earlier to tell her to where something casual and warm, but that was a given, remembering how chilly the Massachusetts evening were. She was feeling nervous; she had never been out on a proper date before, not that she had told Derek that. She couldn't believe that she was getting ready for a date with Derek Shepherd, she had been in love with him forever, and could not believe that this was happening. She had been with a few guys since losing her virginity when she was 14, but no one made her feel they way Derek did, when he kissed or touched her, she felt safe, that it was the place she belonged. She decided on a pair of jeans and a sweater and applied a little bit of make up when the doorbell rang, she knew it was Derek, she yelled down to Cristina.

"Cris, can you get the door, please"

"Yeah" she yelled up. Cris opened the door to Derek who was wearing, black trousers and a shirt; Cris stood aside and let him in.

"She will be down soon" Cris told him, as Alex comes out of the kitchen and Cristina walked into the living area to continue watching some of Ellis's medical tapes.

"Hi, Derek, isn't it?"

"Alex, we met yesterday on the beach"

"Yes we did, thanks for getting rid of Matt, he is an asshole"

"Well i can't sa..." Derek start before he heard her voice coming from the top of the stairs,

and his mouth dropped open, has Meredith walked down the stairs.

"Hi" Derek walked over and gave her a light kiss.

"You look beautiful Mer"

"Thank you" Mer blushed; no one had ever called her beautiful before, no one except her father.

"Are you ready?"

"Yep", Derek places his arm around and leads her out of the house. Derek had borrowed his father's convertible for the night, Derek help her in and got in the driver side. On their way to the drive in, they made small talk. Meredith was still in the dark about where they were going, at least until they pulled into the old drive in theatre.

"I can't believe this is still here, i thought they were closing this down years ago"

"They were but apparently they managed to keep it open, and started showing old movies"

"So, what are we seeing tonight?"

"I believe they are going to show Casablanca, is that okay?"

"Yep, i will admit i have never seen it before"

"You aren't the only one but Kat, and Nan was saying how good it was, not really my kind of

movie but we'll see. If you don't like it we can always go and do something else"

"I'm sure it will be fine, Derek"

To both of their surprise, they actually both enjoyed the, Meredith had never really liked romantic movies, thinking that the female characters were stupid, and moronic to fall in love with a guy they barely knew, but since coming back to the cod, only two days before her life had changed so much, but she had no idea how much. After the movie had finished, Derek drove along the coast to a remote spot, that over looked a small cove, Derek took Meredith's hand has she got out of the car, he reached into the back seat, and got a blanket, before wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to him. He showed her to the spot, where he sometimes comes to think, he has never shared this spot with anyone, not even Mark, but he wanted to share with Meredith. Derek laid the blanket down on the sand, and they both sat down, Derek held Meredith in his arm, has they could clear the waves crashing against the rocks, they sat there for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only minutes, Derek leant down and captured her lips with his own, wanted to taste her, Meredith deepened the kiss, and moans into his mouth, has her hand works the way under his shirt, has her hand ran over his chest, Derek quickly rolled on top, pinning Mer underneath him, he pushed her hair back off her face, and stroked her cheek with his thumb, looking into her eyes. Meredith runs her fingers through his curls, pulling his face, toward her. Licking her lips, she can't help but look at Derek's lips, merely centimetres from hers, their lips meet, and they both feel shivers running down their spine, Derek starts to nip and suck at her neck, until he find the spot, that cause Mer to erupt in Goosebumps all over her body, Derek smiles into her mouth.

"You like that" Mer doesn't say anything, but kisses him with more intensity, only pulling away from him from they both need to come up for air.

"Derek"

"Yeah"

"Fuck me, Derek"

"Mer i can't"

"What? Why?" Meredith says, pushing Derek off her, and going to stand up, but Derek grabs her, and pulls her back down to him, once again pinning her underneath him, she is trying to fight him, hitting him in the chest with her tiny infecttical fists.

"Have you finished yet?"

"I haven't even started, why did you ask me on a date, if you didn't want to sleep with me again"

"I never said that Mer"

"You said i can't"

"Yes i did, because i don't have any condom on me, that is why Mer"

"Oh" Mer says quietly, feeling a little embarrassed about her little outburst.

"I thought..."

"What did you think, Mer?"

"That you only wanted me for sex"

"Mer...The sex we had this morning was amazing, but i want to be there for you. I have liked you for years Mer" Meredith face brightens up when Derek says that, and can feel a small smile coming on.

"Me too" Derek lips crashes on her, tasting, exploring her until he pulls away.

"okay Mer, let's get you home" Derek stands up and reaches his hand out to her, which she gladly accepts, and once again pulling her close to him, has they walk towards the car.


	6. Girl Talk and Eye Sex

Meredith and Izzie managed to drag Cristina shopping, with Alex deciding to stay behind while the girls did their thing. They found a small coffee shop in town, Meredith had been fighting off questions about Derek in the car, on their way into town, and judging by the looks on their faces she knew they wasn't going to give in, so Meredith deflected the question back to Izzie.

"So Izzie, who was the guy you were with last night?"

"He's called Mark, but I'm more interested in Derek"

"Nothing happened" Meredith shrugged off.

"Was he any good, he looks like he would be good" Cristina said, causing Meredith to choke on her coffee.

"Excuse me"

"You heard what i just said"

"Who was any good?" Meredith heard his voice behind her, in her ear, sending shivers down her spine; she glared at Izzie and Cristina who just burst into laughter.

"no-one you know" Meredith answered him, and she notices Mark talking Izzie, has Derek pulls up a chair and sits next to Meredith, and takes her hand underneath the table.

"That hurts" Derek says, with a slight smile.

"You will get over it"

"I don't know how about that"

"I think you will, so where are you taking me tonight then?"

"That is for you to find out, i have to go, need to get some stuff for later. Mark, are you ready?" Derek looks over at Mark, and sees him and Izzie making out, in the middle of the coffee shop. "Sloan" Derek says louder, causing Mark to pull away from Izzie.

"Shep, can't you tell I'm busy here man" Mark says, Derek just shakes his head, and turns back to Meredith.

"I will see you at 7"

"Okay" Meredith feels Derek lips on her, has he tugs at her bottom lip to gain entry to her mouth, Derek slips his tongue into her mouth. Meredith moans into his mouth before he pulls away, leaving them both feel breathless.

"You look beautiful, Meredith" Derek kisses her again before standing up. "See you later. Bye Izzie, Bye Cristina" Derek drags Mark out of the coffee shop, with a bit of resistance.

"Mark, do you want to explain to the sisters, why..."

"No, let's go" Mark says picking up his pace to the supermarket. Back in the coffee shop Cristina was eyeing up both Meredith and Izzie and after a few minutes they both snapped at the same time.

"What" Meredith and Izzie said simultaneously.

"You both make me sick"

"Excuse me"

"You both so lovely dovey with those guys"

"You're just jealous" Izzie spat at her.

"I am not, Barbie, Meredith?"

"Don't involve me, I'm heading to the shop so we can eat tonight, and I'll let you two fight this out" Meredith said standing up and walking out of the coffee shop, Izzie and Cristina bickering behind her. They manage to do their shopping without anyone getting hurt, and when they get out to the car park, they see Derek and Mark again, Cristina simply rolls her eyes, and Meredith can't take her eyes off him, has he loads up the land rover with shopping, Derek can feel Meredith eyes on him, and he smirks to himself, knowing that she is watching him, he turns and faces to where she is standing has their eyes met across the car park. They couldn't take their eyes of each other; Meredith could feel herself getting lost in them, Derek doesn't hear Mark calling his name, until Mark punches him in the shoulder, causing Derek to break eye contact with Meredith.

"What?" Derek snapped at him

"Stop with the eye sex, and help me finish packing this car up" Mark says, sounding annoyed. They finish loading the car, and Derek throws a quick look in Meredith direction, flashes her a smiles, before getting in the car, and driving back home, has they pass the girls Derek gives Meredith a little wave.


	7. McStizzie and Boston

**This is mainly a Mark and Izzie update with hardly no MerDer, but i like this update, i just wanted one update to see how the Mark and Izzie relationship. Some of this was written by my best friend Vicky, who has been to Boston, so I want to give her a big thank you. Enjoy!  
**

Two week had passed since their first date, and Meredith and Derek was getting closer and closer, they spent a lot of time together, much to the annoyance of their friends, but secretly, Cristina, Izzie and Alex was pleased for Meredith, she had finally met a guy that worshipped the ground she walked on, and treated her like she deserved to be treated. If Derek wasn't at Meredith, and Meredith was at the Shepherd's, but tonight was Izzie's last night on the cape before going home to California for the rest of the summer, so they decided to have a leaving party, inviting all of their friends on the cod; they had been at parties at the Shepherd's and at the Radcliffe's so Mer knew it was her time to have a party. She quickly called her mother, needing the number of the caterers that they used. It was a surprise for Izzie, Mark had taken her to Boston for the day, they had spent a lot of time together over the past three weeks, but both of them knew that this was nothing more than a summer fling for them.

Mark decided to take Izzie to Boston for the day, to treat her, to show her of the wonderful city, and although that was where Meredith lived, Izzie had never had the chance to explore the city, to see the sites and to learn more of her countries history, especially as Boston was rich in American history and was home to many stories of pain and death which played a part in the making of their country. Izzie knew little about Boston, she knew it was located in New England and she knew how picturesque New England could be especially in the fall, and she had seen enough of Meredith's childhood photos to see that. Although this trip to Boston had meant having to get up really early to leave for the city and having driven up from Boston to the cod, only a couple of weeks before, she knew how long it would take. Izzie had slept for most of the trip letting her tired body rest and relax the steady movement of the car letting her drift off to a peaceful and uninterrupted sleep. Mark woke her up on entering the city, not wanting her to miss any of it; He smiled looking over at her as she rubbed her tired eyes and tried to smooth out her blonde hair. Meredith had told Mark to take Izzie on one of the Freedom Trails around city, a trail meant for visitors of any age. It enlightens the visitor on the cities deep history, a perfect introduction to Colonial Revolutionary Boston, and the two hour trail would give insight to over two and a half centuries of America most significant past, or so Meredith had told them. Izzie remembered learning about some of this in school but then to be honest she had more interest in boys and the lasts fashion to worry about who died and by what cause back in the time of Witches and the devil. Visiting some of Boston Historical sites was also on Marks list of things for them to do. The Boston Common was top of his list a large public park, the oldest in America open to the public, a place full of serene beauty, a place to picnic, or to just take a stroll with a loved one. Children and played in the area, in the summer, splashing in the water the commons fountains had to offer. Students out on study leave came here to soak up the sun, leaving behind the confines of college and the classroom.

As the summer sun shone down on them Mark slipped his hand into Izzie's as they strolled along the plush green grass watching the summer squirrels run through the trees, gathering leaves and bits for nests. Dogs chased them, and Izzie let out a magical laugh as she watched them. Mark watched her for a second or two and revelled in her beauty and the fact for now she was his. Marks arm slipped around her pulling her in close and he kissed the top of her blonde head. Izzie just smiled for now comfortable in his arms and her felt her hand moved to his and their fingers entwined. She looked down at them, wishing that this moment could last forever....but she knew it wasn't to be. But she was determined to push those thought far out of her mind and enjoy the beautiful summer's day, and not worry about the future or where any of this would lead them, would lead her. Today Isobel Stevens was taking a page out of Mark Sloan's book and living for the moment.

Granary Burying Ground, Benjamin Franklin's statue, Site of the Boston Massacre. The USS Constitution, Constitution Museum and Bunker Hill monument, were all things Mark wanted Izzie to see and experience on their trip. He didn't want her to have any time to think of anything else apart from the places he was taking her and the things he was showing her and opening her eyes too. Mark took her shopping around some of Boston finest shops. He showed her the smaller markets where they could find the more unusual items. A town so full of history has a few shops with typical souvenir trinkets to take home. Then he took her to the bigger outlets to the malls where Izzie was in her element, Macys, forever 21, all the shops a girl could want, and Mark obliged and went with her into everyone. In turned she walked around the music stores with him teasing him about his taste in music and movies. Izzie was surprised at how different Mark actually was, when she got to know him, the real him, the him he let very few people see she found she didn't mind him as much and he wasn't that bad of a person. Sure she knew that he was a manwhore, and he had a reputation, and he didn't hide this, and he felt no shame in it. Izzie also knew when she returned to California that Mark would go and find someone else for the rest of the summer, someone else to meet his needs to scratch those male itches. He so very often needed itching.

Izzie was glad that they had both made it clear that this was just a fling. She could cope with it knowing it wasn't going to last much longer than a few weeks. She could mentally prepare herself, and enjoy what time she had with him. And when she was with him he treated her right, made her feel like she was the only woman for him and part of her mind couldn't help but wonder if this was how he treated all his woman. If so she wasn't surprised he got as many women had he had, he could be hell of a smooth mover. Mark knew all the right things to say and moved to pull. He was no novice when it came to getting what he wanted from the opposite sex. She couldn't help but be a bit worried for Meredith, seeing how hard she had fallen for Derek in such a short time, she was happy for her, but she didn't want her to get hurt.

Both Mark and Izzie was disappointed when they had to leave the city to return to the cod, Izzie was strangely quiet on the trip back, Mark knew that she was thinking about going home tomorrow, she had admitted to him that day that she didn't want to go home, and even Mark found himself wanting her to stay, at least for the rest of the summer, a part of him wished that he was man enough to stay faithful to her while she went home, but Mark knew that, he couldn't, no matter how much he liked her. Mark took Izzie's hand in his, and looked over at her giving her a small, sad smile.

Pulling up to the house, they could hear the music, blaring from Meredith house, and Izzie clicked what was happening, once they parked the car, Mark walked around to Izzie side and opened the door, pulling Izzie close to him, has they walked into the house. Izzie mouth fell open, seeing what they had done for her. She looked around the lounge area, and saw all the decorations and all the hard work that Meredith, Derek and Alex had put into it, it brought tears to her eyes, she heard Mark whisper surprise in her eyes, and she turned to him, pulling him in for a kiss, before she felt herself being pulled away from him, by her friends.

**MerDer next...**


	8. I loves you and hurt

It was the end of July; they all only had a month left before returning to their prospective colleges, Meredith was over at Derek's place, talking to his sisters, Kathleen and Amy. She was waiting for Derek to return from his trip to New York, she hadn't seen him in about three days, and she missed him, she knew that the summer was almost over, and she had no idea what she was going to do, at the end of summer. Meredith was wandering where he was; he and Mark were supposed to be back by now.

"Meredith" Kathleen called her name. "Meredith", she called a little more loudly, causing Meredith to jump.

"What?"

"I think they are here" Meredith quickly gets off the stool, walking out of the kitchen, just has Derek walked through the door, Derek stopped seeing Meredith for the first time in 3 days, she took his breath away, standing their dressed in jeans and her bikini top she had never looked so beautiful to him, Derek strode over to her pulling her in his arms, his thumb caressing her cheek, before pulling her close to him to him and capturing her lips with his own, they explore each other mouths, and kiss with such passion, completely forgetting that they had an audience, they both pulled away breathlessly.

"I missed you"

"I missed you too"

"Okay, you two break it up, i would like to see my brother" Kathleen says, causing both Meredith and Derek to laugh, he gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before giving Kathleen a hug.

"New York, okay?"

"It was fine, I'll talk to you about it later" Derek walks back over to Meredith, and puts his arm around her. "Go for a walk with me, we need to talk"

"Okay", Meredith says quietly, feeling a little panicked, not sure what was going on. Derek takes Meredith's hand, has they walk out onto the beach, they walk for a while, just saying nothing, Meredith notices how Derek clings onto her, she can feel the urge to run but fights it, remembering how safe, it feels to be in Derek's arms, they come to a secluded spot on the beach, where they have been so many times, Derek pulls her down onto the sand, ands wraps his arms around her, Meredith rests her head on his shoulder. They sit there, not saying anything just looking out over the water.

Derek could feel the warmth from Meredith seeping into his skin, he had a million thought running through his head, how could he tell us this, she was suppose to be a summer fling, but somewhere in the past month, he had fallen in love with her, and he didn't want to lose her, but once he told her what he had discovered, he was afraid that she would tell him, that she didn't want to see him anymore, and the thought of that, made him go numb. He looks over at the blonde who was cuddled into him.

"Meredith"

"yeah" Meredith looks up at him, gives him a weak smile, he could see the worry in her eyes, he leans down and kisses her on the lips, a kiss filled with love, but also with a ping of regret, a bittersweet kiss, like it is the last kiss that they could be sharing.

"I know we agreed not to say this, but i love you, Meredith" Mer looks at him in surprised, but not completely surprised, she hesitates for just a second, having not heard those words in over three years, she finds her voice again.

"I love you too, Derek" Meredith murmurs, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Oh, Mer" Derek says gently, pulling her onto his lap, and pulls her close to him, with tears running down his face.

"You are not suppose to be crying Derek"

"I know, but i really need to tell you something, and i am scare that it is going to hurt you, and i don't want to do that"

"Derek, you're scaring me"

"The reason why i went back to New York was because i had a phone call from an old girlfriend of mine"

"Oh" Meredith starts to get up, but Derek tightens his grip on her.

"Meredith, please hear me out" Meredith nods. "She called because she had just discovered that she was..." Derek pauses, feeling all the air being sucked out of his lungs.

"Discovered what?" Meredith asks gently, running her fingers through his curls.

"That she pregnant"

"Pregnant?"

"Okay" Meredith goes to get up and this time Derek lets her go, he watches her, has she walks down to the water edge, Derek stays in the same spot, watching her, knowing that she needed some time. Derek was surprised that she didn't yell at him, didn't run, Meredith stood there was an hour just overlooking the water. As she looked out over the water, she could feel Derek's eyes constantly on her, she tried to focus on that fact that his ex girlfriend was pregnant, but all she could focus on was that he told her that he loved her. Hearing those words for the first time in a long time, and that Derek loved her, made her heart leap, but the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach, dulled the complete joy her heart felt. As they news of his ex, carrying his baby, actually sunk in, she couldn't stop the tears running down her face, she wanted to know, what it meant for them, but she knew, or thought that she did. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist, and she leant back, their bodies melting into one. She closes her eyes, remembering exactly how this felt, knowing that this would be the last time she felt his arms around her. She stiffened up, and Derek let her go, she couldn't look at him, before she did what she did best, ran.


	9. I miss you

It had been a week, since Derek told Meredith about his ex, and by this point, Cristina and Alex, was getting really concerned about Meredith, since that afternoon, when Meredith came running in the house, she hadn't left her bedroom, she wasn't eating, by the end of the week, they didn't know what else to do, they knew that there was only one person, they could turn too, but it was the one person that had broke her. Alex agreed to go over to the Shepherd's but when he arrived he was shocked to see the state of Derek, he actually looked worse than Meredith did, Derek was sat looking out over the water, in the same place that he had been sat for hours, Alex came and sat down beside him.

"Derek" Derek looks over to him, Alex was shocked to see how bad he looked with his red rimmed eyes, his unruly curls windswept and that he hadn't shaved in a week.

"Alex, how is she?" Derek asked sounding so broken that it almost broke Alex's heart, Alex wanted to call him out for hurting Meredith but sat next to him, he saw that he never had too, that Derek was punishing himself..

"Considering that she hadn't left her room for a week, she looks better than you" Derek chuckles lightly.

"I didn't mean to hurt her, i love her Alex"

"Derek, can i ask what happened?"

"Hasn't Mer told you?"

"Meredith hasn't spoken to any of us in a week, other than to tell us to go away"

"Alex i am so sorry"

"I can see that Derek, now what happened?"

"You know i went to New York, last weekend" Alex nodded his head "well, my ex girlfriend told me she was pregnant"

"Oh"

"Yeah"

"Are you getting back...?" Alex wandered, maybe was why Meredith was so upset, but looking at Derek, he knew that it wasn't that.

"God, no, but i had to tell Mer" Both Derek and Alex sit there just staring at the water for moments in completely silence.

"Derek, the reason i came over, was we don't know what to do, maybe you can..."

"She doesn't want to see me" Derek says mournfully, tears prickling at his eyes.

"Derek, she misses you, look i wasn't going to tell you this, but she keeps having nightmares, nightmares about her father, and she hasn't had any of them in over a year, she keeps calling out for you, Cris or I can't help her. Please just try" Alex pleads with him.

"Okay, but i am not making any promises"

"Just try, Derek that is all we ask" Derek and Alex, stands up, and Derek walks towards the Grey's place. They walk in through the kitchen door, Derek stepping into the place that he hasn't been in for a week, Alex leaves him to walk up the stairs, toward Meredith's room, and he sees Cristina stood outside Mer bedroom, pleading with Mer to let her in, when Cris sees Derek stood there, she gives in a evil look.

"You look like crap" Cris spat at him.

"Thank you Cris"

"I wasn't being nice, i told you not to hurt her Shepherd"

"Cristina, this is between me and Meredith"

"Shepherd, she hasn't left her room in over a week, now i have never seen her like this, you ruined her now it's your job to put her back together" Cristina said before walking off, leaving Derek standing in front her Meredith room, he guessed that Meredith had locked herself in her room, considering that Cristina was stood outside, and he knew enough about their friendship that usually she was by Meredith side. He still tried the door, and it was locked, he knocked on the door, but knew that she wouldn't answer.

"Meredith" he said gently through the door.

"Go away" he heard her say.

"Meredith, please open the door"

"Leave me alone"

"Meredith i am not going anywhere"

"I don't care"

"Okay, then, i will sit out here until you come out" Derek slides down the door, sitting with his back against the door, he sit there in silence for about an hour, with his face buried in his hands, he can hear movement in the room, and can feel her sitting on the other side of door, Derek turns slightly so that he can rest his head, and his hand against the door.

"Meredith, i am so sorry" Derek says quietly, he waits for her to say something but she doesn't, Meredith rests her hand against the door, feeling the heat from Derek body.

"Mer" Meredith closes her eyes, remembering how the shortened sound of her name, rolled off his tongue.

"Derek" she whispers so quietly, that Derek only just hears her.

"Meredith, don't do this baby, please. Don't hide away; Alex and Cristina are worried about you, so am i.

"How long has it been?"

"How long has what been?"

"Since, you told me you loved me" he can hear her sobbing through the door, all he wants to do is break the door down, gather her in his arms, and take the pain away, but he can't, knowing that he caused it.

"A week"

"I miss you"

"I miss you too"

"Derek i want this pain to go away"

"I want to take it away Meredith, but i don't know how"

"Are you going back to her?"

"Oh god, no Mer...I want to be there if the baby is mine, but it is you that i love, and that i wants to be with"

"Summer is almost over" Meredith says so sadly, that it breaks Derek's heart, knowing in those few words, that when summer is over, so will they be.

"It doesn't have to be over, not for us, we can find a way"

"Derek...promise me one thing"

"Sure...anything"

"That once the summer is over, that you will never forget me"

"Meredith, don't..."

"Derek, i know you never meant to hurt me, but you are going to be a father, i can't take that away from you"

"Meredith..."

"I love you, Derek, i do, i love you enough to walk away, but you have to promise me that at summers end you will let me go"

"If that's what you want Meredith"

"It is...you promise?" she asked, Derek sit there quietly, has his world comes crashing down around him. "Derek" Mer says, sounding so unsure of herself.

"Yeah i promise" Derek would at that point promise her anything if it would her to talk to him, he had spent the last week without her, and that had all but killed him, he wasn't willing to let her go, he would try and convince her not to give up on them. He heard the door unlock, he went to stand up as the door opened, and for the first time in a week he set eyes on the woman that he loved more than anything; she was dressed in a pair of his sweats, and her Dartmouth tee, her hair was messy, her eyes red, and puffy from all the tears, but she had never looked so beautiful to him, he stepped inside the bedroom, pulled her into his arm, and captured her lips with his. The kiss started off so tender, a kiss that was filled with so much longing, forgiveness, a kiss that was filled with bittersweet memories but filled with love, but one that would last a lifetime.


	10. Make up Sex

**Just to make this clear, so there isn't any more confusion, this is still based 15 years ago, I will let you know when we reach the present day. This is set in 1993, since the beginning of this I worte last year. Enjoy!**

They pulled apart but only when they needed to come up for air, before crashing their lips together once more, but this time so passionate has Derek picked her, she wrapped her legs around his waist, and murmured against his lips.

"I love you, Derek"

"I love you too" Derek carries her over to the bed, and sits her on the edge of the bed. "Share a shower, Mer"

"I think that would be a good idea" Meredith giggles, Derek picks her up and carries her over to the en-suite, and put Meredith down and turns on the shower, while Meredith gets undressed, for the first time in days, she steps into the shower. Derek quickly undresses and joins her in the shower, Derek grabbed her shampoo, and gently pulls on her hair, so her head is under the shower head, he ran his fingers over her now wet hair, as he pours the shampoo, into his hands, and lathered it up in her hair, and doing the same with her conditioner, the smell of lavender filling the shower, a smell that he had missed so much over the past week.

They look in turns washing each other, once finished Meredith leans up to Derek, her arms going around his neck, pulling him down to her, their lips met, just lightly touching Meredith deepens the kiss, Derek's hands running over her body, and cups her ass in his hands as he lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist, has they kissed deeply. Derek placed the tip of hard thick cock, at her entrance, before pulling out, Meredith pulls away.

"No condom Mer"

"Oh" Meredith unwraps her legs, and placed them on the shower floor.

"Let's finish showering" they both continue to wash each other down, Derek gets out of the shower first and hand Meredith a while fluffy, warm towel, before pulling her close to him, he doesn't want to let her go, Derek could stay like this forever, just holding her in his arms. Derek lifted cupped Meredith chin and lifted her head so he could look in her eyes, all he could see was love in them, love for him, he once again captured her lips with each other, his tongue begging for entry wanting to taste her, he deepens it, and moans, Meredith unwraps the towel from Derek waist, pushes him against the wall of the bathroom and goes down on her knees, she takes the tip of Derek's long, hard thick shaft into her mouth, and cupped his balls with her hand, she twirled her tongue around the tip, tasting his pre-cum, before taking his whole length in her mouth.

"Mer..." She continues to swirl her tongue around his shaft, as well has playing with his balls, has Derek can feel an orgasm over coming him.

"Meredith..." Derek called out, as she continued to sucked him

"MEREDITH...I'M CUMMING" Derek spills his hot, thick cum down the back of the throat has he trembles. Meredith licked him clean before standing up again, Derek comes down from his high, has Meredith kisses him, Derek picks her up, and carries her over to the bed, and laid her down, he quickly scans her body, with his eyes, burning her into his mind before laying down, kissing her, working his way down to her breasts, sucking on her nipples, giving both nipples the same attention, he works down over her abdomen and down to her hot, wet core, he flicks her clit with his tongue, before plunging it inside of her.

"DEREK..." Meredith calls out; Derek once again flicks her clit, and places two fingers inside of her.

"FUCK...DEREK" Derek smiles to himself, trying not to think about what was going to happen at the end of summer, he kept licking, until he felt her tremble has her orgasm overcome her.

"DEREK..." Derek works his way back up her over her abdomen, trailing up with kisses and nips until he reaches her nipples, taking one in his mouth, he sucks, and massages it with his tongue, he gives the other breast the same attention before coming up to her mouth, and kisses her hard. Derek reaches over to the bedroom cabinet, where he pulls out a condom, Meredith takes it off him, and opens the wrapper, and rolls the condom on to his hard shaft, and wraps her legs around his waist.

Derek cupped her ass and pulls her towards him has he enters her, until he is fully immersed inside her. Meredith pulls him close to kiss him, has he start pumping into her, her nails digging into his back has he pumped harder and faster in to her.

"MEREDITH..."

"HARDER...DEREK"

"OH GOD..."

"DEREK...I'M CUMMING" Derek keeping pumping into her and can feel himself reaching his peak, he holds it off, and they cum together.

"MEREDITH..."

"DEREK..." Derek pulls out and rolls off Meredith, and pulls her close to him, Meredith cuddles into his, her head resting on his chest, listening to sound of his heart beat, she closes her eyes, to remember exactly how it sounds. Derek kisses the top of her head.

"I love you, Meredith" Meredith can feel the tears in her eyes, and wills them to go away, not wanting Derek to know how upset she actually is, about the end of summer.

"I love you too, Derek"


	11. One Last Time

**Enjoy!**

We look in to see the lovers, curled up in each other arms, for the last time. In their dreams, and in their deep slumber, they can forget the fact that they are leaving each other today, that they would never see each other again, after Meredith leaves that afternoon. Meredith is dreaming of last night, the romantic dinner, the stroll on the beach and making love underneath the stars, on their little secluded cove.

Meredith shifted in Derek's arms, shifting closer to him, so their bodies were one, neither of them wanting to wake up, back to the harsh reality that this was the last time, they would be in each other arms. Derek opened his eyes to see Meredith clinging to him with tears running down her face and onto his chest, Derek feels completely helpless, he know how much this is hurting her, because it is hurting him just has much; he can see it in her eyes every day, and he knows that she often wakes up during the night in tears, he had spent everything he could think of to try and get her change her mind but nothing worked, Meredith had made her mind up, no matter how much it hurt her. Derek can feel the tears prickling at his eyes, after kissing her on the head, and whispering how much he loves her, he unwraps himself from Meredith embrace, and climbs out of the bed, and walks over to the French doors and out on the balcony, looking out over the crashing waves of the Atlantic Ocean, deep in thought until he can smell her behind him, Derek turns to look at her, without hiding the tears this times.

Meredith wake up to a cold bed; she felt a wave of panic until she looked over towards the sound of the waves against the beach and standing there on the balcony was the one person that could take away all the pain in her chest, a pain that hurt so much, that it was barely bearable, but she had to stay strong for herself, for him and their baby. She was doing the right thing she was sure of it, so why did the thought of leaving him hurt so damn much, that she felt like she was making the biggest mistake of her life. She climbed out of bed, grabbing the sheet, and wrapping it around herself, and walks over to Derek. Derek turns and look at her, with the tears running down his face, tears to match her's, it was the first time, she had seen Derek cry, and it broke her heart, to realise that she was doing this to him. She feels a wave of panic wash over her, and she starts to walk back into the bedroom, and grabbing her clothes, not bearing to be in the same room has him.

"Meredith, what are you doing?" Meredith continues to gather her clothes.

"Meredith" Derek says a little louder, has she hurrily starts to get dressed. Derek stands in front of her, grabs her shoulders, forcing Meredith to stop.

"Mer" Derek cups her chin and lifted her face, so he can look her in the eyes.

"I know what you are doing, Meredith and don't, please don't push me away"

"Derek, i can't do this, i can't say goodbye"

"Then, don't, baby" Derek says, leaning down and capturing her lips with his own, Meredith attempts to pull away, but she can't, the pull between them is to much. Meredith quickly gives into the kiss, their tears mixing together, Derek deepens the kiss, Meredith snakes her arms around his neck, plays with the curls at the base of the neck, before coming up for air.

"I love you Meredith Grey, and i always will" Meredith eyes start watering, she kisses Derek, Derek runs his hand over her half naked body, and gently, pushes her back onto the bed, he knows that the image of perfection was Meredith, with her slight curves, it was the body that it had gotten to know so well over the past two months, the body that he didn't know how he would live without. Derek removed his boxers, before join her on the bed, he kissed her so hard, and grabbed her hair and yanked it back so he could get better access to her neck, and the spot that was just for him, that never failed to turn her on, Meredith moaned, has he kissed and nipped at her neck, he placed two fingers inside of her. Meredith lifted her hips of the bed, causing his fingers to go deeper inside her; Derek kisses her on the lips, before working his way down to her wet core that was wet just for him. Derek, flicked her clit with his tongue, he can hear Meredith moaning in pleasure. He can feel her tremble has her orgasm over comes her.

"Derrrrrrrrrrrrrek..."

"Cum for me, baby" Derek says before he continues licking, and flicking her clit.

"Fuck...DERRRRRRRRRREK" has she cum, her hot cum, dripping down Derek's fingers, Derek licks her clean than comes up and kisses her so she can taste herself in his mouth. Derek rolls over so Meredith is on top of him, straddling him. She leans down and kisses him before trailing kiss down over his body, before taking her hard, thick shaft into her mouth, and plays with his balls with her fingers, she swirls her tongue around his shaft, licking off the pre-cum, Meredith runs her mouth and tongue up and down the length of his shaft.

"Mer...Ohhhhh" she continues to suck, and swirl her tongue around her pulsating shaft.

"God...that it...fuck"

"MERRRRRRRRRRRR" he screams out, has he spills into her mouth. Meredith licks him cleans, before she works his way up his body, kissing and nipping until Derek rolls her back over, and starts kissing her, his tongue exploring her mouth, hungrily and with a sense of urgency, knowing that in an hour Meredith would leave his bed, never to return. Derek runs his hand through her hair, Meredith can feel his erection pressing against her abdomen, she parts her legs, and Derek places

the tip of his cock at the entrance to her wet, sweet pussy.

"What do you want Meredith"

"Make love to me Derek"

"Okay" he smiles, before once again capturing her lips with his own, has he pushes his cock into her pussy, until he was fully immersed inside her.

"I love you Derek" Derek flashes her, his mcdreamy smile before starting to pump into her, slow and gently, until he couldn't take it anymore, Meredith closes her eyes, has he goes faster, sliding in and out of her tight pussy.

"Oh...Derek"

"Fuck..."

"Harder...please" Meredith lifts her hips of the bed, causing him to go deeper into her until he fully

fills her up.

"Mer...Baby"

"That it...oh god" Meredith shouts out.

"Meredith"

"DEREKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" Meredith screams has her walls tighten around his cock, has she orgasm. Derek holds off letting Meredith ride it out, and finally let's himself tip of the edge.

"MEREDITHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Derek screams has he spills into her, Meredith opens her eyes, running her hand through his unruly curls, pulls him down to top of her, to kiss him, they rest their heads together with Derek still inside of her, catching their breaths and feeling connected, they both just want to stay there forever, in just that moment in time. Derek slips out of her, rolls off her and gathers her in his arms, Meredith rests her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, with her hand on her abdomen. Derek buries his face, into her hair, smelling the lavender from her conditioner. For a few moments they lay like that, just savouring the moment, Derek phone rings breaking the moment, Derek reaches over to it, and answers it and then passes it over to Meredith.

"Cristina" Derek says to her.

"Hey what up?"

"Just to let you know we are leaving in two hours, Mer"

"Two hours" Meredith says with a note of panic in her voice. "We weren't suppose to leave until 3 this afternoon"

"Alex, has to get back to Boston for work, Meredith"

"Okay, I'll be 15 minutes" Meredith says, with a hint of sadness in her voice, but in a way feeling glad that they are leaving earlier than planned, but it didn't make it any easier to say goodbye. Meredith passed the phone back to Derek and unwraps herself from his arms, grabbing her clothes and quickly pulling them on, even before Derek has a chance to get out of the bed.

"Mer"

"Sorry Derek, but i have to go we are leaving in two hours"

"Oh" Derek sits on the edge of the bed, Meredith looks over at him, seeing him hunched over, and the reality of it finally hitting her, she rushes over to his side, and takes him in her arms.

"Derek, come and see me before i go"

"Of course i will, i love you"

"I love you too and I'll see you" Derek pulls her towards him and kisses her, before pulling again. "Meredith, go, cause if you don't i won't let you go"

"Okay" Meredith sounds defeated, and get up and walks over to the bedroom door, she looks back over at Derek, before walking out and closing the door behind her.


	12. I will Always love you

**You might want tissues for this update. Enjoy!**

As she leaves the Shepherd house for the last time and walks toward her house, the tears comes, and won't stop, she walks into the house to hear Alex and Cristina arguing, about something, but she can't be dealing with it not this morning, she walks up to the stairs and slams her bedroom door, and goes into have a shower. Once she is in the shower, Meredith finally breaks down, has the sobs over takes her body, she collapses in the shower, but the tears won't stop coming, she can hear Cristina and Alex banging on her bedroom door, that just gives her the strength to pull herself together, just to get up and wrap a towel around herself.

"Meredith"

"Guys I'll be out in a moment"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah i am fine"

"We are going in an hour Meredith; we need to load your stuff up in the car"

"Most of my stuff is downstairs I've only got a little more to pack"

"Okay, we will see you downstairs" she can hear them walking down the stairs, she sits on her bed, just staring into space. It isn't until she hears another knock on the door almost 45 minutes later that realises where she is.

"Meredith" Alex says through the door.

"Yeah?"

"We are loading up the car; we have fifteen minutes before we go"

"Okay Alex" Meredith gets up from the bed, and grabs some clothes from one of her holdalls, and once dress, just ties her wet hair back into a messy ponytail, before dumping any stuff into another bag, and makes it downstairs, just before the housekeeper arrives to close the house for the summer.

"Finally" Cristina says

"Sorry"

"Ignore her, Meredith; she woke up a little cranky this morning"

"Shut up, evil spawn"

"See what i mean" Alex says to Meredith, causing Meredith to laugh for the first time that day. Alex takes her bag of her and puts it in the back of the car, while Meredith looks around for Derek.

"Ready Meredith"

"Not yet, Cris, Derek suppose to be here" Cristina just gets in the car, behind the wheel. Meredith glances at her watch every few minutes, with Cristina shouting at her to get in the car, 30 minutes passes, and Derek still hasn't turned up, the tears slides down her face, not believing that he didn't come to say goodbye to her, she feels Alex arms go around her, has she starts to sob, Alex pulls her close and holds her has her heart breaks.

"I told you he wouldn't come"

"For once Cristina, don't be such a heartless bitch" Alex snaps at her, he looks at Meredith and whispers in her ear. "Meredith, we need to go"

"He said..."

"I know, but come on let's go home" Alex says gently, feeling so sorry for her.

"Okay" Meredith manages to get out between sobs. Alex helps her get in the car, before going around the other side and climbing in next to her, putting his arms around her, trying to comfort her.

Cristina hit the accelerator and has suddenly has she started Cristina hits the brakes hard causing them to jerk forward.

"You idiot, i could have fucking killed you" Cristina yells.

"Cristina, what the fuck?" Alex says before seeing exactly why she stopped. "Meredith"

"What?"

"I think someone is here to see you" Meredith whips her head up to see Derek standing front of the car. Meredith jumps out of the car, before finding Derek standing in front of her, she jumps into his arms, burying her head in his neck, has she sobs.

"I thought you weren't coming"

"I'm sorry i needed to sort something out before saw you, i didn't think it would take so long"

"It doesn't matter now, you're here" Meredith lifts her head, and kisses him, with so much love and passion, Derek just wants to beg her not to leave.

"I'm going to miss you so much Meredith, I love you"

"I love you too, what you said this morning, i will always love you too"

"Meredith, i need to ask you this one more time, please don't do this, we can find a way to make this work, please"

"Derek..."

"It's okay Mer, don't say it, baby" he says kissing her again. "I have something for you, a reminder of this summer so you don't forget us"

"Derek, i could never do that"

"I hope not, but wait until you are in Boston and on your own before you open it"

"I will, i promise"

"Bye Meredith, you better go"

"Bye Derek" she kisses him one last time, before pulling away and goes to climb back into the car, she looks back at him, and mouths "I love you always"

"I love you always too" he says back to her, and just like that she was gone.

Meredith looked down at the wrapped present in her hand, and decided to open it, inside the was a picture of them from the night before, a picture of the two of them looking into each other eyes with so much love.

"Cristina stop the car, NOW" Before Cris can stop, Meredith jumps out the car, and runs towards Derek. Derek is a little shocked to her running toward him, has she jumps into his arm, and kisses hard, but with so much love, and passion, it takes Derek aback a bit. When Meredith pulls away he grins at her.

"What was that for?"

"The picture, i love it"

"Good, i am glad"

"I will always keep it Derek"

"And i will always keep mine"

"I love you"

"I love you too" Derek kisses her for one last time, before pulling away from him.

"Goodbye Derek" she whispers, has the tears start again, before running back to the car, and just like that she was gone.

"Goodbye, Meredith" he whispers, so softly has the sobs over take him, and he can feel Mark holding him up, has he breaks down.


	13. Fifteen Years LaterPresent Day

**From this point on we are in the present day fifteen years later, an we will stay there from now on. A shortish update. Enjoy!**

**Fifteen years later, 2008**

**Los Angeles, California**

Derek was pulled from his memories by persistent knocks at his door; he quickly wiped away the tears, and put the photo back in the drawer, where he kept it. He came himself a minute to compose himself has he wasn't expecting anyone; he had no appointment that he knew of.

"Come in"

"Hey, Derek" a certain red-head, said has she entered his office,

"Addison, what are doing here?"

"I remembered what day it was, and thought that you could do with some company. Come on, we are going out for dinner, Mark is meeting us at the restaurant"

"Addison, thank you but i just wanna be..."

"Alone. Yeah we know...but it isn't going to happen Derek, now let's get going" Addison said, not giving in to him, one look at her face, Derek knew he wasn't going to win, he sighed in defeat, and got up and followed Addison out of the office.

**Manhattan, New York**

Meredith was looking at the photo, that he gave her, before she left that last day; it was her most treasured possession along with the baby photo of their son. Meredith was remembering that summer, when Cristina burst into her office.

"Come on, Mer, you have nothing left to do now, so let's go"

"Cris, i just wanna..."

"be on your own, yeah i know but tough, get your ass in gear and out of this office, we are not going to let you sit there and mope over him again"

"Okay...but I'm doing this..."

"Under duress, i don't care. We are dropping your stuff over to Izzie's apartment and we are going out, you're leaving for Los Angeles in two days, you're not leaving us without a good send off" Meredith knew that there was no point in arguing with her, she grabbed her bag, and jacket, Cristina had already grabbed her box of her desk, and was already at the elevator. Meredith took one look around her old office, silently saying good bye to it, before closing the door, and saying goodbye to that chapter of her life. She quickly said another goodbye to her colleagues, before joining Cristina in the elevator.


	14. Nights Out

**This once again flickers back and forth between LA and New York. Enjoy!**

Mark Sloan was waiting at The Ivy restaurant in Beverly Hills for Derek and Addison, he was wondering what was taking them so long as they walked in, he took one look at Derek, noticing that he was looking rough, like he did every certain day once a year. He just wished that he could do something to help him but he knew that only one person could, he wasn't a cruel man, and he had always liked Meredith but he hoped that wherever she was, she was suffering like Derek.

"Hey man" Mark said giving Derek a manly hug, Mark leant over and gave his wife a kiss. Addison excused herself saying she was popping to the bathroom; it gave Mark a chance to talk to Derek.

"Derek, you look like crap" Derek laughed, for the first time that day.

"Yeah, i just miss her"

"It been fifteen years Derek"

"Yeah i know that, and I've tried moving on but i can't help but compare everyone to her, i just don't know how to get over her"

"Shame no one knows where she is, seeing her once, might just help"

"Maybe" Derek said thoughtfully. Addison came back from the bathroom, and they ordered their food, it was a nice distraction for Derek, for the first time that day, she wasn't on his mind, he was glad that Addison had dragged him out of his office. Mark suggested that they move on and hit a bar, he wanted to keep Derek occupied, Addison had an emergency surgery and was paged back to the hospital. Addison said bye, and left for the hospital. Mark hailed down and cab and they headed for Chateau Marmont in Hollywood.

------------------------------------------------------------

Cristina and Izzie had dragged Meredith to Joe's bar, their regular haunt, to start the night, they ordered their food, and started drinking beer to begin with, has the night went on, they moved on to the tequila. Once Alex, and George joined them they moved on to '21', it was the first time Meredith had been there for over two years, it was usually a bit upmarket for her, but they did have a good time, Meredith was standing at the bar, waiting to be served when she heard someone say her name behind her.

"Meredith Grey!" the person exclaimed, Meredith closed her eyes, hoping it wasn't the person that she thought it was, she had seen her in years, since that summer. She turned around slowly.

"Kathleen" Mer says.

"Meredith, how are you? It's been a long time?" she said coming over and giving her a hug.

"I'm fine thank you, and how are you?"

"Yeah I'm good, i married Robert, and we have three kids. You look good Meredith, and it was so nice to see you again after all these years"

"Thank you Kat, how's your parents and your sisters and brother?"

"Mom is good, dad died five years ago"

"Oh my god, Kat. I am so sorry; i know how close you all were."

"It was hard but we made it through" Kat said.

"What is everyone doing now?"

"Nancy is an OB/GYN, married with four kids, Amy is an artist, just married with a baby on the way, and Olivia is in her last year of med school. Derek is a producer in LA" Kathleen says seeing Mer eyes glaze over at the mention of Derek's name.

"That good, well Kat, say hello to everyone for me" Meredith said quickly wanting to get out of there has quickly as possible, although she did wonder why Derek wasn't a doctor, but she didn't want to ask..

"Meredith he misses you"

"Please don't Kat" Meredith pauses; not sure if she want to know the answer to the next question, but she hears herself saying it before she realised she was saying it.

"Is he...alright?" she wanted to know, she had loved him once.

"He ... exists, I think is the right word Meredith. He still loves you, you know" Meredith could feel a small smile coming on, but she suppressed it, not wanting Kathleen to see how much that meant to her.

"Kat, I have to go, it was nice to see you again" Meredith quickly makes her way over to her friend and tell them they are moving on, Meredith walks out of the bar before any of them can ask why. They hit a few more bars, Meredith kept knocking back the tequila, trying to the forget the conversation she had with Kathleen, trying not to remember his name, Cris, Iz, Alex and George all notice Mer change of mood, and guess correctly why, but Mer wasn't talking about it, and the night ended with Mer dragging a guy home with her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in Los Angeles, Derek and Mark was sat in their regular booth, they were waiting for Addison to rejoin them, once she finished her surgery, Derek was talking to some blonde girl, Mark felt like a spare part, but he was used to it, it was always happen when they went out, but he didn't bother learning the girl's name, knowing that she would be gone in an hour. Derek dragged the girl to the bathroom, leaving Mark sitting there on his own. Mark just shook his head, when his phone started ringing, he quickly answered it went he saw that it was Kathleen.

"Hey Kathleen, what's up?"

"Do you know where Derek is? I've been trying to get hold him"

"I'm with him now, well, not exactly with him, you know what i mean"

"Some young thing, yeah"

"Yep, nothing new"

"I was just ringing to say guess who i just saw?"

"Who, Kath"

"Meredith Grey"

"Did you just say Meredith?"

"Yeah i did"

"Meredith" Mark heard Derek saying behind, Mark turned to face him, seeing the look on his face, Derek grabbed Mark phone.

"Meredith" Kathleen cringed on the end of phone, hearing the hope in Derek's voice, knowing that she was about to dash it.

"It's me"

"Kathleen. Sorry i just heard..."

"I know. I rang to say that i saw her tonight"

"You saw Mer"

"Yep, she said to say hi"

"Is that all after all these years?"

"Derek don't do this to yourself, Meredith seemed happy"

"Did she ask...?"

"She did, i told her the truth Der, and I wasn't going to lie to her"

"What did she say?"

"I'm sorry Der, she didn't say anything, and she kind of ran out of here"

"Okay, I've got to go" Derek says passing the phone back to Mark, and going back over to the blonde who he was with earlier, and left with her. Mark just watched him leave, noticed Addison walked into the bar, just passing Derek leaving, she looked at Mark as if to ask what was going on; Mark just shrugged his shoulder, then remembering that Kathleen was still on the phone.

"Kath, he's gone"

"Not surprised, i just don't know what to do anymore, it been fifteen years and he still holding onto that little bit of hope"

"What did she say?"

"Not much, she asked after the family, told her about dad. She asked about Derek, when i told her that he still loves her, i could see it in her eyes, that she still felt the same, but i didn't tell him that, he already has too much hope"

"Maybe, Kath, but it is the anniversary today, I'm hoping that after this he will start to move on properly"

"Me too, but we have been hoping this for the past fifteen years"

"I know Kath, but i really don't know what to do anymore"

"No one does, Mark"

"Bye Kath, say hi to mom for me"

"Will do; look after him Mark, please. Bye" Kathleen said hanging up.


	15. Denial

The next morning, Meredith woke up, she looked over the alarm clock in her room, which said 7 am, she groaned and buried her head in the pillow, she remembered the conversation with Kathleen, her one night stand she had threw out hours before, after calling him Derek, he didn't take kindly to that, but Meredith didn't care. She wished that she had asked Kathleen for Derek's number, just to hear his voice, hoping it would numb the pain for just a second. It was too late, now, she needed to move on with her life, and her new start in Los Angeles would provide just that. She couldn't go back to sleep, she didn't want him in her dreams. Her phone rang; she reached over for her phone.

"Hello, Meredith Grey"

"Ms Grey, sorry to call you so early, i am Miranda Bailey, Mr Shepherd's secretary, he asked me to call about meeting for lunch to discuss your client's Serena Wilson's role on Passions" she tells her, Meredith tries to process everything she had told her but her head is all over the place.

"I'm relocating to LA tomorrow, is the day after alright?"

"Just let me check with Mr Shepherd, please" Meredith takes the chance to grab her diary, and a pen from her bag.

"Ms Grey, I'm going to pass you on to Mr Shepherd, please hold" Meredith hears the holding tone, silently cursing, really not in the mood for it this early in the morning.

"Ms Grey" Meredith breath hitches in her throat for just a second, she could have sworn that he sounded like Derek, but quickly dismissed it.

"Mr Shepherd, sorry but you do realise it is 7 o clock in the morning in New York", Mer says, at the other end of the phone Derek it surprised to find her sounding so much like Meredith, but he just dismisses it has false hope after the events of the previous night.

"I am aware of the time Ms Grey, i wanted to get this out of the way this morning, I'm sure you can understand, I'll be quick Ms Grey. I was hoping to meet with you before we started filming Passions, and i was wandering if there was a chance that you could fly out here to meet with me. I am aware it's short notice, but as soon as possible would be nice"

"Can i ask why please Mr Shepherd? It's unusual for the agents to meet with producers like yourself."

"Yes, Ms Grey, but i like to get to know my actors agent, especially has we will be working together a lot of the time.

"Mr Shepherd, has i told your secretary i am relocating to Los Angeles, i am due to fly out tomorrow morning, so the day after would be ideal"

"Ms Grey is there anyway i would be able to meet with you tomorrow, because i am going away on Wednesday" Meredith was silent for a moment.

"I will see if i can get the red-eye out tonight, i will call the airport, and I'll get back to you as soon has i know"

"Okay, thank you Ms Grey, i look forward to hearing from you" Derek hangs up the phone. He run his hand through his hair, he is going insane, everyone to him is sounding like her, or at least what he imagines she would sound like.


	16. Meredith?

**There is an explanation to why they haven't clicked on yet to who each other are...they did know each other's surnames, but they both think it would be too easy if they were actually talking to each other, so neither of them wants to admit it to themselves that they are actually talking too each other. Also Meredith has always been under the impression that Derek was a doctor and even though that Kathleen told her that he wasn't, she doesn't want to believe it. Both of them are so deep in denial, that, that they dismiss the obvious.**** Hence why the previous chapter was called Denial. Anyway here one of them figured it out...Enjoy!**

Back in New York, Meredith decided to have a shower to refresh her before calling the airline and try and change her flight. When she gets out of the shower, she can smell Izzie cooking; there is a knock at the door.

"Mer, are you decent?" Alex asks through the door.

"Hold on, Alex" Meredith quickly pulls on her jeans and a sweatshirt. "You can come in now" Alex opens the door, and walks into her room, with a mug of coffee in his hand.

"Here you go, Mer"

"Thanks Alex. I might be leaving a little earlier than planned"

"Why?"

"Meeting with Serena's new producer, if i can get the red-eye out tonight"

"Okay, I'll let you get hold of the airline, but i want to talk to you before you go, Mer"

"Okay Alex" Alex gives her a kiss on the cheek, before leaving the room. Meredith just quickly tied her hair back has she called the airport, she was on the phone will them for almost an hour, trying to get flights to LA, but not having any luck. The airline promise to call her if they had any cancellation. She decided to go and have some breakfast with her friends before phoning back Mr Shepherd. She knew that she would miss her friends but also knew that this move was going to be good for her, and she was excited. They made small talk before Izzie went to work, Mer promised to let her know if she was leaving early.

"Meredith, what happened last night? You were doing fine and then you seemed upset" Alex asked her

"I bumped into Derek's sister last night"

"Oh"

"Yeah, it just shocked me to my core. I've not seen any of them for so long, that i never thought i would just bump into her. I asked her about Derek, didn't I!" Mer told him, burying her face in her hand.

"What did she say?"

"Everything i hoped she would say, that he missed me, and he still loved me"

"Mer" Alex pulled his chair closer to her, taking her in her arms, Meredith finally letting out all the emotion she kept inside her yesterday, Alex let her cry it out in his arms. After what to Mer seemed like hours when it was only minutes, pulled herself together. She gave Alex a small smile.

"Thanks Alex, i really needed to do that"

"That's okay, Mer" Alex says, has Meredith stands up, she needs to go and make that phone call, just then her phone rings.

"Meredith Grey" she says not bothering to check her caller ID, she hears no-one answering at the end of the phone. Derek is in shock at the other end of the phone, not believing that one person he has wanted to find, was just on the other end of the phone, and that he has spoken to her the day before.

"Hello" Derek pulls himself together, he continued to be professional.

"Ms Grey, it Mr Shepherd"

"Mr Shepherd i was just about to call you back, i have had no luck changing my flight, and I'm waiting for any cancellation, so it could be anytime or not"

"Well, if i give you my cell number, i leave the office at 6. If you give me a call and let me know"

"Okay, Mr Shepherd" she grabs a pen and writes down the number that he has given her. "I've got that, I will be staying at the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel, at least until my apartment is set up. Have you seen Miss Wilson? I haven't heard from her in a couple of days."

"I saw her yesterday morning, when she came in for fitting"

"Okay, thank you Mr Shepherd, hopefully i will see you tomorrow"

"Yes, have a good day Ms Grey, bye" Derek quickly hangs up, Derek can feel a wave of panic, come over him, not believing that the person he has been talking to for over a month, was the love of his life, surely it couldn't be that easy. He was debating whether or not to tell her before she meets him, but he is scared that if he does, she won't come. He remembers how much she avoided him, at first in Cape Cod, all those years ago. For the first time in years, he felt a heavy weight being lifted off him, and when he left his office, Miranda was shocked looked to see him smiling, the sparkle in his eyes had returned, for the first time in the ten years that she had known him, he really smiled, she didn't know what the change was, but he would tell her when he was ready.

"Miranda, I'm going home for the day, so go home to Tucker, and little Tuck, but can you do me a

favour beforehand"

"Of course, Derek"

"Can you call the vineyard and tell them that i won't be up this week, something came up?"

"Yes, Derek"

"Thank you Miranda" Miranda sit at her desk with a look of surprise across her face, Derek had never cancelled going to the vineyard, something was defiantly up with him.

**Meredith will discover the truth in the next update.**


	17. Derek?

**Finally, Meredith discovers who she has spent the last few months talking too. A very shprt update. Enjoy!**

Early that evening, Meredith finally got the call that she had been waiting for all day, the airline finally called her there had been a cancellation on the 10 o clock flight to Los Angeles, Meredith quickly packed the last of her stuff, and Alex and Izzie drove her to the airport. On the way, she called Cristina to say bye, but she was still stuck in surgery, and there would be no way that she would be out before she boarded her plane. Once, she got to the airport, she picked up her ticket, and checked in, she still had an hour until her plane boarded.

She spent 30 minutes saying bye to Alex and Izzie, which was one of the hardest thing she had to do, other than leaving him. As soon as she step through security, her flight was called, Meredith walked every quickly to the gate, and once boarded and sat down, she realised that she hadn't called Mr Shepherd. She got out her cell out, and found his number in the phonebook, she hit the dial button.

Back in LA, it was 1 am, when his cell phone rang, he quickly answered it.

"Derek Shepherd"

"Derek..." Mer says, feeling like the breath had been sucked out of her, it couldn't be, and it was too easy.

"Meredith" Derek said gently, he could hear the surprise in her voice, he wanted to say more, but he knew that she would freak out, so he kept quiet, but could feel his heart skipping a beat or two has he heard her voice on the phone.

"Look i got the red-eye out, get your secretary to call me in the morning with details for lunch"

"Mer..."

"Don't" she said harshly before putting the phone down and switching it off. Meredith sat back in her seat, and closed her eyes, she felt a wave of panic overcome her, she wanted to get off that plane and run, but she knew that she couldn't.

This wasn't about her, it was about her client. She could do this, she got all the contracts out of her briefcase, and started working on her paperwork, still having a bit to do. She knew that has soon has she got to her hotel, she would need to phone the LA office, to tell them she had arrived and try and get hold of Serena. She spent the first hour of her flight catching up on her paperwork, before deciding to try and get some sleep; she knew that she wouldn't be catching much sleep in the morning.

Back to LA, Derek had put the phone down, he felt his heart give a leap, he knew that he needed sleep, but all he wanted was too see her, he was half tempted to go to the airport and met her there, he didn't want to wait till lunchtime, but he also didn't want to scare her, he was hoping that she still felt the same way that he did, he didn't even want to consider the idea that she didn't, he decided to get up on try and focus on some work, he knew that he wouldn't go back to sleep now, with it being 4 in the morning.


	18. Seeing Meredith Again

**Ellie, this is just for you. Meredith and Derek see each other for the first time in fifteen years. Enjoy!**

Mer's plane landed at 8 o clock California time, she had never been to Los Angeles before, she got through customs quickly and once into the terminal, she didn't notice the raven haired man watching her, she took his breath away, and she was even more beautiful than he remembered. Meredith could feel someone' eyes on her, she knew instantly who it was, the way her heart fluttered without turning around, but contemplated running but she knew that it was best to do this now and she wanted to see him too, so she turned and looked straight at him, her green meeting his blue.

He had missed those eyes so much, the green orbs that look straight into his soul, he couldn't read the expression of her face, but he couldn't help but walk towards her, Meredith froze, has Derek approached her. He was more gorgeous than she remembered; she couldn't help but think how his hands had felt roaming over her body, over her naked skin. Memories flooding to the surface, which she had long since buried, only being remembered in her dreams, his blue eyes that could see into her very soul, the eyes that she had missed so much. Before she knew it Derek was stood in front of her, his hand running through her hair, has she reached up and touched his face, he smiled at her, their smile and tilted his head, the way that always sent her weak at the knees, the mcdreamy smile has Cristina used to call it.

"Hey" he said, his eyes searching her's, all they could see in each other's eyes was the love they felt for each other, even more so after fifteen years of being apart.

"Hey" she replied has Derek's lips crashed on her, she parted her lips, giving him entry, has she pulled him close to her, completely forgetting that they are in a crowded airport, all she can think of in that moment is Derek is kissing her. She lets herself go and enjoy the moment, of being kissed with so much love; she hadn't been kissed like that since that last morning. Derek pulls away breathlessly, keeping her close to him, afraid to let her go, he hugs her so tightly , Mer know how much he has missed her, he gently pulls away but still holding onto her, he looks down at her and smiles.

"I've missed you so much Mer" she can feel her heart racing when he calls her Mer; no one has called her that in such a long time. "I'm sorry i probably shouldn't have come but i couldn't wait to see you until lunchtime" Derek said gently, stroking her cheek with his thumb, trying to hide the despair in his voice that she might want to run. Derek touching her leaves her routed to the spot, she couldn't run, even though she wanted too, she has missed his touch so much.

"I'm glad you did, it will make it easier to talk business later" she said, trying to remember exactly why she was here.

"Let me drive you to the hotel, Meredith. I promise i will just drop you off and that's it"

"I don't know, Derek"

"Please Meredith" Derek pleaded with her, not wanting to let her go just yet.

"I can't do this" Meredith said, looking down at her feet, looking anywhere but at Derek.

"Meredith, you don't even have to talk, it will cost you a fortune, to get into Hollywood from here" Derek said to her, even though it wasn't a lie, Derek would have said anything to convince her.

"Okay, but no talking"

"Thank you" Derek says with a smiles before taking her hand, sending a jolt of electricity shooting up her arm, Meredith quickly pulls her hand away, and Derek is disappointed but not surprised.

Derek leads Meredith over to his Lexus, putting her bag in the back, Meredith climbs into the passenger seat, and Derek drives off. Neither of them says anything during the hour it takes them to get to Hollywood, hitting the rush hour traffic. Derek pulls up to Hollywood and Highland, and park outside the Renaissance Hotel, the valet takes his car, and Derek escorts her inside the hotel and into the lobby, once Meredith is checked in, they say bye, and Derek offer to pick her up later for lunch but she tells him she will get a cab. Derek kisses her on the forehead and grabs his arms around her, Meredith rests her head on his shoulder, neither of them wants to leave each other, Meredith was scared of losing that warmth, that only came from Derek. Finally Derek pulls away from her painfully, saying bye.

Derek quickly leaving the hotel before he begs her to let him stay with her, he looks back as he leave the hotel and sees Meredith standing in the same spot, he throw her a smile, and she smiles back before disappearing into the elevator and the door closes.


	19. Dealing with business Pt 1

**This occurs straight after the previous update. Enjoy!**

The bellboy showed her, to her suite, she was amazed at the size of it, she tipped the bellboy, who then left her alone, it was just after 9, she had to meet Derek at one o clock, and she needed to check in with the office, to let them know she had arrived, and that she would pop in after her lunch. She tried to keep him off her mind, but she couldn't, all she could think about was that kiss, how perfect it felt, she wanted to run away, but seeing him just rooted her to the spot, he was all she ever wanted, and she knew that for sure, but right now she didn't want to deal with it. She ran herself a bath, feeling all gritty from the plane, and surprisingly not tired.

Derek got into his car, and drove into the office; once he arrived there, he was surprised to see Miranda.

"Miranda, i thought i told you to take a few days off" Derek said unable to keep the smile off his face, Miranda looked at Derek strangely, shocked to see him smiling for the second day in a row, Derek never smiled, in the 8 years that she had worked for him, she had never seen him look so happy.

"Why are you so happy?" she asked him.

"What am i not allowed to be happy?"

"Of course you are Derek, but i have never seen you so happy"

"Let's just say, i have finally seen what i wanted, and nothing is going to stop me from getting it"

"Well i happy for you"

"Good, now go home"

"Yes Mr Shepherd" bailey said.

"And don't come back until Monday. Do you hear me?" Derek told her, giving her the glare that said don't mess with me.

"Monday, got it. Have a good weekend Derek" Bailey walked out of the office building, Derek popped into his office, got the relevant paperwork that he needed for the next few days, and locked up the office for a long weekend. It had been so long since he had taken a weekend off; he just hoped that he could find a way to get Meredith to spend it with him.

Meredith had just gotten out of the bath, when her cell phone rang, she wandered who it was, she just hoped that it wasn't Derek, and to her surprise she found it was Serena.

"Where the hell have you been Serena?"

"It nice to hear from you too Meredith"

"Serena i have been trying to get hold of you for days"

"Sorry, Meredith, i went to Las Vegas with friends"

"You didn't get married did you?" Meredith held her breath, praying that she didn't.

"No i didn't"

"Thank god, you have some sense. I am in LA now, at the Renaissance Hollywood, we have a premiere tonight, so i need you here in my suite for 4 o clock, is that clear"

"Yes, Meredith"

"Good, i have a meeting with Derek Shepherd this lunchtime and i fill you in when you get here okay?" Meredith tries to ignore how her heart races faster when she says Derek's name.

"Yeah, bye"

"Bye" Meredith hangs up and looks at her watch seeing it now 10 o clock, Meredith decided to look over her paperwork concerning Passions, not really having the time to look at it before. She looks and sees the name Derek Shepherd, and wonders why she had never noticed it before, it had been right in front of her eyes for these past few months. Meredith can feel the tears pricking at her eyes, she goes into her handbag, and pulls out her purse, with a picture of a little boy who has the same piercing blue eyes has his father. Meredith can feel the tears running down her faces, as the sobs overtake her body, she shakes, Meredith pulls her legs up to her chest, and wraps her arms around them, has she rocks back and forth, it is only the ringing of her cell phone, that pulls her together, it gets up and looked at the caller ID and see that it is Alex, she realised that she has forgotten to call him, and let him know that she had arrived.

"Alex, i am so sorry" he said as soon as she answered the phone.

"I should hope so, i have been worrying"

"I'm sorry" Alex can hear that she had been crying.

"Meredith, what wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Meredith, you have been crying, and don't tell me you are fine"

"Okay, i am not, but i don't want to talk about, at least not yet"

"Okay, I'll let it drop for now, Meredith"

"Thank you Alex, look i have a business meeting with Serena's new producer in a couple of hours, so i need to sort myself out. Tell Iz that i will call her tomorrow, with the gossip from the premiere tonight"

"Have fun tonight, Meredith, god know you deserve it"

"Thanks Alex, bye" Meredith rung up the phone, and went to grab her suitcase, and digs out a black pencil skirt, and a top, taking her time dressing, since she still had several hours before meeting Derek, she made sure that it wore her hair down in waves, remembering that Derek always like her hair like that and applying at little make up, Meredith never wore much, she still had to call the limousine company and the hair stylist for tonight.

Derek went home and had a shower before his lunch date with Meredith; he got a cab down to the restaurant, deciding to leave his car at home. He arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes early, he decided to have a scotch to help to calm his nerves, even though he had only seen her this morning, she could help but feel nervous, it had a lot to prove to her he knew that, but he just hoped that she would allow him. Derek had to attend a premiere that night, which he was not looking forward to, he hated those things, but he knew that his new show relied on the exposure. He had asked Addison to come with him, like she generally did, if she didn't have a surgery, he was glad that Addison had always accompanied him to them, it saved a lot of questions from the media since it was a regular thing.

Once Derek had got out of the showers, he dug out khaki trousers and a white shirt, remembering how Meredith had liked him dressed like that, before calling a cab.


	20. Dealing with business Pt 2

**Just so you know I have been to LA and stayed in Hollywood for a vacation 3 years ago, so some of this I know first-hand. Meredith's hotel is literally right next door to the Gruman's Chinese Theatr which is where they hold most of the premières, I actually got to see a movie in there and it is so cool. Anyway back to the story. Enjoy!**

Derek was sat in the Ivy, glancing at his watch, Meredith was now fifteen minutes late, and Derek was starting to get worried, he remembered that Meredith never like to be late, if she could help it he had ordered himself another drink of scotch, before pulling out his cell phone and calling Meredith's number, but there was no answer, has he hung up, Meredith rushes through the door, before spotting him, and walking over to him.

"I'm so sorry I'm late Mr Shepherd, i had some business to deal with and it over ran"

"It's Derek, Meredith you know that"

"This is a business meeting, Derek, we should stay professional"

"I always call my business contacts by their first name, Meredith" Derek motions her to sit down, which she does. "Would you like a drink Meredith?" Derek can't stop saying her name, remembering how good it feels to have her name rolling off his tongue.

"Just water for me please Derek" Derek motions to the waiter and he comes over and takes the order before leaving them alone. A cell phone goes off, and Meredith rummages through her bag, before pulling it out.

"Two seconds please Derek" she says flashing him and a smile and answering the phone.

"Iz, i am in a meeting, I'll call you back later" Mer says before hanging up.

"How is everyone?"

"They are all fine, Izzie and Alex are married, and Cristina works at Mount Sinai, in cardio thoratics. How is Mark?"

"Mark is still Mark, but he is married now"

"Mark married that is surprising" Meredith was a little shocked.

"I know, he and Addison have been married for two years. Mark is in plastics and Addie is a OB/GYN"

"Addison isn't that you're..."

"Yeah but that was a incredibly long time ago, Mer" Derek says gently, locking his eyes on her's, getting lost in each other gaze, until Meredith looks away, she doesn't want Derek to see how much he still effects her, she pulls herself together, before looking back at Derek.

"So, Derek, what exactly was it you wanted to discuss with me" Meredith says with a professional tone, and just has Derek is about to reply a waiter comes over and takes their order. Over the next hour they discussed Passions, and the concept of the show, which Meredith noted was familiar to her, and Serena's role on the show. After they had finished lunch, Derek asked Meredith, if she fancied joining him for a couple of drinks.

"I don't know Derek; i have a stylist coming in at 4"

"Meredith, it only 2 o clock, please, i will drop you back to your hotel"

"Derek, i really don't..."

"Meredith, we have fifteen years to catch up"

"Derek, i am your client's agent that is it"

"Meredith, you are a lot more than that to me and you know it"

"Derek, i can't do this" Meredith looks down at her hand and start playing with them, has their waiter come over with their bill. Meredith gets her purse out and settles half of the bill and before Derek can react, she stands up and grabs her stuff.

"Derek i can't, it was nice to see you again, and we will probably see each other around every so often, bye" Meredith holds her hand out, Derek takes it, and rubs her hand with his thumb. He releases her hand, and once again she is gone.

Later that day, Meredith was putting the final touches to her dress on; she was still waiting on Serena, after leaving her hundred of missed call, when there was a knock on her suite door.

"It's open" Serena walks into the suite.

"Meredith i am sorry"

"Wow, you look stunning Meredith"

"Where the hell have you been?" Meredith is seething with her.

"You don't want to know"

"You better not be mixed up in anything bad, Serena, because you will destroy everything that you have built up in your career"

"Meredith, i promise, i have my dress, can i borrow your make up please"

"It's in the bathroom"

"Thanks, Meredith" Serena went into the bathroom, and emerged ten minutes later, all dressed and with make up on.

"How do i look Meredith?"

"You look beautiful Serena, now shall we go down to the hotel bar, and have a few drinks before the limo get here"

"The theatre is only next door"

"I know that Serena, but you don't walk to a red carpet event do you?"

"I suppose not"

"No, it will pick us up in fifteen minutes and drive around the block before going to the theatre"

"Okay" Meredith grabs her bag, and hotel room key, before exiting the room.


	21. Goodbye

**Before you get confused, Meredith and Addison never actually met before, they both know who each other are. Enjoy!**

The limo drove around the block for several minutes before pulling up outside the Chinese Theatre, Meredith squeezed Serena hand.

"You ready for this"

"As ready has i will ever be" Serena said to her, has a valet opened the door of the limo.

"Just remember to smile, Serena" Meredith said to her, before she climbing out of the limo.

"Okay" Serena climbs out of the car, with Meredith behind her, Serena grabs Meredith hand for reassurance, Meredith says to her quietly over the noise.

"Serena, you need to give a little wave to the fans, and then talk to ENews!, Ryan Seacrest is over there, he will interview you"

"What do i say?"

"Just calm down Serena, i faxed him yesterday with a list of questions, he understand that this is first time, so it will be fine" she says to her as they walk up the red carpet.

"Serena" they hear Ryan saying, Meredith nods to her, while she waits off at the side. Just then Meredith sees Derek climbing out of a limo, followed by Addison.

Derek can feel her presence there, it had always unnerved him how he knew when she was close, he turned and their eyes met. Derek was instantly frozen to the spot, he had never seen her looking so beautiful as she did in that moment. Derek completely forgot about Addison, and even where he was, until a reporter stopped him for an interview, he gave them a brief interview, giving Addison a chance to catch up on him. After he finishes his interview, he turns to the spot where Meredith was stood before, but she is gone. Addison links her arm through his, guiding him to the entrance of the theatre.

"What was that about Derek?"

"I saw Meredith"

"Derek, you didn't. You haven't seen Meredith in fifteen years" Addison says gently, and then Derek remembered that he hadn't told Addison and Mark about Meredith being in Los Angeles. He would see her inside, he knew and then Addison could see that she was here.

Meredith introduced Serena to a few producers, and director, that she had been in talks with for the past few month, she saw Derek walk into the lobby, with Addison. Meredith quickly made her excuse and went to the bathroom before he could spot her. She was relieved to find it empty, she stared at herself in the mirror, and she knew that she would see him here tonight. When she saw him get out of that limo, he took her breath away; he still had that effect on her, where he made her knees go weak. Meredith knew without a doubt that she was still in love with him, even more so after fifteen years, she rooted in her purse and pulled out the one thing she constantly carried on her, a picture of their son.

"Hey baby, your daddy's here, i am so sorry you never got to meet him, i was selfish, keeping it from him, but i can't tell him, i don't want him to hate me, i couldn't bear that. I do know one thing that he would have loved you, for the little time you were here with me. Mommy better get back out there, i love you Liam" Meredith can feel the tears prickling her eyes, she wills them back, pulls herself together, before heading back out there, she didn't want to leave Serena out there on her own, has she walk out, she saw Serena talking to the one person that she wanted to avoid, but she knew that she had no chance, she walked over to them.

"Nice to see you again Mr Shepherd" Meredith say holding out her hand, Derek can tell she doesn't want her client to know about their past.

"Thanks for lunch this afternoon, Miss Grey"

"Meredith please"

"Derek" either of them notice that Addison's jaw has dropped at the sight of Meredith, and Serena watching them with interest, noticing the sparks between them. Derek remembers who is with them.

"Addison, i would like you to meet Meredith Grey, Serena's agent. Meredith, this is Addison Montgomery-Sloan, a friend of mine"

"Friend?" Mer says curiously, just playing along with the ruse, but knowing that they are both failing miserable.

"Addison is married to my best friend Mark, who is a plastic surgeon; she accompanies me to most of these events" Derek knew that he told Meredith that Mark was married to her.

"Well, it is nice to meet you Addison"

"You too, Meredith" Addison stutters out, shaking her hand, she is still in shock that after all these years Meredith is actually here, she could see that Derek wasn't shocked to see her which meant that he knew that she was here. She reminded herself to have a talk about it with him later about it. Just then an usher announced that the film was going to start in fifteen minutes and that everyone should take their seats. Meredith turns to Serena and asks her if she is ready to go in, and they say bye to Derek and Addison. Serena looks at Meredith curiously, and Meredith catches her in the corner of her eye.

"Serena?"

"Nothing Meredith, let's find our seats" Serena walks ahead of her, Meredith follows, Serena waves to her over when she finds them. To Meredith surprise she is sat next to Derek, who flashes her his smile.

"Look like we are neighbours, Meredith"

"It certainly does" Meredith says sitting down next to him.

"Meredith, we really need to talk sometime" Derek says quietly. Meredith takes in what he just said, knowing that he is right.

"I know Derek, but it is easier said than done" Derek places his hand over her's. She had feel the sparks between them, and she want to jump him right there and then, to show him and everyone else how much she loves in.

"Meredith, i love you" Meredith looks at him in shock, deep down she knows that he does but to hear him say it for the first time in so long, her heart skips a beat and she can feel her breath hitch in her throat, she wants to tell him that she feel the same but she can't. Just then, the film comes on, distracting them all, which Meredith is relieved, she turned her attention to the screen. During the film she can feel Derek hand on her and no matter how hard she wants to pull away she finds that she can't.

Once the film has ended she makes her excuse to Derek, before following Serena out of the cinema, Derek manages to catch up with them and grab Meredith arm before he lost sight of her.

"Derek, what the hell are you doing?"

"Meredith, come for a drink with me?"

"Derek that is not a good idea"

"Why not?"

"Because it isn't"

"That is not an excuse Meredith and you know it" Derek can feel himself getting angry, he doesn't understand why she is being so stubborn about this.

"Goodbye, Derek" Derek watches her go, frozen to the spot, they never even said goodbye, when they left each other all those years ago, and Derek isn't about to say to goodbye now.


	22. Old friends

**Enjoy!**

A month had passed since Derek had last seen Meredith, he was still hoping onto hope, he had never given up on that they would one day find each other, now that she was here in LA, and he knew that he would eventually bump into her. They had started filming Passions two weeks before, and he was hoping that Meredith would come by to see Serena, but so far no such luck. Even Serena had barely heard from her this past month, which was a little unusual but she knew that Meredith was struggling with something to do with Derek, but she wasn't about to tell him that, Meredith had made her promise not to mention her to him, so she kept quiet.

Meredith was sat in her office, just staring out the window, for the past month, her mind had been on Derek constantly, she really wanted to tell him, but something stopped her. She had flown back to Boston, the previous week, and stopped off at Liam's grave, it was the anniversary, and she wanted to find some solace, but it just reminded her how much she had lost. The day Liam had been born was the greatest day of her life, he had the same blue eyes has his daddy. Meredith had never believed that she could love someone the way she had loved Derek, but holding their little boy in her arms, she loved him more than anything.

Just after Liam died she found herself driving past Derek's parent's house, she saw him playing with a little girl just a little older than Liam, she watched him for a few minutes, with tears in her eyes, wandering that if things had been different, if their son would still be with them. Derek turned and looked straight at her, their eyes met, and she noticed Derek walking forward her, she had quickly hit the accelerator; she couldn't face him, not when her emotions were so raw. Meredith could feel the tears running down her face, and someone wrapping their arms around her.

"Its okay, Meredith" Izzie says to her gently, recognising the agony in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Iz" Meredith sobbed in her best friend arms.

"It fine, you thinking about Liam"

"Yep" Iz just lets Meredith cry it out, knowing how hard it was for her, when Meredith started drying her eyes, and gave Izzie a small, sad smile.

"You ready to go out for lunch" Izzie asked her.

"I am, where we going" Meredith asked.

"Chateau Marmont, have you been there yet?"

"Nope"

"Well Alex and Cristina are waiting for us there" Meredith gathers her stuff together and follows Izzie out of the office and out into the LA sunshine.

Derek had a tough week of filming, they were only two weeks into the shoot and they were already running behind schedule, and when the lights had decided to break in the studio that morning, and Derek was at the end of his tether, he had spent most of his morning, yelling down the phone at the studio executive Richard Webber. So, he decided to treat the cast and crew, to lunch at Chateau Marmont, since that week they had gone from one disaster to another. Derek had sent them all in a limo to Marmont, ahead of him, while he tried to get hold of Mark and see if he wanted to join them, he was hoping that he wasn't in surgery.

"Sloan"

"Mark, it's me"

"Shep"

"Do you fancy joining me for lunch?"

"Just us"

"I decided to take the cast and crew out, we have had a dreadful week, and i think we could do with it"

"Give me an hour and I'll meet you there, bye" Mark says and with that hangs up.

Meredith and Izzie walked into the Chateau Marmont, and Alex waves at them, and pulls her into his arms and kissing her head.

"How you doing today Meredith?"

"Not so good, Alex"

"Cris"Meredith greet her person.

"Meredith, I've been worried"

"You've been worried about me, Cris. Now that surprising" Meredith said feigning shock.

"I'm not a total cold hearted bitch" Cris told her.

"I know that Cris" Meredith says looking over the menu.

"Meredith" Serena says. Meredith looks up a little surprised to see her; she hasn't seen her in two weeks.

"Serena, sorry I've not been in contact i had a few thing going on"

"That okay Meredith"

"Sit down for a moment Serena" Meredith moves up the booth so that Serena can sit next to her. "How's filming being going?"

"I am really enjoying it, i forgot how long the days were though and we have had a few problems on set this week"

"Nothing bad i hope"

"Just a few setbacks, the light decided to break down on us today, so Mr Shepherd said that he would take us all out to lunch"

"Derek" Meredith says quietly, but loud enough for Cris, Alex and Izzie to hear, Meredith hadn't told them that she had seen him, just then she heard someone clear the throat and immediately know who it is how her heart races. She looks over to her friends and can see the shock on all of their faces.

"Meredith, how are you?" Derek asked her, not taking notice of anyone else at the table, as usual Derek has eyes only for Meredith.

"I am fine thanks Derek" Meredith replies avoiding eye contact with him.

"Cristina, Alex, Izzie" Derek greets them, only Izzie bothers to reply.

"Hey Derek, how are you?" Izzie kicks Alex under the table.

"Ouch" Alex says and Izzie glares at him but Alex ignores his wife.

"I'm not too bad thanks Izzie. Serena you ready to join us?"

"I'll be there in a moment, sir"

"Okay don't be long. Bye Meredith" Derek says walking to join the rest of the cast and crew.

"Meredith, i don't know what is going on between you and Derek but he has been really down this past month" Serena tells her quietly.

"Serena, it really none of your business, it is between Derek and me. I know you care, but it will be fine, okay"

"Okay. I see you later Meredith" Meredith notices Cristina, Alex and Izzie watching her.

"What?"

"You never told us, that you had seen Derek" Alex says gently, knowing that Derek has always been Meredith's sore subject.

"It doesn't matter i haven't seen him in over month"

"You still love him" Izzie observes, watching Meredith face very closely.

"Yeah i do" Meredith says, she doesn't bother denying it, she knows there is no point, she looks over at Derek from the corner of her eye, seeing him laughing at something someone was saying to him.

"Have you told him about Liam?" Alex asks.

"Nope, i have spent the past month avoiding him" Meredith told him.

"What are you scared off, Meredith" Izzie asks.

"I don't want him to hate me" Meredith said quietly, sneaking a quick glance over at Derek.

"Meredith, he won't hate you, he can't take his eyes of you, and he has been watching you ever since he came in"

"I just don't know what to do" Meredith says quietly, staring at her hands.

"Talk to him, he might be angry at first, but he loves you"

"Talk to him" Meredith murmurs, looking over at Derek, who is looking at her back, flashing her a smile. Meredith smiles back, before looking back at her table, and her friends, she knows that Izzie is right, she does need to talk to him; Meredith closes her eyes, knowing it is now or never, she gets up, and walks over to the bar, knowing that Derek will join her up there. She orders herself a tequila shot, a bit of Dutch courage, when she hears his voice behind her.

"Hitting the hard stuff a bit early aren't we?" Derek whispers in her ear, feeling his breath on her neck.

"It been a hard couple of weeks" Mer admits to him.

"It sure has, do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now, but Derek..." Meredith pauses; Derek watches her knowing not to interrupt her. "Weneedtotalk?" Meredith says very quickly.

"Excuse me, Mer"

"We need to talk, Derek"

"We do, Meredith, I missed you"

"I've missed you too, I have a full diary this week, but how about next week"

"Meredith, how about next Saturday maybe evening go out for some food"

"That should be fine, but i would rather do it in private, away from any cameras"

"how about coming to mine, and I can cook"

"I can't cook, so probably a good idea"

"I can pick you up..." Derek started before Meredith stopped him.

"I would rather you didn't Derek, give me your address and I'll get a cab" Meredith says to him, making eye contact with him for the first time since he spoken to her at the bar. Derek scribbles his address down on the back of a business card, neither of them see Mark watching them, he was shocked to see her standing there talking to Derek, Addison had told him that she was back, but couldn't believe it unless he saw her with his own eyes. Mark cautiously approaches them at the bar.

"Shep" Derek turns round to look at him.

"Mark, you remember Meredith don't you?"

"You know i do" Mark says, not able to keep the contempt for her out of his voice. "Meredith. I could say it nice to see you but..."

"Mark" Derek says sharply.

"Derek, it fine..." Mer says quickly.

"No, it is not Meredith"

"Derek, he is your friend, i am the bitch who broke your heart"

"Meredith, don't talk about yourself like that"

"Derek...stop...we are both very different people than the one's that were in love all those years ago. I need to get back to Cris, Alex and Iz, i will see you next Saturday, about 7. Bye Mark" Meredith walks over to her friends, while Derek shoots Mark a filthy look.

"What the hell was that, Mark" Derek says angrily.

"Derek, that woman broke your heart, from which you have never recovered"

"I love her Mark and you know it, if there is a way to work something out, than i am going to try. So, you can either put your feelings about her aside, or just go now" Derek walks away leaving Mark standing at the bar.


	23. Getting Ready

**What happened to Liam and Derek daughter with his ex Carole, will be revealed in the next couple of updates. Enjoy!**

A week had passed and tonight was the night that they were going to talk about everything, Meredith had finally agree to give Derek her number two days after they saw each other at Chateau Marmont, and she had given in and agreed to be friends. They talked almost every day, about their prospective days, they had both realised after that day at the bar, that they would always be cursed with loving each other, whether they were together or not. Meredith wasn't ready for it to turn into a relationship yet, there was so much that they needed to discuss, and the biggest thing for her, was their baby. She had avoided asking Derek about his daughter with his ex, she knew that he had stayed single like her, while they were apart, he admitted that to her when they spoke the previous night. Meredith would be lying if she said that it didn't make her happy that he had waited for her, but she also felt that little bit guilty. Meredith was at her apartment, having moved in only two weeks before. She had booked a cab for 8 o clock, even though Derek had offered to pick her up, she wasn't ready for him to come into the apartment yet, she needed to tell him about Liam first, since the apartment was covered in photos of Liam.

Meredith went through her post, while waiting for her bath to run, mainly bills until comes across a letter to her from her mother. She had wandered where her mother had gotten her address from, they didn't have a good relationship. Then, remembered that she probably had gotten it from Cris, she went to open it just has her cell rang.

"Cris, did you give my mother my address?" she greeted her person.

"Well, hello to you too"

"Cristina?"

"No i didn't i wouldn't do that Meredith"

"I know you wouldn't, how is the witch?"

"The same, except..."

"Except what?"

"Something is not right with her"

"What do you been, she is the great Ellis Grey, remember"

"Well, i watched one of her surgeries, and she had forgotten how to do a craniotomy"

"That an easy procedure"

"I know, i just thought i would let you know"

"Thanks Cris, i will try and come out soon, okay. Just keep on eye on her for me, as much as you can"

"You want me to babysit your mother"

"I am hanging up now; speak to you in a few days"

"Dinner with Derek"

"It's nothing like that, we are friends"

"Meredith, you and Derek will never be friends, i swear the only people that don't how much Derek loves you is you and Derek"

"Cris, don't"

"Have fun, be safe" Cristina hangs up, Meredith chuckles at her last comment, knowing how untrue that is.

Meredith had just gotten out of the bath, when her cell phone rang again, and this time it was Derek.

"Hey"

"You sound breathless"

"I have just gotten out of the bath"

"That brings back some memories Mer"

"Derek" Meredith says with a warning tone in her voice.

"Sorry"

"What you ringing for?"

"I want to talk to you"

"Derek i am coming over to your place in an hour"

"I know but I wanted to hear your voice" Derek said just has there is a knock on her apartment door.

"Open the door Mer" Meredith quickly looks around her apartment, knowing that she needs to take down those photos but she knows that she hasn't got the time, she hangs up the phone and takes a deep breath before opening the door, it is a man holding a huge bunch of flowers.

"Meredith Grey?"

"Yep that me"

"these are for you" Meredith takes the flowers, she can smell the lavender coming from the bouquet, Meredith gave him a tip

"Derek, they were beautiful, but how did you get my address"

"I asked Serena to order them for me" She smiled to herself, not believing that he remembered that she had loved lavender for all these years.

"I love them, thanks Derek"

"Good, i am glad; finding flowers with lavender in is not easy"

"Thank you"

"My pleasure, Mer. I will see you in an hour"

"Bye"

"I love you" Derek hangs up, leaving Meredith to ponder over what he can't, she know that she loves him too, but she needs to get through this evening first. Meredith walked into her bedroom and closed the door behind her.

-------------------------------------------------


	24. The DateTalk Pt 1

**This is part one of the talk, I have had to divide it into two parts and they are both quite long. Some of your question should be answered in the course of these two updates. Enjoy!**

Meredith arrived at Derek and he was standing outside on his porch to meet her, Meredith paid the driver and climbs out, and Derek walked over to her and pulled her in for a hug.

"You look beautiful, Mer"

"Just wearing something comfortable"

"Meredith, you could be wearing a black bag, and you would still be incredibly gorgeous to me" Meredith blushes at his comment, he puts his arm around her shoulders and lead her into the house. he showed her around, Meredith can't believe how well that he has done for himself.

"This is the living room"

"It nice and spacious Derek"

"Come on I've got the rest of the house to show you" Derek shows her the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, and finally the back of the house, before leading her back into the kitchen.

"Derek the house is beautiful"

"Thank you Meredith, unfortunately it feels a little empty sometimes"

"So no, girlfriend living with you?"

"No, only my daughter when she stays with me" Meredith can feel her heart skip a beat. Derek does over and stirs the food that he is cooking.

"How long have you live here?"

"I had the place for 5 year, but only moved here permanently about two years ago"

"How come?"

"We are full of question tonight, Mer"

"Derek we haven't seen each other in fifteen years" Derek is standing right beside her, he carcasses her cheek with this thumb.

"I love the questioning Mer, but it just small talk, trying to hide the real reason why you are here" Meredith looks at him squarely in the eyes, but finds herself getting lost in them, before she knows it, his lips her on her, exploring her mouth, she wants to pull away but finds that she can't. She wraps her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, Derek moves down to her neck to the spot that always turned her on. Meredith finds herself being swept up in the moment, she can feel herself getting wet, and for one moment everything is blurred, until in Meredith mind one picture flashes a picture of their son, she remembers why she is here.

"Derek"

"Mer, I love you so much" Derek says continuing to attack her neck.

"Stop...please stop...Derek" she begs, Derek instantly stops.

"What wrong, Mer?" Meredith slides off the stool and walk over to the windows, looking out of them.

"I can't, we really need to talk, and there is something important that I need to tell you"

"Are you married?"

"No"

"Engaged, seeing someone" Derek feels his heart sink.

"Nothing like that Derek" Meredith said walking forward the patio windows, looking out over the pool

"Then, what" Derek walks behind her wrapping his arms around her waist. Meredith looks out of the windows and closes her eyes, leaning back into Derek's embrace, she says nothing for a few minutes; she can feel him, telling her that it would be okay, Meredith feels a sense of peace overcoming her that she hadn't felt in fifteen years.

"Derek" Meredith turns and faces him, Derek let her go and smiles at her gently sensing this is not the time to interrupt her. "I am so sorry, I kept this a secret because I didn't want to make you choose between me and Carole, when I asked you that day, to promise me that you would let me go at the end of summer, I already knew. I couldn't let you choose between our baby and hers.

"Mer, what..." Mer puts her finger against his lip, motioning him to be quiet.

"When you left, I was pregnant Derek" Derek stands there staring at her, and after a few second he walks away from her and start pacing the kitchen. Meredith watches him, not saying anything. It continued on like this for a few minutes, until Derek stopped right in front of her.

"What did we have Mer?"

"A little boy, I called him Liam"

"We have a son, Mer" Meredith notices Derek face little up, she know she is just about to wipe that smile of his face, and she isn't sure that she could do it. "Where is he, Mer? He obviously isn't with you" Meredith can feel the tears, and she starts sobbing, Derek puts his arms her, and she cries into his chest. She knows that she needs to pull herself together, and tell him. Meredith wipes her eyes and walks away from Derek, she can't look at him, she continues to stare out of the window.

"Liam... died when he was eight months old, Derek" Meredith turns to face him, she can see the look on his face, and it scares her, she realise in that moment that she could now lose everything that had she held on and kept her going for these past fifteen years.

"Maybe, I should go, Derek" Mer starts to walk into the living room and gathering up her things, she can feel the tears in her eyes, it was the hardest thing she ever had to do, Derek came into the living room and reached out and grabs her arm.

"Please don't leave Meredith" Derek begged her

"Derek, I cause you nothing but heartache" Meredith said looking anywhere but at him.

"Meredith stop. Just give me time to process this, stay where you are and will be back, please don't leave" Derek asks her, Meredith nods her head, watching Derek slip out of the patio door and look over the views of the Hollywood Hills deep in thought.

Derek can't help but be angry at her, she could have told him, but one look in Meredith eyes and seeing the pain in them, he can't be mad at her. In a way, he was proud of her, that she dealt with it on her own, but he also knew that she was used to dealing with things on her own. Derek felt guilty he should have fought harder with her, not to cut him out of her life. He wanted to scream at her but he couldn't. Seeing the pain and sadness in her eyes when she told him their baby had died, made him want to hug her. He wanted to be mad and never talk to her or see her ever again, but he couldn't. He looked back through the patio door and could see her hunched over, the way she did when she was upset. Seeing her in the moment made any anger he felt towards her dissipate. He walked in the living room, and over to her, gathering her in his arms has they both cried over the loss of their son. Derek had always wished that his daughter was his and Meredith's, and to discover they had a child together made him happy, despite of the tragedy that happened. They stayed there in each other arms for over an hour before Derek could smell burning coming from the kitchen, he quickly unwrapped himself from Meredith and ran into the kitchen. Meredith follows him in also smelling the burning, and watching Derek, quickly ditching their dinner into the sink. Derek turned around and smiled at her.

"I guess we are having pizza tonight"

"My favourite"

"I remember" Derek said walking over to her, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the living room, and they sit down on the sofa together. Derek turned to Meredith and said to her.

"Tell me about our son"

"Are you sure?"

"I want to know our little boy, Mer"

"Okay"

"What happened Meredith, the day he died" Derek asks her, Meredith closes her eyes for a few seconds before answering him, when she opened them, Derek could see the tears forming, has she starts to speak.

"I woke up in the middle of the night, and checked on him, like I always did, he slept in the same room has me, he was in the cot, lifeless, I tried CPR, and when we arrived at the hospital, they pronounced him, that was the day my life fell apart"

"Was it Sudden Infant Death Syndrome?"

"Yeah, I couldn't keep our son safe, Derek, I am so sorry" Meredith buries her head in his chest.

"Stop, Mer, you know that statistics and perfectly well that it is not your fault"

"Isn't it, it my punishment of keeping him away from you"

"Meredith, don't think like that. What did you mean by that was when your life fell apart?" Derek says curiously.

"I quit school, and moved to New York, started drinking even taking drugs sometimes it wasn't pretty. Luckily I had Cristina, Izzie and Alex, they found me, a year later, they had just finished pre-mes, and had spent the past year looking for me, and eventually they found me living out of my car. The thing is Derek, I didn't care, I had lost the only two people that I have ever loved and, nothing mattered to me any more" Meredith knew that she had to be honest with him.

"Meredith, I am so sorry I wasn't there" Derek told her, holding her close.

"Don't Derek, I made the choice not to tell you, so don't say you are sorry, you didn't know" Meredith couldn't bear the thought that he would feel guilty, when it was her choice.

"I should have fought harder for you" he told her, Meredith shook her head.

"Derek I wouldn't have let you, after you told me about Carole I made my choice, and I was willing to live by it, even if you wouldn't. I loved you that much, that I was willing to sacrifice my happiness so you would be a proper father to your child"

"But what about our son Mer?"

"He had me, and I always told Liam; how much you loved him, knowing that you would, I would have found a way to tell you eventually"

"When?"

"I don't know, Derek" Meredith says with sorrow in her tone, Derek nods.

"Tell me about him, Meredith" Meredith grabs her bag, and pulls out an envelope, and gives it to Derek.

"This is a photo book of his life Derek, after Liam died; I had one made for myself and for you, if we were to ever see each other"

"Thank you Meredith, I want to know everything"

"Everything! tonight?"

"It Sunday tomorrow I am not working, are you?"

"I am always working Derek, but I don't have to go into the office"

"Good, than we have plenty of time" Derek says, has Meredith tell him about the day, their little boy was born.

"Liam Christopher Shepherd was born April 14 1994, weighing 8lb 6oz in Mass Gen, he had your eyes, he was the spitting image of you Derek, I had Izzie and Cristina my by side. He was a quiet child, he had this little cry, it wasn't loud or demanding, he adored Izzie, Alex and even Cristina"

"Cris, got all gooey over a baby" Derek says with surprise, knowing how hardcore Cristina had always been.

"Yeah she did, but she would never admit it Derek, she is a hardcore surgeon after all"

"I think I feel sorry for her patients" Derek said lightly causing Meredith to giggle.

"Well, she doesn't have the greatest bedside manner. What made you decided not to go into surgery, you wanted to be a surgeon?" she wanted to know.

"I did, I started my intern year but half way through the year, Carole became ill, and i had to look after my daughter"

"Is that her up there" Meredith stand up and walks over to the photo of Derek and a girl about 14 or 15.

"Yep"

"She is beautiful Derek, looks like you"

"She does, doesn't she" Meredith watches Derek eyes light up when talking about his daughter, and she knows that she had made the right decision. "What's her name?" Derek hesitates for just a second.

"Meredith Ellen"

"Excuse me" Mer is a little shocked.

"When I came back to New York, I wanted a part of you with me, and I insisted that I want my daughter, named Meredith, Carole never knew why, I wasn't ready to share you with her and a part of me wanted her to be ours, you're not mad are you?"

"No, just a little surprised, I can't believe you did that"

"well, I missed you"

"I need to order in a pizza, anything specific" Derek asked, Meredith shook her head and Derek left her alone in the living room.


	25. The Talk Pt 2

**The second part is long to, they come to ten pages all together. Enjoy!**

Meredith looks around his living room until her eyes settled on the picture of the two of them, the same photo that he had given her on that last day, she knew that she had kept that photo all this time, but she was surprised that he did, she put the frame back to where it was, just has the phone rang, which made her jump.

"Meredith, can you answer that for me, please?" Derek shouts from the kitchen.

"Sure" she shouts back. "Hello"

"Hi, who is this?" she hears a young girl on the phone.

"I'm Meredith, a friend of Derek's"

"Meredith...oh god, you're Meredith Grey are you?" Mer is a little surprised that someone would know who she was.

"Yeah"

"Dad, never said that you two were back in contact"

"Dad? Oh god...your Derek's daughter"

"yeah, i'm Ellen, Meredith. Dad has always spoken about you, I feel like I have known you for years and he said that he hoped one day i would meet you" Ellen rambled out.

"Just one question you dad said that your name was Meredith"

"It is but I have always liked to be called Ellen or Elle"

"Okay. Do you want to speak him?"

"Yeah please, Nice talking to you Meredith"

"You too, I'll pass you over to your dad" Meredith passes the phone to Derek, before walking into the kitchen, she notices the glasses of wine that Derek had poured out for them, she started sipping on her wine.

Meredith sat down at the breakfast bar, after talking to her namesake, she couldn't help but think about Liam, knowing that he would be the same age, only a couple of months younger, it brought tears to her eyes, Meredith couldn't stop herself from crying, she felt Derek's arms going around her, Derek turned her to face him, has Meredith buried her face in his chest, and cried, Derek smoothed down her hair, planted little kisses on the top of her head, letting her cry it out. He hated seeing her upset, he just wished that he could take the pain away but knows that he can't. Meredith stoped crying, but doesn't move from the spot and Derek has no desire to make her, Derek never wants to let her go and Meredith just wants to stay in his arms, where she feels safe, the first time she has felt safe and completely happy in the past fifteen years.

"Derek" Meredith in a whisper that Derek had only just heard.

"Yeah?"

"I am so sorry, i didn't want to be like this tonight, but talking to your daughter, our son would have been the same age"

"They could have grown up together, that would have been nice, Mer"

"I am so sorry, for making you go to back to her, i should have told you that last day about me being pregnant, and do you know that last day my resolve for leaving you was breaking, i almost said i was staying with you"

"Why didn't you?" Derek says gently.

"I was scared, Derek. My feelings for you scared me, i never believed in love Derek, not until you came along"

"Meredith, i wish you had"

"So do i"

"I waited so long for you, Mer" Derek says cupping her chin, making her look at him. "I never got back with Carole, she wasn't you. No one is you"

"No one is you either; there has never been anyone else"

"Why don't we give this a go Meredith" Derek approached it gently with her.

"I don't know, Derek. So much has happened and it was such a long time ago"

"Mer, i loved you so much back then, and i am still in love with you, i have never stopped. I'm not saying marry me or move in with me, but please give us a chance, give a chance to become the couple that we could have been fifteen years ago" Derek pleads with her. "Please give us a chance?" Derek rubs his thumb over her cheek, Meredith looks at him, and knows that she wants this as much as he does, maybe it time to stop being scared and embraces, Meredith reaches up and kisses him gently on the lips, not a kiss full of passion but one of love and promises.

"Okay" Meredith says slightly pulling away from him. Derek leans down, and captures her lips with his own, running his tongue over her lips, his tongue begging for entry, which Meredith gladly gave. As they explored each other mouth, their tongues wrestling for control, as the kiss deepens. Meredith runs her hands up, and down his back, feeling his well defined muscles in his back, Derek pushes Meredith close to him, running his hands up and down her sides, over her stomach that once housed their baby, they both pull away slightly to come up for some air.

"I love you Mer, always have"

"I love you too" Meredith says smiling at him. Derek communication system go off, Derek smiles and kisses Meredith lightly on the lips before going to answer it. Meredith cell goes off at that moment, and seeing that it is her mother, she groans, just has Derek walks in with their pizza, Meredith rejects the call and turns her phone off, not wanting to deal with her mother right now.

"Who was that?" Derek asks.

"No-one important. Is that our pizza?"

"Yep"

"Good i am starved" Derek laughs lightly remember what Meredith appetite was like. They sat and eat their pizza in silence, just stealing little glances at each other, when thinking the other person wasn't looking until the catch each other at the same time.

"You keep looking at me, Derek"

"So do you, you keep looking at me"

"I can't help it, i can't believe that i am here with you"

"Neither can i , Mer" Derek looks away for just a second, trying to muster the strength to ask

her something, he looks back to find Meredith sat right next to him, leaning into him, with her head on his shoulder.

"I suppose i should get going home soon, it late" Meredith says, not wanting to leave.

"Do you want to go home?"

"No, i don't" Meredith admitted, not wanting to leave him, not when they had just sorted a few things out.

"Stay with me" Derek asked, watching her closely.

"I...no...don't..." Derek kisses her to stop her mini ramble.

"I am not asking you to sleep with me, well i am, but i promise i won't try anything on, i just want to hold you in my arms tonight, please" Meredith wants to just as much as Derek wanted her too, but she wasn't sure.

"I have nothing to sleep in" Meredith said

"You can borrow a shirt of mine" Derek said, the only thing he had left of her the smell went a long time ago.

"Okay" Meredith says yawning.

"Come on, let's go bed" Derek picks Meredith up in his arms, and carries her into the bedroom, and deposits her on the bed, before pulling out a t-shirt for her.

"Here you go, bathroom, just over there and i will clear up" Derek leans down, kisses her on the head, before leaving her to get changed.

When Derek gets back into the bedroom, he sees Meredith already in bed, curling up into the quilt. Derek grabs a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, quickly get changed in the bathroom, before joining her in bed. Derek notice Meredith is right on the otherside of the bed.

"I don't bite you know" Meredith giggles.

"I know"

"Then come here" Derek says gruffly, Meredith joins him in the middle of the bed, Derek wraps his arms around her pulling her close to him, Meredith lays her head on his heart, listening to his heartbeat.

"Derek" Meredith says gently.

"Yeah"

"I've missed this"

"Me too"

"Goodnight Derek"

"Goodnight Meredith" Meredith is the first to fall asleep, for the first time in a long time; she fell into a deep restful slumber.


	26. The Morning After

**A/N Since things move on rather fast from here and considering Meredith stubborn behaviour about not seeing Derek I though I would clarify it. Meredith never wanted to restart a relationship with Derek, before he found out about Liam, because Meredith though that Derek would hate her for keeping their son a secret, and for the fact that Derek never got to know him. Once those fears was unfounded, she knew that the time has come to learn to let him in. And after all this is Meredith and Derek. Enjoy!**

The next morning Meredith is first to wake up, she feels a little disorientated at first until she remember where she was she can feel his arms wrapped around her, and his breath on her neck, she closes her eyes, remembering how safe she feels in his arms, she can feel him nuzzling her neck, placing little kisses. Meredith giggles until he reaches that spot on her neck the spot that has always made her crazy.

"Derek..."

"Good morning, gorgeous"

"Good morning" Meredith turns to face him; Derek captures her lips with his own, kissing her until Meredith pulls away feeling is erection poking into her side. Meredith laughs, Derek groans against her shoulder.

"I think i better take a cold shower"

"I'll put some coffee on, i can do that without burning your house down" Derek kisses her before climbing out of bed, and walking over to the bathroom, Meredith watched him walking to the bathroom and smiled to herself before climbing out of the bed, getting dressed and walking into the kitchen.

She looks around and notice how empty the house is, apart from a few photos, one of him and his daughter, one of them, and one of Mark and Addison on their wedding day, it was almost has if no-one lived here, she walked through the house, noticing is was the same in everyone.

"Meredith" Derek says causing her to jump and she turned and faces him, notice that he just had a towel wrapped around his waist, and the droplet of water left over from his shower, Meredith bites down on her lip, Meredith could see how much he had changed, and his muscles were more defined. Derek smirked at her, he knew what she was doing and he loved that he could still affect her like that. "Meredith" he says again, has she lifts her head up, and he see in her eyes, the look of lust that he remembered, causing her eyes to look darker than they actually were. Derek quickly closed the gap between them until he was standing in front of her, Meredith placed one of her hand on his chest. Derek stood still letting her do whatever she wanted to do, any next step for up to her, it was her choice what happened next.

Meredith lifts her head so she meets his eyes, she can see herself getting lost in those brilliant blue orbs of his, seeing nothing but love him, love for her. She tip-toes and gently kisses him on the lips, she can tell that Derek is letting her be the one in control, that the choice is her's. Meredith rests her head, against his, just looking into each other eyes, Derek hands run up and down her body, finding the curves that may her all womanly, unconsciously his hands goes straight to her abdomen that once housed their son. Derek pulls her close to him, Meredith arms go up around his neck, and play with the curls at the nape of his neck.

"Mer" Derek manages to get out before, Meredith cuts him off with a kiss, with more passion than before, she deepens the kiss, and for a moment, it feels like that no time has passed at all since, they were, last together, Derek hand roam over her ass, pushing it into him, Derek picks Meredith up, and she wraps her legs around his waist, Derek pulls away slightly has they come up for air.

"Are you sure, Mer?" Meredith simply nods, after head screaming at her to say no and her heart saying yes, she can feel her heart beating wildly in her chest, she doesn't want to let him go again. Derek lies her down on the bed, and hovers over her kissing her, Meredith takes the towel off him, her eyes wide, she can't remember him being this big. Meredith kisses him again, has her jeans comes off, they are so preoccupied that they don't hear the knock on the bedroom door and someone walking in.

"Oh...fuck...i am so sorry"

"Mark, get the fuck out here" Derek yells, before looking back at Meredith. "I am so sorry Mer; i forgot i have him a key"

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time he's walked in on us" Mer giggles.

"That true, now we have go out there" Meredith goes bright red at the thought of facing Mark. Derek rolls off Meredith looking for his clothes, once he get dressed, he leans down and kisses Meredith before giving the bedroom.

"Mark, ever heard of knocking"

"I didn't realise she was over here"

"She has a name, Mark" Derek snaps at him.

"Derek, i am worried about you, i don't want to see you getting hurt again"

"I know that Mark but i am asking you to give Meredith a chance, you know full well, how much i love her. We both hurt each other all those years ago, so don't go putting all the blame on her, i am begging you"

"Fine, i will do that for now, but it doesn't mean that i am not watching"

"Thank you Mark. Why did you come over?"

"We are having a barbeque at Malibu tonight? Addison wanted to know if you could come"

"Could i bring Meredith?"

"Your daughter or your girlfriend?" Mark asks knowing full well who he meant, Derek shoots him a dirty look.

"Yes Meredith can come"

"Good, we will see you at 8" with that Mark leaves, having to get back to his wife. Meredith comes out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, Derek hands her a hot coffee.

"So what are we doing today than Derek?"

"I will drop you home, so you can get showered and changed, and i thought we could spend the day out at my house in Malibu"

"That sound like fun"

"Don't forget your bikini, Mer" Derek says, kissing her on the head, and walking out of the kitchen toward the bedroom.


	27. I want you

Enjoy!

Meredith was stood at her wardrobe trying to find something to wear, Derek had dropped her off an hour ago, and was due to pick her up any minute. Meredith finally pulled out a pair of jeans and a top just has there was a knock on the door; she smiled to herself knowing who it was.

"It's opened, Derek" Mer shouts.

"Are you ready, Mer?" Derek calls back.

"Almost, I'll be out soon. Make yourself at home" she calls out, pulling on her jeans and top, she quickly tied her hair back before walking into the living room. Derek was stood, looking at photos of her and Liam, for a few minutes, Meredith stood watching, Derek was so ingrained at looking at the photos that he didn't noticing Meredith watching him, until he turned around.

"Oh, hey"

"You alright Derek"

"Just looking at the pictures of Liam"

"I noticed" Meredith said with a small sad smile Derek walks over to her, and kisses her gently on the lips.

"He was gorgeous Mer" Derek said gently.

"Spitting image of you"Meredith said.

"I can see a lot of you in him Ner" Derek said, kissing her again, Meredith deepen the kiss, and quietly, and Derek pulled away slightly.

"Meredith" he said breathlessly, searching her face that this was okay.

"Yeah" Meredith asks with a smirk on her face. With that Derek pushes her up against the wall, grabbing her hair, yanking it back, leaving her neck exposed.

"I want you" he says, before kissing her, Meredith wants this just has much has Derek does, to feel him inside of her again, it had been so long, that the feeling of them being connected was a distant memory, from that last morning, Meredith remembered how much more defined he was, and feeling his erection poking into her, told her is just has big has he always was. No man that she had ever been with in the past 15 years, did to her what he did, and what she had never forgotten, she felt the brain goes hazy, just from Derek's kisses, the way his thumb felt rubbing against her clit, until she remembered that she shouldn't be do this, not yet, and with what little strength she had, she pushed him away.

"I'm sorry Derek, but i can't" Meredith mumbled, looking away from him.

"It's okay, Mer, we did say we would take it slow, it just i can't help myself when i am around you. Now i need to do something about this" Derek says, Meredith knows exactly what he means, so she says to him.

"Mark naked" Derek erection soon goes flaccid.

"I can't believe you just said that" Derek said with disgust.

"Well, it worked didn't it" Meredith quipped back, and moved out of Derek range and grabs her phone of the side and puts it into her bag, she looks back over to Derek who is still stood in the same spot, watching her. "Ready, Derek" Meredith says slinging her bag over her shoulder and opening her door and walks out before her, has he goes past he says quietly.

"Always ready for you, Mer" causing Meredith to blush, it had been a while since anyone had spoken to her like that. Meredith watched him walking out of the apartment with a smile on her face, before closing the door behind her.


	28. Perfection

**Enjoy!**

Once they got on the freeway, it was quiet, unusually quiet, he glanced over at Meredith, to see her with her eyes closes and with a smile on her face, ihe still couldn't believe that after all this time she was sat next to him. Once they reached the coast, driving alongside the Pacific Ocean, Meredith turned to look at Derek for first time since they left her apartment; Derek turned to look at her, and took her hand in his.

"This reminds me of those drives we used to take in New England" Meredith says, with a small smile.

"I have always thought the same, we should do this more often" Derek says has Meredith looks over the ocean, taking in the sea air, has they drive into Malibu.

"Sound like you're planning for the long term Derek"

"Let me put it this way, Mer, now i have you back in my life; i won't be letting you go without a fight" he tells her and has they stop at the traffic lights, Derek leans over and kisses her.

They drove up to a gated community and the guard nods at Derek letting him drive through until Derek pulls in to his driveway.

"Derek this is beautiful" Meredith says has she gets out of the car, and walks towards the house.

"You haven't seen anything yet" Derek said has he places his arm around her shoulders, and led her into the house, has they walked in, it took them straight into the living area, and all Meredith could see was the view of the ocean from the window she couldn't believe how beautiful the view is, and has Derek gave her a tour of the house, she was surprised to see how much more character the place had, compared to the house in the hills. She was stood out on the deck, looking out over the beach and listening to the sounds of the waves crashing against the beach, it reminded her of the time they spent at their spot on the cod, just listening to the ocean. Meredith was so lost in thought that she didn't hear Derek coming up behind her, until he cleared his throat, she opened her eyes and looked at him, smiling, he handed her a cold drink.

"Derek, it is much more inviting and warm than your home"

"To be honest Mer, i don't really spend a lot of time, at the other house, i generally stay here"

"If you don't mind me asking, but why?" Mer asks snuggling closer to Derek, Derek put his arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

"This house i brought with my first pay check, and i always thought you would love this place" Derek says, looking out over the water.

"What?" Meredith said, sounding a little shocked.

"Meredith, everything i had ever done, was partly because of you. I wanted to have a place that we could have together if this ever happened, and over the years Ellen, fell in love with this place, and she always wanted to stay here whenever she stayed with me"

"You call her by her middle name?" Meredith asked, wondering why.

"She insists on it, she know why i wanted to call her Meredith, and she always said that she could see the pain in my eyes when i called her by it"

"When do i get to meet her?" Derek looks at Meredith a little surprised.

"You want to meet her?" Derek questioned her, making sure that it was what she wanted.

"Derek, i let you go all those years ago, so that you could be a proper father to your daughter, and i want to meet the person that i gave up the love of my life for, is that so unreasonable?" Meredith says, not noticing the smile on Derek face at first until she looks back at him and see a huge grin on his face. "What is that grin for, Derek?"

"You called me the love of your life" Meredith turns away and look out, finding the water calming.

"Yes, i did, Derek" Meredith said smiling.

"I just never thought i would hear something like that coming from you"

"You do tend to make me cheesy and all that, and i think Liam would like it"

"You're the love of my life too, Meredith. I want you to meet Ellen, but i also don't want to hurt you, she is roughly the same age that Liam would have been, if he was here" Meredith looks him straight in the eye.

"Thanks Derek, but i think i could handle it" Meredith standing on tip toes to kiss him gently on the lips, and completely forgetting where they are, Derek picks her up, and she wraps her legs around his waist, deepening the kiss, Meredith runs her fingers through his hair, has they come up for air.

"Where the bedroom?" Meredith whispers seductively in his ear.

"You sure about this Mer, we said we will take it slow, and i don't..." Meredith silences him with a kiss and against his says "Bedroom", Derek doesn't say another word and carries her towards his bedroom, he doesn't bother closing the door, knowing that no-one will be coming, he puts her down, and taking off her dress to reveal her just in her bikini, he look her over to recommit her body to memory, drinking in the soft curves that she never had before, he leant down to her stomach, which had once housed their son and kiss her flat belly, saying his own little prayer before standing back up before Meredith, who has tears in her eyes. Derek gently wipes them away before kissing her.

"I love you Meredith Grey"

"I love you Derek Shepherd" Meredith says leaning in and kissing him, she undoes his trousers, yanking them and his boxers now, has his cock springs free and ready, he was just has big, if not bigger than she remembered. She turned around so Derek's back was to the back, she pushes him back, so he falls onto the bed, and she takes his hard, thick cock into her mouth. Derek loved it when she took control, and feeling her mouth around his cock, brought back such perfect memories, has Meredith sucked, and swirled her tongue around her hard shaft, taking all of him in her mouth, Meredith can feel him pulsating in her mouth, ready to cum, she sucked harder.

"FUCK...MEREDITH" has he exploded, the hot cum shooting down her throat. Meredith comes up to his level, kissing him, and he flips her over so he is on top, he removes her top, taking care to suck gently on her nipple, and then giving her other nipple attention, Derek kisses her hard on the lips, removing her jeans and panties before planting little kiss, before burying his head in between her legs, licking, and sucking on her clit, Meredith grabs the sheet, before throwing her head back in ecstasy,

"Derek" Derek places to fingers inside of her, has he continues to flick her clit with his tongue.

"FUCK..." Meredith scream has her orgasm hits her with full force, giving her an orgasm that she hasn't felt in fifteen years, Meredith opened her eyes to find his blue orbs looking straight into her. She lifts her head up to kiss him, smiling at him.

"I've missed you so much Derek" Meredith murmurs to him; Derek looks at her with eyes full of love, the love that he felt for her, a love that had never gone away while they were apart, it anything the love they felt for each other was intensified, both Meredith and Derek knew that once they made love again, that, that would be it, there would be no going back, but they didn't want to, they want you each other represented, has Derek slowly entered her, never taking his eyes of her, has he fills her up, Derek began to move gently inside of her, still absorbed in each other gaze, Derek lowered his head kissed her; Meredith lifted her hips of the bed, causing Derek to go deeper.

"What do you want Mer?"

"I want you to make love to me Derek" Derek didn't need asking twice, he had felt so much relief since he had been inside of her, buried deeper inside of where he belonged, the fifteen years melting away has Derek continued to pump into her, slowly at first, but getting harder and faster.

"Derek..." his name rolling her tongue is music to his ears, he places Meredith hands above her head, has he can feel himself reaching his peak.

"Oh...fuck...Meredith"

"DEREK...I'M CUMMING"

"MEREDITH...I...CAN'T..."

"FUCK...DEREKKKKKKKKK" Meredith screams she her wall collapse around him, bring her to her peak.

"MEREDITH..." he screamed spilling inside of her, before gently collapsing on top of her, staying inside of her, they kiss, and has Derek shrinks inside of her, he pulls out, and gathers her o9n his arms, pulling the cover over them, has they lay there, spent, Derek runs his hands over her curves has they lie in bed, finally being together has each of them had dreamed over the past fifteen years, all they wanted was right there in front of them.

Meredith and Derek are lie in bed, both looking out over the water from the bedroom window, watching the water, Derek is planting little kisses on her neck.

"I missed you too, Meredith" he whispered in her ear, has the drifted off to sleep, enclose in the little cocoon, where only they existed.


	29. Meeting Ellen

**Enjoy!**

Derek was jerked awake, by the front door slamming and hearing someone calling throughout the house.

"DAD...DAD...Where are you?"

"Give me a minute please El" Derek called out, grabbing his boxer from the floors, luckily Derek had just pulled them up, just has his daughter stormed into his room.

"I fucking hate..." Ellen starts, before seeing someone in Derek bed. She puts her hand over, her mouth, before walking backwards out of the door. "Dad, i am so sorry" she said embarrassed.

"Just go and sit down on the deck, while i get myself dressed" Derek told her.

"Okay, Dad" Derek runs his hand through his hair, has he looks at a sleeping Meredith, he grabs his trousers proceeding to pull them on, just has Meredith rolls over to look at him. Derek sits on the edge of the bed, leaning over and kissing her lightly.

"Ellen's here" Derek tells her.

"I thought i heard someone shouting, i figured it was a dream" Meredith said sleepily.

"I'm sorry Meredith, she was supposed to going away with friends this weekend" Meredith pulls him closer to her, kissing him.

"Der, it doesn't matter, she is your daughter. Go and talk to her while i have a shower and then i can meet her"

"See, this is why i love you"

"I know...now go" Meredith watches has Derek walks out of the bedroom.

Derek walks out on the deck to see Ellen hunched over crying, he sat next to her, and put his arm around her.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Derek hated seeing her daughter crying.

"I hate her..."she sobbed out.

"Who?" Derek already knew the answer to the question.

"Mom"

"What happened now?"

"I was suppose to go away with Sophie and Laura this weekend but mom wouldn't let me, she was being a total bitch"

"Do not speak about your mother in that way, Ellen" Derek told her sternly.

"Why not? You do"

"I'm allowed too, but you're not, she is your mother and she loves you every much" Derek told her, knowing that where would have been a reason to why Carole would have stopped her, from going away.

"Yeah right, dad. All she cares about is ruining my life" she said, not noticing Meredith walking out on the deck. Derek turns and faced her, smiling at her, holding his hand spare hand out to her, has he continued to comfort his daughter.

"Elle, that is not true" Derek stated. "Ellen, i want you to meet someone, this is Meredith" Ellen turned and looked at her, Meredith was shocked to see someone looking so much like Derek, with his eyes, the eyes that reminded her so much of her son, she took a deep breath..

"Meredith" El said holding her hand out to her which Meredith shakes. "Like i said the other night, dad has told me so much about you. I'm sorry to ruin your weekend, I'm Elle"

"Elle, it's fine"

"I am so glad to meet you, Meredith. I want my dad to be happy and by the looks of it, he is" Ellen said, watching how Derek indistinctively moved closer to her, putting his arms around her waist, and that he couldn't take his eyes off her. "Maybe i should head home" Elle said quietly

"Don't be silly, El, how on earth did you get here?" Derek asked.

"I caught a bus from San Francisco, dad"

"Well, you're not going all the way back to Napa on your own, young lady, i will drive you home. You better call your mother and let her know where you are" Derek told her.

"Dad, she will know" Ellen said really not wanting to call her mother.

"Go and phone your mother anyway, please?"

"Okay fine" Ellen said walking into the house, leaving them out on the deck alone, Derek puts his arms around Meredith nuzzling her deck, and looking out over the water.

"I am sorry about this, Meredith"

"Derek, don't worry about it, she is your daughter, go and make sure that she gets home safely"

"Why, don't you come with me, Mer?" Derek said, thinking they should stay in San Francisco overnight.

"Derek, i can't, i have an early morning meeting with another producer"

"You're cheating on me" Derek says pouting.

"It looks like i am, Mr Shepherd" Meredith said giggling. Derek closed his eyes, he always love Meredith laugh.

"None of them is has charming has me"

"I will let you know, Derek" Meredith said to him, turning and facing him, so engrossed in each other that they don't see Ellen stood there watching them.

"Do you want me to drop you back home?" Derek said resting his head against her's.

"You will need to i don't have my car with me"

"Okay, i love you, Mer" Derek told her

"I love you too" Meredith whispers to him.


	30. Start of the weekend

**Enjoy!**

A week had passed since Meredith and Derek had seen each other, they both had extrememly busy weeks, and any plans to see each other had been cancelled. Meredith had taken the afternoon off and was meeting Derek for lunch, he had decided to let his cast have a short week of filming that week, he just wanted to see Meredith, he was hoping to spend the weekend with her, after their last weekend together was cut short, he decided to he wanted to take Meredith away this weekend to Santa Barbara..

Meredith was sat in her office at noon that day, thinking about Derek, he had called her the night before to arrange lunch. Derek was picking her up in 30 minutes, her meetings for that day had finished, she was just thinking about things, she knew how much she loved Derek, that was the one thing that she had never doubted, but could she handle keep seeing his daughter knowing that their son, would be the same age, if he was alive, she often imagined what he would look like, she had always imagined Liam looking like his father.

Meeting Ellen the weekend before had been difficult, but she didn't want to let him go, she had even spoken to Ellen a couple of time that week, and she knew that she would have to find a way to deal with it. Meredith was so deep in thought that she didn't notice her secretary voice over the intercom, until she heard her door open and smelt his cologne, Meredith turned to look at him, with a small smile.

"Meredith" Derek said, walking over to her and kissing her on the lips, showing how much he had missed her.

"If i didn't know any better Mr Shepherd, I would say that you missed me"

"Trust me I did, I have spent the past 15 years missing you" Derek says kissing her again gently.

"Me too, Derek" Meredith says giving him a small smile, before grabbing her briefcase from her desk, Derek place an arm around her before they leave her office. Meredith says a quick goodbye to her secretary, and followed Derek over to the elevator, when they stepped onto the elevator, they were alone, Derek pushes Meredith up against the wall, and Meredith dropped her case and rans her fingers through his curls, has the kiss deepens, and Meredith moans into his mouth, the elevator dings to indicate that they have reached their floor, Derek pulls away with a smirk. They walk out hand in hand into the California sunshine.

Once they are in Derek car, Mer having left her's at home that morning, they were driving down Sunset Blvd, when Meredith turns to Derek and asked him, where they were going.

"We are going to your apartment, and you need to pack a case, I am taking you away for the weekend, but before we leave the city, we have a lunch date with Mark and Addison" Meredith turned to look at him, with wide eyes.

"Mark?" Derek nods, Meredith looks back at him. "Derek, Mark hates me"

"Mark doesn't hate you Meredith, he is just trying to protect me, and beside, Addison will be there, and Addison likes you" Derek tells her has he pulls up outside her apartment building.

Once they get into Meredith apartment, they can't keep their hand off each other, it had been a week since they made love, and they both needed each other, Meredith wanted to feel him inside of her, and Derek needed to be inside of her. They didn't even bother going into the bedroom, by the time the hit the living area, they were both naked, Derek pushed Meredith up against the wall, has he entered her quickly. Once he was buried inside of her, he topped, just enjoying being inside of her again, Meredith kisses him hard, and grinds her hip against him, causing him to go deeper and them both to moan.

"Derek, I want you" Meredith says huskily against this lips, Derek kisses her hard and works down to her neck, nipping gently until taking her nipple in his mouth, and sucking, has he starts to move he starts to move inside of her, still sucking on her nipples giving each one the same amount of attention, before kissing her hard on the lips.

"DERRRRRRRRRRRRRRREK"

"FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK" Meredith tilts her pelvis, a little more, causing Derek to hit her g-shot, has she tremble in his arms, Meredith screams out.

"Oh…GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD" Meredith walls tighten around Derek cock, has she tremble violently in his arms; just has Derek spills inside of her. Derek holds her close to him, and has he comes down from his high, it notice Meredith is still in the post orgasm stage, has they looks into each eyes, with Derek still inside of her. Has Meredith start to come down from her orgasmic high, she wraps her legs tighter around his waist, and resting her head and his, she offers a small smile.

" Wow…"

"Wow, indeed… amazing"

"That what I thought"

"I missed the hot quickies"

"Me too" Meredith says kissing him again, has they hear Derek's phone going off, Derek moans, against Meredith's mouth, and then realises who is it, Derek pulls out of her, and placing her down on the floor, Meredith's legs feel like jelly, she grabs hold of the sofa, grateful that it is there, so she just doesn't fall to the floor.

"I'm sorry, Meredith" Derek says picking up the phone; he cancels the call and texts Mark to say he is running late at the studio, before taking two long strides over to Meredith, picking her up, and carrying her to the bedroom. They made love once more before going to meet Mark and Addison.

--------------------------------------------------------

After lunch, Derek took Meredith back to her apartment to pack a bag for the weekend but wouldn't tell her where they was going, Derek wanted to surprise Meredith, he remember that she hated surprises but was hoping that would like this one, he wanted one weekend uninterrupted with her. Derek wisely decided to stay in the car, after than accompanying Meredith up, knowing exactly what would happen.

"No self control, Derek, it's sad really" Meredith said leaning over and giving him a quick kiss.

"When it comes to you, no I don't" Derek said has Meredith climbed out of the car.

"I will see you in two hours, Mer" Derek said before driving off, and Meredith she walked into her building. Once Derek got home to pick up his stuff for the weekend, placing a quick call to his mother and daughter letting them know that he would be away for the weekend, but not giving any of them any details. He hadn't mentioned to his mom about Meredith being back in his life, he wanted to know they could make it work before telling, his family. Derek couldn't help but smile at the way Meredith was constantly in his thoughts and the way she moves underneath his body, sex with Meredith had always been out of this world, but it had gotten even better. As he loaded his stuff up in his car, he could imagine Meredith living in that house with him, making it more homely, he realised in that moment that was all he wanted.

Derek pulled up outside Meredith apartment and beeped his horn, a few moments later Meredith came running out of her apartment block, and took his breath away, she had her hair down, wavy and carefree, and a pair of white linen trousers, with a aqua blue halter neck top that brought out her eyes, Meredith stuck her bag in the backseat before climbing into the passenger seat, and leaning over giving Derek a kiss, what neither of them noticed was the photographer taking a picture of Derek Shepherd and his beautiful special friend. As they drove north through the valley, and out of Los Angeles, and Derek wouldn't tell her where they were going no matter how much she asked and begged him, before Derek pulled off the highway, heading toward Santa Barbara.


	31. 48 uninteruppted hours

**Enjoy!**

Once they arrived in Santa Barbara, Derek drove straight to their hotel, and booked them in, and went to their room, it was Friday afternoon at 5, when they entered their room for the weekend. Meredith walked straight over to the balcony, and the view of the pacific was beautiful with that beach right in front of hotel, Derek came up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her waist with his head on her shoulder. They watched has the waves hit the beach, and stood their enjoying the sea air, in silence until Derek whispered in her ear.

"Forty eight uninterrupted hours" Meredith turned to him with a grin, standing on tip toes kissing him, has their tongues explored each other mouths, they both wandered how they ever managed to spend all that time without each other, Derek picked Meredith up, and carried her over to the bed, climbing on top of her, Derek hands run up and down her body, lifting her top slightly, has Meredith ran her hands over the muscles of his back, yanking off his shirt. Meredith top comes off next, has Derek moves to that spot on her neck, the spot that only he can find has he sucks on that Meredith is working on undo his trousers, as Meredith lifted her hips off the bed, allowing Derek to pull down her jeans, while Derek stood up and kicked his trousers and boxer off, his penis standing fully erect. Meredith got onto her knees on the end of the bed, and took his cock, into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the length of his cock, her hand grabbing his ass, has Derek grabbed her hair, Meredith continues to suck him, until Derek pushes her back on the bed, and land on top of her, kissing her hard on the mouth, removing her bra and slipping her out of her panties.

"What are you doing?" Meredith asks him breathlessly after Derek stopped kissing her.

"Meredith, i want to be inside of you", Derek says before entering her swiftly, until he was fully immersed in her, kissing her gently, he pulls away and looks into her lustful eyes, Derek murmurs softly to her.

"We have all weekend for that, right now i want to make love to you" Meredith gazed back into his eyes, simply nodding before Derek mouth was covering her's, Meredith arms above her head, has Derek started moving inside her slowly, sucking on her collar bone, has he still held her arms above her head. Meredith started whimpering under him, causing him to start pounded harder, and faster into her, has Meredith started calling out his name, Derek could feel himself getting even bigger inside of her, as Meredith lifted her hips, making in go deeper inside of her, has Derek thrusted into her, Meredith lifted her hips to meet his thrust, causing him to hit her g-spot, Meredith started to tremble under him, she threw her head back, has she screamed. Derek thrusted into her even harder, Meredith grabbed on to his curls, has she orgasmed.

"DERRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK"

"MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" Derek called out, has his orgasm washed over him, he found himself staring into her eyes, has they both finally cum together. Derek collapse on top of Meredith staying inside of her, kissing her, running his tongue over the roof of her mouth, and has he pulled out of her and rolled off her, he gathered her in his arms, Meredith rested her head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you, Derek" Meredith murmured has she fell asleep, Derek laid there holding her, running his hand up and down her curve, slightly afraid that all this was a dream. He drifted off to sleep slowly, making sure that he was breathing her in.

----------------------------------------------------------

Several hours later, Derek woke up to an empty bed, he was sure at first that it was all a dream until he heard Meredith singing in the shower, he smiled at the memories, of all the showers they had taken together, he climbed out of bed and walked into the en-suite, Meredith had started singing I will Survive, Derek smiled to himself, her singing hadn't gotten any better over the past fifteen years, he opened the showers door, and grabbed Meredith by the waist, and turned her toward him.

"Hey" Meredith looks at him with wide eyes, before pounding his chest with her fists.

"You scared me"

"Who else is going to be" Derek says kissing her hard.

"I don't know you could have been a rapist or a murderer"

"Well, you could die on the screaming orgasms i give you"

"Now, we are getting cocky"

"Well, you always loved the cockiness"

"I think i have changed my mind" Meredith says, but seeing the quick flash of hurt in his eyes, made her feel guilty.

"Derek, i didn't mean it..." Derek kissed her to silence her, and pushed up against the shower cubicle wall, his hand running over her clit, before he pulls away.

"I know you didn't Mer, but we both have issues to work out with each other"

"I know we do, but I'm scared Derek"

"Meredith, i am not going anywhere, and i am not about to let you run away from me either. We will sort this out between us, i love you" Derek assured her.

"Derek, i am not going anywhere, i barely survived it last time, i love you and for the first time in my life i am not scared. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, there i said it" Meredith said sounding self assurely, realising that she wasn't scared, everything in front of her, was exactly what she wanted.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you too, I have just gotten you back Meredith, I am not going to let you go that easily" Derek says kissing her, has Meredith wrapped her legs around his waist, has Derek quickly enters her.

"Fuck Der" Derek just stays inside of her, not moving.

"Derek"

"I have missed this, Mer. Being connected to you like this"

"I know," Meredith starts sucking on his earlobe, knowing that it will cause him to move inside of her. Meredith moves her hips, has Derek starts to thrust inside of her, their movement matching each other burning desire, Meredith unwraps her legs from his waist, standing on the floor of the shower, Derek pounding harder and harder inside of her, Meredith runs her hands through his curls, grabbing his curls, has she feels herself clamping around him, causing Derek to groan loudly.

"Fuck" Meredith tightens her walls around him even more.

"MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…FUCK…………………I'M CUMMING" Meredith finally let go of her orgasm, has they cum together. Derek buries his head in her neck, has they both struggle to catch their breath and come down from their high. They kissed and washed each other down, before Derek reaches out, and wraps Meredith up in a white fluffy towel.


	32. Marry Me!

**A little on the short side but necessary. Enjoy!**

Once they were dressed, Meredith had a long sundress on, with her hair down, over her shoulders and has Derek led her out into the California evening sunshine, they walks along the beach, barefoot, holding hands, talking and laughing. And so in love, as they walked Meredith couldn't think why she was so scared of this, walking along the beach has the sunset, brought a kind of peace over her, and she could feel their son, telling her to go for this, not to hold back any more. As Derek watched her, alook of peace washed over her, and he felt her relax next to him, and when she looked at him the sparkle that he hadn't seen in so long was back in her eyes, she smiled at him.

"Meredith, are you alright?"

"Derek, i am"

"You seem different than you did 5 minutes ago" Meredith stopped and pulled him to her.

"Derek, i love you..."

"I know i..." Meredith placed a finger over his mouth.

"Let me say this, the last fifteen years have been hard. I have never been able to let Liam go, he was the only thing i had left of you, and i was afraid that if i let him go, i would lose all connections to you, and i didn't want that. I have never stopped loving you, Derek, and i know i never will. Meeting Ellen was hard, she is the same age that our son would be, and i couldn't forget that. This might sound nuts but i have always felt our son's presence with me, since the day he died and he is letting me go, so it is about time that i did the same to him. Derek i don't want to do the slowness that I said i was wanted, i was punishing myself, over Liam's death and it is time for me to stop. I told you earlier Derek, i am not scared anymore, and i want to spend the rest of my life with you and i am done running from our love" Meredith says with tears in her eyes, Derek look down at her with so much love and adoration, it make want to turn away but she can't, Derek kissed her gently on the lips.

"I am glad that he has been watching over you, Meredith and it doesn't sound nuts, he wants his mommy to be happy, and we are only ever really happy when we are together, i have told you, i had never stopped loving you, and i knew i would love you forever, Meredith" Derek wipes away the tears that running down her face, kisses her and pulls her close to him, has they watch the sunset over the water, Meredith pulls away has the last of the sun disappears from the horizon.

"Derek, will you marry me?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	33. Answer

**Enjoy!**

Derek looks at Meredith, he was a little in shock to hear those words from her lips, not thinking that she would ever say it and especially so soon he knew that he wanted to marry her, that he never wanted spend another moment without her, but he was speechless, it was not something that he thought that he would hear from her, Derek notices that she starts to cry, and quickly kisses her and pulls away gently.

"I take it, that you don't..." Meredith starts to say, feeling her heart beginning to drop, taking Derek silence has a no.

"Meredith of course i want to marry you, i was just a little surprised to hear you saying it so soon"

"Sorry...it...soon...too...it wasn't..."

"Meredith, yes i will marry you" Derek says with a smile.

"Derek...i...understand...Really" Meredith looks on in amazement, having prepared herself for his rejection.

"Yes, Meredith i love you" Meredith jumps into his arms, has their lips meet, has their mouths and tongues explores each other, before pulling away breathlessly, still looking into each other eyes, Derek caresses Meredith face, has their lips meet again, with Derek running his fingers through her honey blonde hair.

"We are going to be late for the restaurant Mer?" Derek says not taking his eyes of her, all the smile evident on his face, with her's to match.

"It isn't too soon, is it?" Meredith asks him, still slightly unsure that it was the right time to ask him, but she couldn't help, she could feel Liam pushing her that final last time to happiness.

"Meredith, has long has you are ready, than no it isn't too soon, we have been waiting for fifteen years. You can freak out if you want too, i won't take it too heart"

"Nope, no freaking out, at least not yet" Meredith says with a smile, wrapping her arms around him, and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Good, let's go and have something to eat, i don't know about you but i am starving for two things"

"What is that then Derek?"

"Food and you" Derek starts nibbling on her earlobe, as Meredith giggles. "Are you laughing at me?" Derek asks teasingly, loving the sound of her giggle.

"No" Meredith says giggling again.

"I can't help it that i want my fiancée so much" Meredith stared at Derek with wide eyes, Derek smiles to himself. "Freak out time, Mer" Meredith hits his arm with her fists.

"I am not going to freak out Derek, it just seem weird you calling me your fiancée, has we did kind of skip girlfriend and went straight onto fiancée" Meredith says has she pulled him into the restaurant. They walked over to the hostess, holding hands, with Derek muttering in Meredith ear, making her giggle.

"Hello, do you have reservation?"

"Table for Shepherd, please" the hostess smile at Derek, Meredith shakes her head, with the waitresses obviously flirting with Derek has she leads them over to their table in the corner of the room.

"This is our most private table; i hope that it is alright for you"

"It's perfect thank you, isn't it Derek" Meredith says to him.

"Yeah it's fine" Derek nods, pulling out the chair for Meredith to sit down before sitting down opposite her, and taking her hand across the table. "Can i order your most expensive bottle of champagne please?"

"Of course" she gives them their menu's, before walking off, leaving Meredith and Derek alone. Derek looks over at Meredith who is smirking.

"What are you smirking about?" Derek asked her.

"Derek, she was flirting with you" Meredith told him

"I didn't notice"

"I know and she wasn't happy"

"Well, there is only one person that i am interested in, and i am looking at her right now" Neither of them notice the hostess returned until she cleared her throat, she places the champagne on the table bucket on the table and pours out there glasses.

"Are you ready to order, Mr Shepherd?"

"Can you give us 10 minutes please?" The waitress leaves them alone again. Derek picks up his glass and Meredith does the same.

"Meredith, you know how much i love you, and i can't wait for the day you become my wife, but i want to ask you to marry me properly, not here and once i have gotten a ring, and when you least expect it, I love you, to us"

"I love you too, to us" Derek leans over and kisses her gently on the lips before looking at the menu and deciding what to order, they both keep looking over the top of the menus at each other and both of loving the fact they can't take their eyes of each other.

After their meal, they walk back along the beach hand in hand, back to their hotel, once they arrived back to their room, they couldn't keep their hands off each other and they made love until the wee hours of the morning before falling into a peaceful slumber in each other's arms.


	34. Bad news

Derek had dropped Meredith of at her apartment later Sunday night, Meredith has a lot of paperwork to catch up on before going into the office, and Derek had scripts to read over, so they both agreed to spend the night in their prospective homes. Derek didn't want to leave her, he lingered at the door to her apartment for a while, has they kissed and said bye to each other, they didn't want to leave each other. It isn't until Derek cell rings that they finally leave each other.

"Love you, Meredith"

"I love you too, I'll come by the studio tomorrow, i need to meet up with Serena" with that Meredith closes the door behind her, knowing that if she didn't she would beg him to stay. She looked around her apartment, her eyes settling on a picture of her and Liam, she picked it up.

"Hey darling, i guess i better come home soon and visit you, thanks you for helping me, maybe i can bring daddy with me so he can meet you, i love you little one" Meredith puts the photo down, and picks up her bags before she can put them in her room, she receives a phone call

"Hello"

"Meredith, it me" Meredith heard Izzie's voice on the end of the phone.

"Izzie, what wrong?"

"It's your mom" she tells her, Meredith sits down on the edge of the bed.

"What about my mom?"

"She collapsed on Saturday; i have been trying to get hold of you all weekend"

"Oh god...i went away for the weekend with Derek and didn't take my phone with me. Is she okay?" Mer tries to hide the terror in her voice but is unable too.

"The doctors are waiting for you, to arrive so they can talk to you, but it don't look good" Iz says, really not wanting to give her the bad news over the phone.

"Okay, i am on the next flight out Iz. Look after her for me?"

"Of course" Izzie says, just as Meredith hangs up with tears in her eyes, her mother was the last person that she wanted to lose, their relationship wasn't perfect, but she was all that she had left.

Meredith knew that she needed to get to the airport, but she didn't feel able to drive and a cab would take too long and too expensive, she looked at her watch, hoping that Derek was home, she quickly hit the speed dial on her cell, and Derek picked up on the first ring.

"Hey, just about to call you..." Derek can hear Meredith sobbing down the phone. "Mer...What's wrong?"

"Mom...i...New York" Meredith rambled down the phone, and for once he has no idea what she is saying. "Meredith, stay there i am on my way, i love you" Derek picks up his car keys, and drives a little faster than she should, and he makes it to Meredith in record time. As he rushes up the stairs to find her door ajar, Derek finds her sat on the edge of her bed, with clothes scattered around her, with her head buries in her hands. Derek bends down in front of her, moving her hands out of the way.

"Meredith...talk to me"

"It's mom" Meredith said sobbing.

"What happened, baby?"

"She collapsed, she is in the hospital" Meredith manages to get out, Derek sits next to her and holds her has she cries into his chest, they stay like that for the next 30 minutes, with Derek trying to comfort her, until she can pull it together. Meredith lifts her head up, and for the first time, Derek can see the terrified look on her face. Derek gently caresses her cheek.

"I need to go to New York, can you drive me to the airport please, i am in no fit state to go on my own"

"Mer, i can do one better than that, we will use my private jet"

"We?" Meredith asks.

"I am not letting you go on your own Meredith" Derek told her, kissing her cheek.

"What about work?"

"Meredith there are other producer on my team they will have to cope without me, won't they?" Meredith offers him a small smile, and while Derek makes some phone calls, Meredith quickly packs a bag, and walks into the lounge to find Derek still talking on the phone, offering her a smile, he quickly hangs up.

"You ready, Mer"

"Yep", Derek takes her hand and leads her out of her apartment and down to his car and head straight to Burbank Airport.


	35. Seeing Ellis

**Enjoy!**

Derek took Meredith straight to the hospital from the airport, knowing that all Meredith wanted, was to see her mother, he had gathered that things had improved in their relationship since they were last together. As soon as they arrived at New York General, Izzie was waiting outside for Meredith, she was visibly shocked to see Derek with her, but she knew right now, that Ellis was the most important thing to worry about. Izzie gave Meredith a hug when she got over to her, knowing how hard this was for her, but seeing Derek automatically by her side, support her, made Izzie smile.

"Iz how is she?" Meredith asked fearfully.

"She had a heart attack Meredith while in the OR, luckily Cristina was in the gallery watching her, coz otherwise she made not have made it, in a bit they want to talk to you proceed where you want to go next, after all, you are her next to kin" Iz says to her gently.

"Derek" Mer murmurs, Derek places an arm around her, and guides her into the hospital, holding her following Izzie into the elevator. Izzie watches Meredith who is curled into Derek, her face hid in his chest, over Meredith head Izzie mouths "Thank you" Derek simply nods before turning his attention to the woman in his arms, the love of his life, who is terrified at losing her mother. She has lost so much firstly her father, then their son, he wasn't sure how much more she could take. She hadn't said much about her mother since they gotten back to together, but the look on her face, at her apartment, scared him.

They arrived on the surgical floor of the hospital, when Meredith pulled away from him, and walked through the hospital with her head held her, despite of how many nurses and doctors approached her with their sincerest hopes that Ellis would pull through, by the time she actually arrived at her mother room, she was actually exhausted, Meredith paused in the mom's doorway, seeing Ellis hooked up to monitors and tube, reminding of her father and how he looked at the hospital after the accident, Meredith legs gave way from underneath her, and luckily Derek managed to catch her, before she hit the floor. Derek sat Meredith on the seat outside of her room, while Izzie went to get on Ellis's vitals, giving Meredith and Derek a moment alone, Derek knelt down in front of her.

"Meredith, listen to me. She needs you to be strong, once we get back to the hotel, you can fall apart and I will be right there for you, but right now Meredith, she needs you" Derek says softly, Meredith looks at him with tears and nods in agreement, Derek kisses her ever so gently on the lips before helping her up.

"Derek, promise me you won't leave me"

"I promise, Meredith, you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives"

"That what I want too, Derek"

"I know, now let's go in and see your mother shall we?" Derek says opening the door to Ellis room.

Meredith walked into the room and over to her mom, sitting down next to the bed, and taking her hand in her own.

"Hey, mom it me Meredith. I need you wake up, I can't lose you as well, I have lost so much already, please mommy don't leave me" Meredith pleads with her mom, Derek is stood by the wall, he wants to come over and give her a hug, but he knows not to, not at this moment, that this is a moment between mother and daughter, Derek exits the room with Meredith approval giving them some along time.

"Mom, I know things haven't been right between us for the past 10 years, but I do love you mommy, I am so sorry I haven't been the best daughter" Meredith is lost in her own pain that she doesn't notice Ellis waking up, and looking at her daughter was the first time. Ellis notices through Meredith tears, that she seems so much happier than she has been for the past fourteen years; Ellis knows that a part of Meredith misery has been her own thought.

"Meredith" Ellis says ever so gently; bring Meredith out of her own little world and facing her mother for the first time in months.

"Hey mom, you scared me" Ellis reaches out and touches Meredith face so gently and smiles at her.

"You seem happy Meredith"

"I am mom, I finally gotten back together with Derek after all these years, we are getting married mom"

"Good, I am so sorry about everything Meredith"

"Mom, don't…"

"Meredith, I have never told you this before but I am so proud of you, I know you thought that I was disappointed in you when you got pregnant, but I wasn't, you were such a fantastic mom, and Liam was lucky to have you, he loved you so much, I just wish I was there for you when he died, Mer, I am so sorry. After your father died I threw myself into my work, I never noticed you or any of the pain you were going through. You deserve to be happy Meredith, and Derek makes you happy, you have been so unhappy for so long, I hope that you and Derek make the most of it, a love like that very rarely comes along, so make the most of it Meredith, I love you"

"I love you too mom" Meredith said the tears running down her face.

"Meredith, go and get Derek for me I want to talk to him alone"

"Okay" Meredith leans down and kisses Ellis on the forehead, before going out to look for Derek, who is pacing up and down the surgical floor, Derek can smell the waft of lavender, and look up to see Meredith watching him. "Der, mom wants to talk to you" Derek hold her in his arms for a moment, before gently kissing her and disappearing into her mother room, he closes the door behind her.

"Mr Shepherd" Ellis greeted coldly.

"It's Derek Dr Grey"

"In which case, I guess it is about time you called me Ellis, since you are marrying my daughter, please come and sit down" Ellis says indicating the chair next to her bed, that Meredith had only vacated just moments before. Derek sat down next to her, wandering what she wanted. "Derek, I guess you were right"

"About what?"

"That you and Meredith would find each other again"

"Ellis, I know you have never liked me, you proved that at our last meeting all those years ago, but how could you not tell me about my son, you made Meredith go through all that on her own"

"Derek, I know you hate me, and to be honest you have right too, believe it not, I have always loved my daughter, and I was afraid that you would distract her, but I was wrong, not being with you made it worse, she has never stopped loving you Derek"

"I am well aware of that"

"Derek, I don't want to rehash the past, I am not going to be here much longer, I need to know that Meredith is safe and well looked after, which I know only you can provide her. Derek I have known this past year that I was dying, I have advance stage cancer, which obviously Meredith doesn't know, but I pushed her to accept the job in LA because I knew you were there, and I hoped that eventually you would cross paths, just promise me one thing Derek" Ellis coughed, Derek passed her a glass of water, and Ellis gratefully accepted it, after taking a sip she looked back at Derek "take care of her for me"

"Ellis, you don't even have to ask, you know I will, I love her" Ellis nods and reaches over to her bedside cabinet, and pulls out a small black box and gave it to Derek.

"Derek, Meredith's dad gave me this when we first got engaged, I have kept this for my daughter, so I ask you that you give it to her, she said that you were getting married, but I noticed that you haven't gotten her a ring yet" Derek looks at the ring and smiles.

"Of course I will Ellis" Ellis nods and Derek can tell she is getting tired. Ellis grabs Derek hand before he goes to get up.

"Derek, love her like she deserves, she needs you"

"Ellis, I promise you, I will never leave her side, I love her so much"

"Thank you Derek, I am so sorry for everything"

"That was in the past, and I think it can stay there" Derek walks out of room, and gives Meredith a kiss.

"Meredith, you need some sleep, go and say bye to your mom, and I will make sure the nurse knows to call her if anything happens, I am not leaving you here all night" Derek says, Meredith starts to disagree with him, but notices Cristina and Izzie walking up to her.

"Meredith, McDreamy is right go and get some sleep you look worse than me, I will keep an close eyes on your mom and I will call you if anything happens" Cris says, Meredith watches her a see she has no chance of disagree with any of them, she walks back into her mom room, and kisses her.

"I love you mom, I have been ordered to go and get some sleep, I will see you in the morning" Meredith kisses her again, and walks out of the room. Ellis opens her eyes and watches her leave, and once out of sight, Ellis whispers.

"I love you Meredith, goodbye" Ellis said before her machines starts bleeping.


	36. Funeral

A week had passed since Ellis died, the funeral was being planning in Boston, she always wanted to be cremated, and her ashes scattered over the graves of her husband and grandson of recent years. Meredith had barely sleep the night before, and Derek had been by her side no matter how much pleading and begging she did with him, he wasn't going to let Meredith be on her own, she had been on her own for too long, Meredith had simply cried in his arms, Derek's mind couldn't help but wander back to the last time he had been in this house, the moment, that Ellis Grey made it known to him that she was aware of his relationship with her daughter.

_Derek was let into the Grey Estate by the butler Albert, an elderly Englishman, having been requested by Ellis Grey, one of his teacher at Dartmouth Medical School. The butler had shown him up to Ellis Grey's study, a part of him had hope to run into Meredith, he had missed her so much those past three months, since the end of summer._

"_Derek Shepherd" said that cold voice of one of the foremost general surgeon of her time, Derek sat in the chair opposite her._

"_Dr Grey, you requested my presence"_

"_Yes i did, Mr Shepherd. I want to talk to you in regards of my daughter Meredith Grey. I am aware of your previous relationship with my daughter this past summer"_

"_How is she Dr Grey?"_

"_Meredith is well thank you, Derek. The reason i called you here is my daughter is returning to Boston in the next month, and i want your assurance that you won't contact her"_

"_Excuse me, Dr Grey"_

"_I don't want you contacting my daughter ever again"_

"_No offence Dr Grey, but isn't that up to Meredith"_

"_She doesn't know you are here, Derek, and she won't find out"_

"_Now, how do you intend to do that Dr Grey?"_

"_because otherwise Mr Shepherd, I will see to it that you are removed from the school"_

"_You can't do that"_

"_I think you find i can,Mr Shepherd, now i suggest you leave, bye" and with that the butler walks back into the study, and escort Derek out of the Grey residences. It was in that moment, that Derek decided to quit med school and move, he had only held on to that dream because Meredith could find him, he knew that he needed to let her go, no matter how much it hurt him, he loved her that much._

Meredith was upstairs in her room getting ready while Derek and Izzie got the food ready for the wake, Meredith wanted to be alone while getting ready, Derek didn't want to leave her, but she was insistent, Derek was looking at his watch and knowing they had to leave in five minutes, he went up to her room, but found she had locked the door, he could hear her crying.

"Meredith" Derek said through the door gently. "Please open the door"

"No, i am not going"

"Mer, honey, let me in"

"No"

"Please, baby"

"You are not making me go"

"Meredith if you don't want to go, you don't have too, i just want to be there for you, that all" Derek doesn't hear anything for a few seconds, and just has was going to call her again, he heard the door click open, he entered to find Meredith stood in the middle of room, and the look of pure devastating on her face, broke his heart, he took two long strides and picked her up in his arms, and laid her on the bed, and he laid next to her, letting Meredith sob into his shirt, he just laid there comforting her, and holding her, knowing that she wouldn't want anything else, until she was ready. Izzie walked into their room, and saw Meredith distraught in Derek arms, Derek mouthed to her to go on, Izzie nodded giving them time alone, Derek looked down at Meredith.

"Mer, are you sure you don't want to go?"

"You said you wouldn't make me"

"And i won't Mer, i just don't want you regretting the decision not to say goodbye" Meredith looks up at him, with so much pain, it hurts her to say goodbye to her mom, it means that all her family have gone, her father, her mother and her son. Meredith climbed out of Derek's arms, Derek sat up watching her, not sure what she was going to do.

"Meredith"

"Derek, you're right, let's go" Meredith says grabbing her jacket, and Derek follows her out, a little surprise at Meredith quick change of heart, but not question her, he follows her into the car waiting outside for them. During the ride to the church, Derek simply holds Meredith hand, letting her know that he is here for her, they spend the whole ride in silence.

After the service, Meredith greets many people, who knew and loved her mother, by the time they all left to attend the wake, Meredith was exhausted, she was so glad that Derek was by her side, after saying bye to Izzie, Alex and Cristina, Meredith took Derek hand and led him through the cemetery.

"Meredith, where are we going?"

"I want you to meet someone, Derek" Meredith says, stopping in front of a grave that reads

_Liam Derek Shepherd_

_Born 14 April 1994 Died 27 December 1994_

_Beloved son and grandson_

Derek can feel the tears coming on, looking at the last place his son who laid to rest; Meredith kneels down, brushing away the leaves that have covered his grave.

"Hey baby, it mommy, i brought someone to meet you" Meredith holds her hand up to Derek who takes it, and kneels down next to her. "Look baby, i brought daddy, he really wanted to meet you" Meredith can feel Derek's arm around her, she leans into him. "I am sorry i haven't been to see you baby, i moved to California, and i found your daddy. I never wanted to leave you all here alone, but grandma, will look after you, Liam. Just remember how much mommy loves you, and she will never forget you baby, i love you" Meredith leans forward and kissed the headstone, before standing up, leaving Derek at their son grave alone, giving him some time alone with their son.

"Hey Liam, it daddy, i am so sorry i wasn't there for you or your mommy, but i promise you i will look after mommy. One day we will meet and i look forward to meeting you, mommy loves you so much, and so does daddy. We miss you, son" Derek sheds a few tears, before saying goodbye and joining Meredith, he wrapped an arms around Meredith's waist and walking her over to the car.


	37. Please don't leave me

**Enjoy!**

They stayed in Boston for a further week, after the funeral Meredith went straight up to her room, she couldn't stay downstairs for the wake, leaving Izzie, Alex, and Derek in charge, she never left her room for the next five days, Derek was really worry about her, she wasn't eating, or sleeping, she just laid on the bed and cried, Derek felt useless, he just didn't know what he could do. Derek in the end, lifted her of the bed and carried her to the shower, he knew that if he left her any longer, that she would never move, and seeing her hurting like that felt like a knife was going through his heart.

"What are you doing?" Meredith yelled at him, has she punched him on the chest with her fists, he placed her in the shower, and turned on the water, with Meredith still fully clothed.

"Meredith, i am not going to let you lay on that bed any longer, have a shower, get dressed, and come down for food" Derek said harshly.

"I don't want too"

"Right now Meredith i don't care what you want, i love you, and i am not going to sit here any longer and watch you in so much pain, i can't do it. Ellis would not want you to do this to yourself"

"I don't care" Meredith shouted at him. "Just leave me alone" she spat at him.

"Fine, if that what you want, I'll see you back in Los Angeles" Derek says leaving her on the shower floor, in her clothes with the water running over her, sobbing. Derek goes downstairs and slams the front door shut, he wasn't going back to LA without her, he wasn't about to leave her, he sat on the swing; he just didn't know what to do. Then he heard a scream coming from inside the house, and could hear her shouting his name, he rushed in the front door, he could see Meredith on top of the stairs, in her soaking wet clothes, Derek rushed up the stairs two at the time, and took her in his arms, before she fell to the floor.

"I...thought...left" Meredith sobbed into his shirt.

"Mer, i am not going anywhere" Derek said carrying her back into the bedroom, and in to the bathroom. "Meredith, you are going to get a cold" Derek undresses her, and strips off himself, and holds her has the water washed over to them.

"Please...don't leave me" she begged him.

"Mer...Baby, i didn't mean it; i just couldn't watch you like that anymore. I'm sorry"

"I love you too much to lose you, Derek"

"Meredith, you are never going to lose me that I can promise you, it would kill me to lose you" Derek assured her, kissing her gently with all the love that he feels for her. "Anyway Meredith we have a wedding to plan, and there is no way after all this time that you won't become my wife" Derek says, caressing her cheek, Meredith gives him a small sad smile, Derek grabs the shampoo off the shelf, and start washing her hair, and then washing her body, taking care of her, once they had finished in the shower, Derek grabbed a big fluffy towel and wrapped Meredith up in it, before reaching for his own towel and wrapping it around him, and he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, putting her down on the bed, he kissed the top of her head.

"Get dressed, Meredith, i cooked us some breakfast, and then we are going out for the day, i don't know about you but i could do with some fresh air" Derek says pulling on his boxers and jeans. He looks back at Meredith who is still sat on the edge of the bed, watching him. "Mer, you okay?"

"What? I'm fine, Derek. Going out sounds like a good idea, love you"

"Love you too, I'll see you downstairs" Meredith watches him walk out of the bedroom, and she thinking back to the last five days, she knew that he was right to say all the things he said to her earlier, Meredith knew it was time to say goodbye to mom and put her to rest. Meredith got herself dressed, and went downstairs into the kitchen.

"Derek" Meredith says, causing Derek to turn and face her. "Can we stop by and visit Liam?"

"Of course Mer...i wanted to stop by again before we left anyway." Derek said walking over to her, he placed his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him, and kissed her gently, before pulling away and guiding her over to the table, where he put breakfast in front of her. Meredith wolfed it down, having not eaten in five days.


	38. Visiting Liam

**Enjoy!**

Derek parked up in front of the cemetery, and he looked over at Meredith, and squeezed her hand.

"Are you sure you don't mind me talking to him alone?"

"Of course not, he is your son"

"Listen give 10 minutes and then join me?"

"Okay" Derek leans over a kisses her, before handing her his car keys, it took him a few minutes to get to Liam grave, he laid the flowers that he had picked up on the way. "Hi, Liam, it daddy, sorry it has taken me a while to come back and see you, mommy has been very upset over grandma, i hope she is up there looking after you. I want you to know how much i love your mommy, and to assure you that i will look after her, just like you have been these last fourteen years, mommy told me all about it, and i am glad she had someone looking out for her. I just wish that i had gotten to know you and that mommy never kept you a secret, but that was partly my fault. Did mommy ever tell you that you have a sister? She is just a little bit older than you, and maybe one day she will come out here with mommy and me and i can introduce you to her. I wanted to ask your permission about something?" Derek said, with tears in his eyes, he took the ring out of his pocket.

"Grandma, gave me this ring to give to your mommy, i know she has already asked me, but i wanted your permission to marry your mommy, i want to ask her to marry me, and i need to know that you are alright with it" Derek closes his eyes, and he can feel someone touching his shoulder, at first he thinks it is Meredith, put the touch is different a lot more gentler, he smiles to himself knowing that it is his son. "I love you, Liam" he whispered.

"Derek" he hears Meredith behind him, he looks up at her, before standing up and taking her hand in his.

"You ready for this Meredith" Derek asks her.

"I think i am, it time to say goodbye" Meredith lifts off the lids to the urn and empties it over Liam grave, saying goodbye has she does it, she opens her eyes. "I love you mommy. I love you Liam" Meredith leans into Derek, has he hold her. Derek can't help but think about the ring in his pocket, he wants to ask her, and he think that it could be the perfect place, having their son with them. Derek turns a look at Meredith, hoping to take away from of that sadness in her eyes.

"Meredith"

"Yes, Derek" Meredith asks looking up at him. Derek fiddles with the ring in his pocket, debating whether to ask her here, but deciding to take the plunge.

"Meredith, this might seen a weird place to ask you this but Meredith, i love you so much, and in front of our son, i am asking you to marry me" Derek asks pulling out the ring and kneeling down on one knee.

"Yes" Meredith says, Derek slips the ring onto her finger. Derek stands up, and kisses her, Meredith deepens it and wraps her arms around his neck, and Derek pulls away resting his head against hers. "It was perfect Derek, not weird"

"I wanted Liam's permission and i just thought that i would take the plunge" Meredith smiles and kisses him before turning back to look over Liam grave, she smiles, kneels down and kissed his headstone.

"Goodbye, my little one, mommy loves you. I don't when i will back but you are always in my thought" Meredith smiles and turned back to Derek, taking his hand. " I love you, Derek" Derek kisses her on the head and walks over to the car, he had another surprise in store for her, he helped her into the car, before climbing in himself. He notices Meredith looking at the ring.

"Meredith, you do like it"

"Mom gave it to you didn't she?"

"She did, she wanted you to have it, Meredith" Derek tells her leaning over and kisses her.

"So, what is this surprise? Meredith asks him.

"Well, that my dear you will have to wait for, and I don't say I hate surprises because I do remember but I also remember you have always loved my surprises, so don't worry" Meredith places her hand over his and smiles at him.

"I trust you, Derek" she says smiling at him, has he pulled away from the cemetery, kissing her gently on the lips before driving away from the cemetery.


	39. Picking up the Party

**Enjoy!**

Derek drove through downtown Boston, stopping outside a downtown mall, where Izzie was waiting for her, Meredith looked across at Derek with wide eyes, Derek simply smiled before he got out of the car and opened the door for Meredith and walked her over to Izzie. Meredith quietly said bye to Derek while she and Izzie went shopping. Derek had to pick Mark and Addison up from the airport, his mother had arrived the day before, Derek knew how much she want to see Meredith again, but Meredith was still quite sensitive, and he didn't want to upset her until everything was sorted.

Derek had also arranged for Cristina to come out, and she would be arriving in Boston later that evening, Derek had it all planned out, he had to pick his mom up from the hotel, and decided to show her location before going to pick Mark and Addison up, he wanted his mom's input, especially has she was still annoyed at him, for finding out that he was back with Meredith from the papers, and that she hadn't had a chance to see her yet. Derek prayed that Meredith wouldn't freak out about the wedding when she found out, they had only been back together a month but Derek knew exactly what he wanted, and he knew that she did, she was too scare to grab it. At least here, he felt connected to their little boy. He still hadn't mentioned anything to his mom yet about Liam, he was waiting for Ellen to arrive and he decided to tell them together and take them to see him. Derek pulled up to the Ritz Carlton Boston Common. He gave his car to the valet and went into the bar, where his mom was sat waiting for him.

"Hey mom, sorry I'm late" Derek says leaning down and kissing her, before sliding into the seat next to her.

"I trust everything went well"

"Meredith is with Izzie, shopping, and I am going to meet her later"

"Where does she think you've gone?"

"I just said that I had friends here, which isn't an exact lie, but she find out that surprise tonight" Derek says grinning.

"I am glad to finally seeing you happy Derek, its about time"

"I am just glad that I managed to find her again, mom"

"So am I, I just wish it hadn't taken so long"

"So, do I mom, but trust me, she hasn't had it easy these last fifteen years mom"

"Changing the subject Derek, what time are you picking Mark and Addison up from the airport"

"In a couple of hours, Meredith flying out too"

"Isn't that awkward having two Meredith's or haven't they met yet?"

"Your granddaughter does like being called Ellen, mom. And they have met, only once, but they do talk on the phone quite often"

"I haven't seen her in over a year Derek"

"I know and I am sorry mom, you know how Carole gets"

"I am surprise that she let her fly out here"

"I didn't exactly give her much choice, mom, I want my daughter here on my wedding day, and I think Meredith would also"

"I hope you right, Derek" Carolyn said to him.

"I know I am mom, shall we get going, it take a while to get to the airport"

"Don't get cocky with me, Derek" Carolyn says to him, has she gets up. "I am surprised Meredith put up with it" Carolyn places her arm in Derek's, walking out the hotel lobby.

---------------------------------------------------------

An hour later they arrive at the airport, the flight from Los Angeles is due to land in fifteen minutes, and Derek decided to take advantage of the time and called Meredith, who answered on the second ring.

"Hey, Derek"

"You having fun"

"Having fun, being dragged around a load of shops trying on dresses and I don't even know why"

"Just enjoy it, Mer" Derek laughed down the phone.

"Do you know how expensive these dresses are?"

"Meredith, it doesn't matter, Izzie's got my credit card, and so have a splurge"

"Derek, I can't do that it is your money"

"Meredith, are going to be wife, what is mine is yours and has your future husband, I am telling you to spend my money"

"You are going to regret telling me that Derek"

"Just buy one thing that I tell you, okay"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, buy some sexy lingerie, for wear tonight under a hot sexy dress tonight" Derek says quietly into the phone, not wanting anyone to hear what he is saying to her.

"So I guess that mean lots of hot sex, after wherever we are going," Meredith teases him.

"Don't tease, I'll see you later, love you"

"Love you too, bye" Derek turns to find his mom standing behind him, and he jumps. "Mom, you scared me"

"Sorry, but the flight has just landed" Carolyn tells him, and Derek follows his mom over to the waiting area, and Ellen is the first one out followed by Mark and Addison.

"Dad" Ellen waves before coming over and give her father a big hug. "Where's Meredith?" she asked looking around for her.

"Meredith doesn't know your coming; she knows nothing about this, not until tonight anyway"

"Okay, dad. Hi Nan, I haven't seen you in ages" El says giving her Nan a hug.

"You get more beautiful everytime I see you Meredith"

"Nan, please call me Ellen, it is a lot easier, especially once Mer is around too" while Ellen and Carolyn are talking Derek greets Mark and Addison, they can all tell that Mark still isn't happy about this, but Derek didn't want to get married without Mark being his best man. Addison gives Derek a hug, and while Mark carries the bags, and Derek grabs Ellen case, Addison links her arm through Derek, leaving Mark walking behind them.

"Derek I am so sorry about Mark, I have warned him that he better behave him, or I will divorce him"

"You didn't Addie"

"Yep, I did, I am sick off his attitude, all we want is for you to be happy and Meredith makes you happy, and I always like Meredith so he can either be a friend and be supportive or he loses me" Addie says to Derek.

"You wouldn't actually leave him over this would you Addie?" Derek says to her quietly.

"Of course I wouldn't but he doesn't know that" Addie says with a smirk on her face. They walk out of the airport, and Derek drop them all back to the hotel that his mom is staying at, Ellen is getting ready at the hotel, but Derek is taking her case back to the house, he wanted his daughter with them.


	40. Surprise Part 1

**This is divided into three parts. Enjoy!**

When Meredith got back to the house, after leaving Izzie at the mall, she was surprised to see all the lights off, she wandered where Derek was, he was all cryptic with her earlier and even Izzie was when they went shopping, she had been dragged around all the shops. As soon has Izzie saw the ring, she got all excited and dragged her around all the bridal shops, getting Meredith to try on wedding dresses, and to the hairdressers to have her hair done, and no one would tell her why, she just hoped that Derek had an explanation for her, has she opened the floor, she noticed the single white rose, laid on the porch with a note attached to it.

"_Are you ready for your surprise, go upstairs and get yourself ready and I will pick you up in an hour, I love you, baby"_ Meredith smiled, knowing how romantic Derek could be. When she got inside of the house, she should see all the rose petals going up the stairs, and leading into their bedroom, and the bed was covered in rose petal too, Meredith couldn't think why he was doing all this, it wasn't an anniversary of anything, has Meredith stood there in awe, her phone went off in her bag, and it was a text message from Derek.

"_Shower, see you in 55 minutes, love you xxx" _Meredith looked around the room to see if she had missed anything, but she couldn't see anything, she places her bag before entering the bathroom and gets in the shower.

After Meredith had her shower and walked into the bathroom, there was a box on the bed, Meredith walked over to the bed and opened the box, to see a dress, and she lifted it out of the box.

Picture

Under the dress was another note, Meredith could feel the tears in her eyes, threatening to fall, she couldn't believe how much trouble he had gone too, in that moment she fell even more in love with him than before.

"_Wear this tonight, love you"_ Meredith places the dress against her, looking in the full length mirror, Meredith realises that something incredibly special is going on tonight, and Meredith starts to worry, she shakes her head, knowing that Derek wouldn't do anything to embarrass her.

Meredith sat at the dressing table, she never understood why her mom had insisted on getting her one, she would never use it when she was a teenager, but tonight it came in handy, Meredith applied the tiniest amount of makeup, before slipping into her dress, Meredith was in awe to how beautiful it was, when she heard the door close downstairs, she knew it was Derek, she could feel him, by how are heart raced when he came near. Meredith took one last look in the mirror, before walking out of the bedroom, and reaching the top of the stairs, she takes a deep breath before walking down them.

As Derek watches Meredith walking down the stairs, she looks spectacular, she completely took his breath away, Derek was speechless when she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Mer...You look...wow" Meredith blushes, noticing how speechless he is.

"Speechless..." Meredith says with a smile.

"That i am, you look so beautiful Mer...I am so lucky" Derek says stepping forwards and kissing her gently on the lips, not wanting to pull away, he had missed her so much since that morning.

"I am the lucky one" Meredith says.

"No, Mer i am, you let me back into your life, and for that i am so grateful, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, are you ready for your surprise" Derek says holding his hand out to her, Meredith takes his hand her, interlocking fingers. "Your first surprise of the evening, Miss Grey" Derek opens the door, Meredith see standing in front of the house a white stretch limo, Meredith looked at Derek in shock.

"Meredith, this is nothing, this will just get us to where we going, trust me"

"Of course i do" Meredith says, following Derek out, the limo driver opens the door, letting Meredith climb in first, Derek follows her in. As the limo drives off Derek pours them both out a glass of champagne.

"Meredith, you know how much i love you"

"Of course, Derek i love you too" Derek kisses the back of her hand.

"I want you to keep an open mind, and trust me, if you feel overwhelmed at anytime let me know"

"I promise" Meredith assures him, leaning over and kissing him, Derek deepens the kiss, causing them to fight for control, all they want is each other, it had been over a week and a half since they made love, but Derek knew that he needed to keep in control, he pulled away.

"Meredith, this is part one of your surprise their is 3 part to this and i hope that will love it"

"You spoil me"

"Meredith, i have lived fifteen years without you, i am not going to take you or our love for granted again. I want to show you and everyone else how much you mean to me, and how much i love you, i never want to live without you again Meredith Grey"

"Derek i know, i feel exactly the same, i want the whole world to know that i love you, that we are together, and i not scared any more" Meredith says leaning over and kisses him, has the limo stops Derek takes her hand and helps Meredith out of the limo.

------------------------------------------------------


	41. Surprise Pt 2

**Enjoy!**

When Meredith stepped out of the limo, she looked out at the beautiful Garden in front of her, which the marquee in the middle, Meredith looks at Derek, she can see where they are.

"Derek, what is going on?"

"Meredith" Derek says holding his hand out to her, Meredith takes it, has Derek leads her over to the marquee, he stands behind her, and wraps his arms around her waist, Meredith leans into him. "What do you think?

"I think it's beautiful"

"Good, Meredith will you do me the honour of becoming my wife here in two days" Derek asks her, Meredith pulls away from him and turns and looks at him, with wide eyes, of all the surprises that she had imagined, a wedding never even crossed mind. Meredith stands there with her mouth open.

"Der...i....here" Derek stands in front of Meredith.

"Mer, breathe..." Derek lifts her head up.

"Okay...breathing...I...just...just..."

"Mer, honey, i never meant to freak you out, i want to be married to you, and i though this is the perfect place"

"Der...It is...it is perfect, i wasn't expecting it, not at all. I figured you would want a big wedding"

"Meredith, i don't want a big wedding, i want you, me and our family around us that is it, at least here we will be close to Liam, if you want us to make a big affair out..." Meredith kisses him, running her tongue along his mouth; her tongue asking for entry, Derek deepens the kiss, before Meredith gently pulls away.

"Yes, Derek i will marry you here, i love you"

"I love you too" Derek replies, kissing her. "Let me show you the rest, and then i have another surprise for you"

"Derek, more"

"Yes, Meredith"

"You spoil me, Derek"

"You deserve it Meredith, we both deserve it, and we both deserve our happy ever after"

"That was cheesy Derek"

"I don't care, it's true" Meredith giggles at him, before taking his hand has he shows her around the estate.

--------------------------------------------------------

Back in the limo Derek smiles to himself as Meredith asks him loads of questions about the wedding, how she is going to find a dress in time, than it hits her. She turns to Derek,

"Izzie knew didn't she?" Meredith asks him.

"Knew what?"

"Derek Michael Shepherd, don't play coy with me"

"Yes Iz knew what i was planning, that why she took you around all those bridal shops, i did have to admit i didn't think she would get you in there without asking questions" Derek grinned at her.

"Well, she did, and i found the perfect dress" Meredith says, leaning closer to him, until their lips are barely touching. "Derek, i want you" Derek crashes his lips, against her, with Meredith, running her hand through his curls, Derek hands go under her dress, has Meredith straddles his lap, Meredith can feel his raging erection, Derek moves her panties aside and inserts two fingers inside her, and nubs her clit with his thumb.

"Fuck, Derek...I want you inside of me", Derek pulls away slightly.

"Meri, we can't" Meredith hands run down his sides to the button and zip of his trousers, freeing his cock from it's confines, she lifts her hips so her wet core is directly above his cock, before slipping it inside of her.

"That's better"

"Meredith, we are in a limo"

"Exactly, we are getting married in two days so tonight we be our only chance to do this, and I've missed you. "Fuck me...Derek" Meredith moved her hips, has Derek pumps into her, knowing that he had missed this too it had only been just under two weeks since they last made love.

"Fuck Mer..." Derek says has Meredith slams down on him, Derek places his hands on her hips, so she couldn't move, has he pounded into her, their lips never leave each other, kissing hard to muffle their screams.

"Mer..."

"Derek..."

"Fuck...Mer..."

"Derek...." Meredith screams into his mouth has she cum with Derek cumming straight after.

"Mer..." Derek shouts into her mouth, as he spills inside of her. They stay in the same position with Meredith straddling him, his cock still inside of her.

"I love you" Derek says, plating little kisses on her head, has Meredith catches her breathe.

"I love you too" Mer says, resting his head on her shoulder, before climbing off him, and helping Derek to do up his trousers, kissing him.

"Do i have sex hair?"

"You look gorgeous" Derek says has the limo stops. As the driver opens the door, Derek climbs out first, taking Meredith hand has she climbs out of the limo, Meredith shivers in the cool Boston evening, Derek guides her into the restaurant, the manager comes out and greets him.

"Derek Shepherd, i am Jane Gordon, the manager, i am here to show you to the private dining area" Derek shakes her hand.

"This is my fiancée Meredith Grey"

"I hear congratulations is in order"

"Thank you" Meredith shakes has Derek notices all the men in the place looking at Meredith, Derek pulls her closer to him, so his arm his around her waist, has they follow Jane to the service elevator.

When they get off the elevator, Jane shows them to the private dining room, and leaves them at the door. Derek turns to Meredith, and smiles at her.

"You ready, Meredith" Meredith nods her head and Derek opens the door, Meredith walking in first, when the lights come on.

"Surprise" everyone says in unison.


	42. Surprise Part 3

**A lot happens in this update, Ellen asks Meredith a question and discover she has a brother, and yes Mark is an ass again. Enjoy!**

Meredith's look was one of completely and utter surprised, she saw Derek's daughter, Derek's mom, Mark, Addison, Izzie and Cristina among other people such as Derek sisters, Kathleen, Nancy and the twins Amy and Olivia. Ellen was the first one to approach her.

"Meredith, i am so happy for you and daddy" she said giving Meredith a hug.

"I don't want you think i am taking your father away from you Ellen" Meredith wanted to assure her, knowing that she had her dad all to herself for most of her life, and despite of how close they had gotten in the past month.

"Meredith, I never really had a dad when you weren't around, these past three months i have seen daddy more alive than i can ever remember, he loves you so much, you have been so understanding even more than my own mother has, i was wondering if someday, i might be able to call you mom?" Meredith has tears in her eyes, not believing what Ellen had just said her.

"Are you sure Ellen, i don't want your mom to get upset"

"Mer, dad loves you, and in the past month since we met you have been more of a mother to be than my own mom has"

"Ellen, you are everything i imagine you to be, i let your dad goes all those years ago so he could be a dad to you, and i am glad to see that i made the right decision, i sacrificed my happiness for that. You are certainly your father's daughter, i can't say no to you, with those eyes of his, i would be honoured for you to call me mom" Meredith continues to hug her, feeling Liam acceptance of Ellen has his mom daughter.

"El, go and talk to your father, i will speak to you again later, Love you"

"I love you too mom" El says before leaving her and greeting her dad, giving Carolyn Shepherd time to greet her future daughter in law, she embraces Meredith in a hug. And hold her tight.

"I am so happy to see you after all these year, i am so sorry to hear about your mom, Meredith"

"It okay Mrs Shepherd" Meredith murmurs, Mrs Shep looks down at her.

"Meredith, it mom, it always has been or Carolyn if it makes you feel more comfortable"

"I know Mrs...Carolyn, but it has always been hard for me"

"I know honey; i just wanted to welcome you to the family"

"Thank you Carolyn" has Derek mom left her side, Derek joined her once more, placing a arm around her protectively, has Mark and Addison approached them. Addison looks Mark giving him a warning look of watch what you say, which never went unnoticed by either Meredith or Derek; Addison pulled Meredith into a hug and whispered into her ear.

"Thank you for bring our Derek back, Meredith" Addison can see the tears well in her eyes, when she pulls away, and hugs her once again.

"Thank you Addison, i never thought any of his friends would welcome me with open arms, after what happened" Meredith said quietly to her.

"Meredith, i am not most people, unlike my doucebag of a husband, you were good for Derek all those years ago, and i want Derek to be happy, he deserves you, you are the only person i have seen him come alive with, and i want him to be happy, and you make him happy, thank is all that matters. Congratulations Meredith"

"Thank you Addison" Meredith says before Derek drags her away to sit down and the meals are brought out, Derek whispers something in her ear, causing Meredith to giggle, either of them noticing Mark or Addison whispering in his ear, they are too engrossed in each other to notice.

After dinner, Meredith decided to step out on the balcony for the fresh air, not realising Mark had followed her out.

"So, i guess you are feeling pretty pleased with yourself" Meredith hears Mark say behind her.

"Excuse me?" Meredith says to him without looking at Mark"

"You heard me, Meredith?" Mark said with a voice so coldly it made Meredith turn around and want to slap him.

"How dare you, Mark. I have put up with you slagging me off, putting me down for these months, for Derek sake. I do not know what i have done to make you hate me, Mark but i don't care, i love Derek, i have spent the last fifteen years loving Derek, and not doing a thing about, you want to know why because i love him so much i wanted him to be a proper dad to Ellen, no matter where that left me and our son" Meredith ranted at him, not realising that Ellen was standing in the shadow hearing every word Meredith was saying.

"Your son, you are telling me that you were pregnant when you left"

"Yes i was, not that it is any of your business i gave birth to a little boy, only three months after Ellen was born, i gave up my chance and my son's Liam chance at our happily ever after, so Derek could be the person that he was. I never wanted him to abandon his baby, so i made the choice, and god know i have paid for that choice, Mark, but you know i wouldn't change that for the world. Except to see our son alive and here, at our engagement party" Meredith says to him, a lot more calmly than what she felt.

"Mom" Meredith heard behind her, knowing who is was, Meredith looked at Mark.

"Mark i suggest that you leave right about now" Mark nods and walk away, Meredith turned to face Ellen.

"El, you alright" Meredith asks her seeing the expression on her face.

"What is this about you being pregnant when you left dad?"

"El, this is not the time or place to talk about it" Meredith pleads with her, with tears in her eyes.

"Please, i need to know, mom" El says causing Meredith tears to stream down her face, Ellen walks over to Meredith and hugs her causing Meredith to cry even more. "Please, who is Liam" Meredith manages to pull herself together, before pulling way from Ellen.

"Liam is your half brother; i was pregnant with him, when i left your dad in Cape Cod"

"Dad would never of left you?" Ellen says, not understanding.

"El, he didn't know i was pregnant, when i found out, i had made the decision that he would return to you and your mom after the summer was over, and i always knew what a great father he would be, and now seeing with you, i know i made the right choice"

"What happened to my brother?" Ellen asks her, Meredith turns away from her, with tears in her eyes, Meredith says to her quietly

"He died Meredith, when he was 8 months old" Mer says to her, feeling the tears start, she can feel Ellen touching her, with a touch so much like her father, but much more gentler, until she hears him come out on the balcony.

"Mer what wrong?" Derek immediately asks, rushing to her side, not realising his daughter there watching them.

"Der..." Meredith says gently touching his face. "It was nothing, me and Ellen was talking but there was one thing i never got to ask her" Meredith kisses Derek gently on the lips, before turning back to Ellen.

"Ellen, i know this would please your father, but for once i am not doing this for him, i would like, if you want to, if you would be one of my bridesmaid" Meredith said to her smiling at her.

"I would love too, mom" Ellen said giving Meredith a hug, before running inside to tell her grandma. Derek spun Meredith back forward him, and kissed her passionately on the lips until Meredith pulled away.

"Thank you for making her day Meredith"

"It was my pleasure, she asked me if it was okay if she called me mom, i never expect to be called mom, Derek" Meredith said, finding comfort in his embrace.

"Meredith you have been wonderful to her this past month, you have been there for her, she loves you a lot, she did ask me if she could but i said it was up to you"

"Thank you, Derek it means a lot" Derek leans down capturing her lips with his own, Meredith opens her mouth slightly giving Derek the chance to slip his tongue in and explore her mouth. Derek presses against her Meredith can feel his erection poking her, causing Meredith to giggle and pull away slightly.

"I think you need to take care of that," Meredith says sucking on his earlobe, before walking back inside to their guests, leaving Derek stood there on the balcony with a hard on. She was going to pay for that tonight when they got home. Once Derek had composed himself, he walked back in to find Meredith wasn't around, he scanned the room but couldn't see her, he noticed that Izzie and Cristina had disappeared to and he was a little worried, remembering what they were like when they got together.

Meredith, Izzie and Cristina were in the bathroom, giving Meredith their presents for the wedding night, they didn't want Derek to see them just yet. Meredith was shock to see what they had brought her, bustiers, suspenders, garters, massage oils, and even a vibrator, which Meredith burst out laughing at, and when she held it up in front of their faces.

"What on earth is this?" Izzie and Cristina takes one look at the serious look on Meredith's face, and they start laughing too.

"Mer, you know what it is"

"What i meant was why are giving me this, i don't exactly need it" Cristina puts are hand over her ears.

"Too much information, Mer"

"You and Derek can use it together," Izzie, says still laughing, they hear the door open, and Meredith quickly put the vibrator away in the bag, before Carolyn sees it.

"Carolyn" Meredith greets her shooting Izzie and Cristina evil looks.

"Derek, was wondering where you were?"

"Tell him, i will be right out" Carolyn nods, leaving the bathroom, i suggest one of you looks after it and i will get it tomorrow when i see you" Meredith says to them before walking out of the bathroom to find her fiancé. She finds him watching to Mark, she walks over to them, placing her arms around his waist.

"Hey, you were looking for me?" Derek turns to face her, kissing her hard on the lips, causing Meredith to moan.

"I was wondering if you were ready to go" Derek asked her.

"It early yet"

"Yeah i know, but i want you all to myself"

"Who said you are getting are any, Mr Shepherd?" Derek looks at her, and starting kissing her neck, hitting the spot just for him, Meredith pulls away from him,

"Derek" Meredith warns him.

"What?" Derek says looking at Meredith innocently.

"Okay, we will go, say goodbye to everyone" Derek kisses Mer, who laughs and shakes her head at him before leaving to say to goodbye to her friends.

After they both said goodbye to everyone and they all congratulated the happy couple, has they walked out of the restaurant, and into the limo.


	43. Talking to mom

**Enjoy!**

**The next morning, Meredith wakes up to hear the shower going, she is goes to get up, but she is so sore from the night before, she looked over to the clock. It was only 8 o clock, they had only been asleep for three hours, Derek walks out of the bathroom, naked, just drying his hair with a towel, causing his hair to go in all directions.**

"Good morning, gorgeous" Derek says coming over to the bed, and leaning down kissing Meredith, Meredith deepens the kiss, running her hands through his wet hair, Derek ends up on top of her kissing her deeply. Derek removes the quilt from underneath him, his naked body connected with Meredith, has his cock falls in between her legs, at the tip of her sweet pussy.

"Please Derek…I need you now" Derek doesn't need telling twice, he entered her slowly until he completely immersed in her, kissing her hard, has he started to move inside her, Meredith hands running up and down his back, down to his ass, has she lifts her hips of the bed, causing him to go deeper inside her.

"Der…"

"Meredith…" Derek calls out has he can reach feel himself reaching his peak.

"Fuck Der…"

"Can't…longer…"

"DEREK…" Meredith screams.

"MER…" Derek screams has he spills into her, and collapses on top of her, kissing her gently on the lips, rolling off her and gathering her in his arms, and holding her, burying his nose in her hair. "Mer"

"Yeah"

"I am going to tell mom about Liam today"

"Oh"

"Is that alright?" Derek asked, running his hands over her body.

"You will have to tell her sometime, I just hope that she doesn't hate me" Meredith said quietly.

"She won't hate you Mer, I promise"

"I hope not," Mer murmurs. Derek kisses her gently on the lips, before making love to her one more time.

--------------------------------------------

"Hi mom" Derek says giving her a kiss on the cheek, has soon as he entered the café. "Sorry I'm late"

"Late night" Carolyn asks, with a knowing look

"Something like that mom" Derek says, before ordering his mom another tea, and a coffee for himself.

"So, Derek, you look so much better since I last saw you," Carolyn says.

"Things have changed since then mom; I have Meredith back in my life"

"I know that, dear, and I love Meredith you know I do, but I can't help think that you are rushing in this marriage when you have only been back together for two months"

"Mom, I love Meredith, I have waited this long was her, and i am not about to let her slip through my fingers again, that would kill me. Mom, she asked me"

"She asked you!" his mom says in shock knowing that Meredith wasn't at all that kind of person.

"Yep, she asked me, when we were in Santa Barbara, I was completely sidetracked when she asked me, but that was no way I was going to say no. I wanted to waited to ask her properly coz I wanted to get her a ring, and then her mom was in the hospital, and she gave me her engagement ring that Thatcher gave her, she wanted Meredith to have it"

"So, the woman wasn't completely cold hearted then?"

"I think she loved Meredith in her own way"

"What by keeping you away from her?" Carolyn said in amazement.

"She doesn't know mom"

"You haven't told her"

"That is no need mom, it was in the past, Ellis apologised for her behaviour, and in a way i can understand it now"

"How?"

"Mom, when Meredith left me that summer, she was pregnant with our child" Derek says, Carolyn looks at him with a total look of shock.

"You mean. I have another grandchild"

"Kind of"

"What do you mean kind of? Where is the child now? Is it a boy or girl?"

"Mom, calm down, please"

"Calm down"

"Mom, there is something else" Carolyn looks at him, has Derek continues to talk. "We had a little boy, Mer called him Liam" Derek pulls out the photo from his wallet, and shows his mom"

"Derek, he is gorgeous, how old is in that picture?"

"He would be 7 months old"

"What does he look like now, is he here?"

"I like to think that he is here with us" Carolyn looks at Derek had those he is mad. "Mom, Liam died a month after this photo was taken"

"Died?"

"Yeah, cot death"

"Oh my god, poor Meredith, she had to go through that all alone"

"She did, she had it really rough after that, it has only been recently that she has been able to let him go"

"Poor thing"

"Meredith thinks that you will hate her"

"Why would she think that?"

"I think she always expect that of people, she thought that I would be mad at her"

"Were you?"

"A little, but I think I was more disappointed than anything else, I love her, and in a way I think that made me fall in love with her that little bit more, I just wish that she never had to cope with his death on her own"

"Do you mind if I ask where he is buried too?"

"Here in Boston mom, I was going to ask if you wanted to visit him"

"I would love to visit my grandson, Derek," Carolyn tells him, Derek pays the bill, and Derek and Carolyn walk out into the Boston sunshine.


	44. Wedding Day Pt 1

**Enjoy!**

It was the day of the wedding, Meredith woke up in her bed alone, she hasn't slept well that night, she had gotten use to in the past week or so, sleeping with Derek, and she now hated sleeping without him. She pulled on her robe, and she could hear Izzie and Ellen talking and laughing in the kitchen. Meredith walked into the kitchen throwing Iz and Ellen a small smile.

"How did you sleep, Mer?" Izzie asked, offering her a plate of blueberry pancakes, which Meredith takes, giving Iz a smile, before sitting down at the table with Ellen sat opposite her and Izzie Sat on the other side.

So, mom how are you feeling?" Ellen asked, noting that it is the first time she had called Meredith that.

"I am good thank El"

"Mer you aren't nervous," Iz asked.

"Nervous, no, i am finally marrying the love of my life, what is there to me nervous about" Meredith says reaching over the table to take Ellen hand in her's. Just then, the door bell rang, Iz went to answer it giving Meredith and Ellen sometime alone.

"El, are you sure you are happy with me marrying your dad?"

"Mom, i am really happy that you and daddy have found each other again, as i told you i have heard so much about you over the years, i feel i know you better than anyone, and the way that daddy sees you. Daddy loves you more than anything and i know if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't know my dad as well as i do. I know you gave everything up for that to happen, now it time to put yourself first mom, and i am hoping one day that i can move in with you and daddy, i hate living one the vineyard"

"Just let us get settled into married life, and i am sure you dad would love you to live with us, i know i would" Meredith assured her.

Mom, when can i meet my brother?"

"Do you want too, Ellen, it not easy to go down there?"

"I want to meet Liam"

"Okay, I'll talk to your father after the wedding, but i can't see it being a problem" Meredith says before she hear Carolyn clearing her throat, Ellen stands up and goes and give her nana a hug, before Carolyn greets Meredith, by pulling her into a hug.

"Derek introduced me to Liam yesterday," Carolyn says, noticing that Meredith is in tears, she pulls her in for another hug. "Mer, i am so proud of you, you did an amazing job in the little time he was here, and I know how much he loved you"

"Thank you Carolyn" Meredith says with tears running down her face. "You aren't mad at me, for keeping this from Derek"

"Meredith, i understand why you let him go and that took a lot of courage, knowing that it meant that you would be left raising your baby alone. Obviously, i do want to talk to you about it, but today is not the day to discuss it, i am just glad to see my son happy again Meredith. It has been so long since i have seen him smile, really smile, so thank you Meredith, for bring my son back" Carolyn says to her pulling her in for another hug, until they hear Ellen coming back in.

"Mom, your bath is ready and Izzie said after she will bring your breakfast up"

"Okay, thanks El, go and get yourself some breakfast, and i'll be down soon" Ellen leaves, followed by Carolyn, Meredith sits down on the edge of her bed, looking at her phone, wondering if Derek had messaged her, but he hasn't yet.

Derek had spent the night at the Double Tree hotel in downtown Boston, with his family, except for Ellen, who wanted to stay with Meredith, he was very happy that Ellen had accepted Meredith so quickly. He had stayed on the phone to Meredith until she fell asleep, just listening to her snoring lightly down the phone, it helped him to sleep, he had missed holding her in his arms, during the night. Derek picked his phone up and went to call Meredith when there was a knock at the door, Derek chucked the phone on the bed, and answered it, hoping that it was room service, but it was Addison.

"Hey Derek, how are you feeling this morning?" Addie asked walking into his suite.

"I am fine, Addie" Derek says closing the door. "How's Mark face?"

"It will heal" Addie says unsympathetically.

"You don't sound happy"

"Derek, Mark was an ass last night, he had no right to say to you what he said, i don't blame you for punching him, he deserved it"

"Addie, he is your husband"

"He won't be for much longer, if he doesn't grow up soon, i have had enough of it Derek. Anyway enough about me and Mark, you're getting married today, i never thought i would see the day you settled down" Addison tells him

"Well, Addie its Meredith, i never wanted to marry anyone else, you know that"

"I know Derek, and unlike my husband i am happy for you" Addison tells him, resting her hand on his arm

"Thank Addison that means so much" Derek says giving her a hug.

"I will meet you in the lobby at 11, that give you three hours Derek," Addison says pulling away from him, and walking over to the door, opens it to find room service had arrive.

"Derek, i will see you later" Addison says closing the door. Room service leaves his breakfast in the room, before leaving Derek alone, he quickly dials Meredith's number and he is disappointed when it goes onto her voicemail.

"It me, i guess you are getting ready, i can't wait to see you walking down that aisle to me in a few hours, i love you" Derek says before hanging up and going to get a shower.


	45. Wedding Day Pt 2

**Enjoy!**

Meredith is alone in her room, standing in front of her full-length mirror, Izzie had just left her, after doing her makeup, and she still had ten minutes until she had to leave, she ran her hands over her dress, and could not believe that in two hours she would be Meredith Shepherd. She was finally marrying the love of her life, she was so lost in thought that she didn't hear someone knocking on her bedroom door.

"Come in" Meredith turned to find Alex coming in.

"You look beautiful Mer." Alex says giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you Alex, are you sure about giving me away today"

"Meredith i am honoured too, i am so proud of you, we all are, even though Cris doesn't say it, so is she"

"Alex, i..." Meredith can feel herself get teary; Alex walks over to her pulls her in for a hug.

"Don't get upset Mer, you will ruin your makeup," Meredith laughed. "Now that better, everyone is waiting downstairs for you"

"Okay Alex, give me five minutes and i will be right down"

"Okay that i can do Meredith." Alex says walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. She turns back to the mirror, she can't believe that she is here, marrying Derek, , her dream finally coming true, she leaves her room and walks down the stairs, she could hear everyone gasping.

"Meredith, you look stunning" Iz told her, giving her a hug.

"Thanks Iz"

"You ready, Mer" Alex says to her quietly, Meredith look up at him gratefully, and he holds out his arm and Meredith takes it.

"Where is everyone?" she asks.

"Carolyn went on ahead and Cris and Ellen are waiting outside for you." Alex said as they exited the house, and walked forward the roll Royce that is waiting for them. Ellen comes over to her first.

"Mom, you look gorgeous"

"Thanks you El"

"You scrub up well" Cristina says to her, and Meredith just laughs.

"Thanks Cris" Meredith says, has Alex helps her into the car, followed by Alex and everyone else.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Back at the hotel, Derek was due to meet everyone in the lobby, he knew Addison was down there waiting for him, along with Kevin, Kathleen husband who agree last minute to be his nest man. He couldn't wait for Meredith to become his wife, in the past three months since he saw her at the airport, he knew that this was exactly what he wanted. That first month was the hardest, when she didn't want anything to do with him, that she wouldn't talk to him, it had hurt him, but he never doubted that they would get to this point. It was a little faster than he thought, but when Meredith proposed him on that beach only weeks ago, he wanted to make it special. He finally felt like this life was coming together and nothing was going to stop him from marrying her, he smoothed his hands over his suit, because heading down to the lobby.

Addison met him off the elevator, and he could see his brother in laws waiting for him, he smiled at Addison, has he walked out of the hotel, on his way to marry the love of his life.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith arrived at Independence Harbour, and has they drove through everyone was in awe at how beautiful it was.

"Wow, Mer, its beautiful" Izzie exclaimed. "Did Derek find this?"

"He organised everything so i have no idea what any of it is going to look like"

"Mer, that is so romantic" Izzie gushed.

"Please tell Barbie to stop, i think i just vomited in my mouth a little." Cris says, causing everyone to look at her.

"Cris for once be normal" Izzie throws at her, Cris is about to say something back but Meredith stops her.

"Guys, please, this is my wedding day please can we please just not bicker for one day; that is all i am asking for?" Meredith asked them. Izzie and Cristina just nodded. The car came to a stop, when they see Derek standing outside; Alex passes Meredith his jacket, so Derek can't see Meredith dress before he climbs out and walks over to Derek.

"Derek, what are you doing here, you aren't suppose to see Meredith before the wedding, its bad luck"

"Alex, Meredith needs to sign some paperwork before they will marry us" Derek tells him, waving to Meredith who is still in the car.

"I can take care of that, i will take Meredith and we will see you in 30 minutes." Alex tells Derek, he can see that Derek isn't happy about it, but Derek also knows that he has no chance of convincing him otherwise. Just, then Addison comes out and whispers something in Derek's ear, and Derek nods at her, before turning back to Alex and saying.

"Tell Mer i love her, and i can't wait to marry her"

"I will, now go" Alex watches has Addison takes Derek inside, before opening the car door and helping Meredith out, he tells what Derek told him, and they go into sign the paperwork that she needed to sign before the ceremony. Meredith is shown to the bridal suite where she has to wait for 10 minutes before the ceremony starts.


	46. Wedding Day Pt 3

Derek was stood at the end of the else waiting for her, the ceremony was about start, he was talking to Kevin, but a part of him couldn't help but wish Mark was by his side, Mark was always suppose to be his best man, just like he was Mark's when he married Addison. He was disappointed in Mark, that he couldn't accept Meredith, knowing how much it had hurt him, being away from her for all those years, but he wasn't about to let him ruin best the day of his life, the day that he had been waiting for, for so long.

The music started and Derek stood facing the aisle, then Ellen came from the behind all the guests, she looked so beautiful in her bridesmaid dress, she waves to her father, and he smiled back, he barely notice Izzie and Cristina, he looked to the back of aisle just has Meredith came into view. She took his breath away, she looked so beautiful on Alex's arm, has she walked towards him he couldn't take his eyes of her, she smiled at him, he smiled back, and then she was stood right next to him, he took her hand and quietly thanks Alex.

"You look so beautiful Meredith, i missed you" Derek said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips

"You look handsome yourself, i missed you too"

"You ready for this Meredith"

"I am" Meredith says, has they both turned to face the minister.

"We are gathered here today in front of your guests to celebrate the union of Meredith Ellis Grey and Derek Christopher Shepherd into marriage. Firstly, i need to ask if anyone here knows of any reason why Meredith and Derek shouldn't be joined in marriage" Derek smiles at Meredith. "I have been informed that you both have your own vows written, so Derek would you like to go first" Derek turns to Meredith.

"Meredith, this is the day i have been waiting for, you are my friend, my lover, my soul mate, the love of my life. I love you more every day, and you have made me so happy coming back into my life, you have made me a better person, a better father. You are my family Meredith, you and Ellen, and in front of all of your friends, family and our children, i promise to never let you go again, i love you" Derek can feel his eyes water has he recites his vows, he holds Meredith's tightly.

"Derek, without you my life was nothing, that moment i heard your voice on that phone, i felt alive again, that was the happiest moment of my life other than the day our son was born. Derek you were always it for me, my soul mate, i always knew that there for never anyone else for me, i was prepared to spend the rest of my life alone, because no one ever came close to you, but i am so glad i found you again. I am finally home, Derek, you and Ellen are my home, and i love you both so much." Derek reaches over a wipes away the tears that falls, so grateful that she had mention Ellen in her vows.

"Now is the exchanging of the rings, Derek would go first" the minister says. Derek turns to Kevin who gives him the ring.

"Meredith, with this ring i promise love, honour and cherish you for all the days of my life, as my wife" Derek says placing the ring on her finger.

"Derek, here in this beautiful garden, in front of our friends and family, i give you this ring to has a symbol of our marriage and of my enduring love"

"By the power invested me by the state of Massachusetts, i now pronounce you husband and wife, you made now kiss your wife" Derek pulls Meredith close to him, and leans down capturing her lips, with his own, Meredith's arms snaked up around his neck, pulling him closer has they share their first kiss has husband and wife. Derek pulls away slightly, resting his forehead against her.

"I love you, my wife"

"I love you, my husband"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith, Derek and Ellen walked into the banquet room before all the other guests arrived, Ellen sat down, giving Derek and Meredith a few minutes alone.

"I meant what i said Meredith, you look so beautiful"

"Thanks you" Meredith says before kissing her husband. Completely forgetting that Ellen was in the room with them, until they heard her clear her throat.

"Sorry El" Derek said, still looking it at Meredith.

"It's okay dad, but if you are going to jump each other please wait until i am out of the room, i don't want to entertain the thought of my father having sex, thank you"

"Sorry Ellen" Mer said giggling, has Derek just groaned.

"Meredith are you sure you don't mind waiting for the honeymoon?" Derek asked her.

"Derek, you need to get back to filming, and i have a lot work that i left in my office, i can wait until Christmas for the honeymoon, has long as it is nice and hot"

"I promise you, it will be, i love you"

"I love you too" Meredith says before all the guests come in, they are both surprise to see Mark coming in with Addison.

"Mark, what are doing here?" Derek says, with a pissed off tone.

"Meredith, i am so sorry for my behaviour the past couple of months, i was trying to protect Derek, i just hope that one day you can forgive me" Mark asks her.

"Mark, i know you were trying to protect him, and i have let it go, for Derek sake, but you have hurt me, you should know more than anything how much it hurt and broke me to leave Derek. I can forgive you, for the simple reason i love him so much" Meredith tells him.

"Yeah well i can't" Derek says.

"Derek" Mer warns him.

"No, Meredith, a simple apology isn't going to cut it this time. Mark, Meredith might be so ready to forgive you, but i ain't ready right now. If you want to stay that is fine for the reception that is fine, be with your wife, before she leaves your sorry ass, but right now, i don't want anything to do with you, so don't bother even trying. I was always there was for you and excepted the same off you, since I thought you was my best friend, my best man I was so clearly mistaken" Derek says before walking away with Meredith following him.

"Derek, what was that all about?" Meredith asks. Curious to what happened the night before, she was a little shocked to see Kevin stood next to him has his best man and not Mark.

"Meredith, i love you and he need to accept you whether he like it or not, it not up to him, god know i want his support in this, in our marriage but if he can't forgive and forget like i have than it is his problem not ours. Now it is our wedding day, let's enjoy ourselves. Deal?"

"Deal" Meredith says before kissing him and sitting down at the table before the rest of the guests starts coming in.


	47. Reception

**A Long update, i could really cut it without making the next part really short, so i kept it how it is. The song used is Toim McGraw and Faith Fill , It's Your Love. Enjoy!**

.com/watch?v=ohC7o_PPPtY&feature=related

**Dancing**

**in the dark, middle of the night  
Taking your heart and holding it tight  
Emotional touch, touching my skin  
And asking you to do what you've been doing all over again**

**Oh, it's a beautiful thing  
Don't think I can keep it all in  
I just gotta let you know  
What it is that won't let me go**

(Chorus)  
It's your **love****, it just does something to me  
It sends a shock right through me  
I can't get enough  
And if you wonder about the spell I'm under  
Oh,It's your ****love**

****

Better than I was, more than I am  
And all of this happend by taking your hand  
And who I am now is who I wanted to be  
And now that we're together  
I'm stronger than ever, I'm happy and free

**Oh, it's a beautiful thing  
Don't think I can keep it all in (Oh)  
And if you ask me why I've changed  
All I gotta do is say your sweet name**

**(Chorus)  
Oh, Baby**

**  
It's a beautiful thing  
Don't think I can keep it all in  
I just gotta let you know  
What it is that won't let me go**

(Chorus)

It's your love  
It's your love

**The music starts has Meredith and Derek talk to the dance floor, to dance their first song as husband and wife, Derek pulls Meredith close to him, has she buries her head in his shoulder, has they move around the dance floor.**

"Mer…you okay"

"Yeah I am fine, I just can feel everyone staring at me, it makes me feel uncomfortable"

"I know, but let enjoy it our first dance together"

"I love you"

"I love you too, Mer. I can't wait to get you out of that dress" Meredith lifts are head up and looks into his eyes

"Derek, behave yourself" Meredith giggled quietly.

"You look totally ravishing, i can't wait until i finally get you upstairs, i want you so much"

"Seriously Derek, your mother and daughter is over there" Meredith says just has the music stops, and the next song begins. Neither of them notice the change in music, has they are lost in each other arms, has they start to kiss, until they hear someone clearing there throat behind them.

"Do you mind if i cut in?" Alex asks, Derek indicatively pulls her close to him, Meredith just laughs.

"Of course you can Alex, Derek just doesn't like to share" Meredith says pulling away from Derek and taking Alex's hand, has Ellen joins her father on the dance floor.

After everyone had danced with the bride and groom, they find themselves back in each other arms.

"I missed you"

"Derek, i was only over there," Meredith says indicating with her head to where she was.

"Yeah but you weren't in my arms"

"Derek, i love you, but you are an idiot sometimes"

"You can't call your husband an idiot on your wedding day"

"I think you find i that can, my idiot" Meredith giggles, before Derek leant down capturing her lips with his own, Meredith bring her arms up around his neck, deepened the kiss quickly before pulling away, Meredith smiles at leads him to table. Kevin stands up a clear his throat, has the DJ turns the music off.

"As most of you know I wasn't supposed to standing here as Derek best man, so I haven't got a speech prepare, so I am just going to say what I have seen, in these past few days. Meredith I have to thank you for coming back into Derek's life, you make him happier than I have ever seen him, maybe except for the day his daughter was born. I can see how much he loves you, so I hope that you both have many happy years together, and on behalf on my wife, I want to say Thank you Meredith, for bring him back. To Meredith and Derek" Kevin says holding his glass up.

"To Meredith and Derek" everyone says in unison, Derek leans over a kisses Meredith, before handing up himself.

"I want to thank you all for joining us on the most happiest day if our lives and at such short notice, firstly I want to thank my daughter Meredith, who has many of can guess, who I named her after, for welcoming Meredith into our family with open arms, I am so proud of you darling. Now to my wife, I never thought that I would be calling Meredith Grey, my wife one day, you make me the happiest man alive my marrying me today, I have lived with you in my life twice now, and I have also lived without you, something I am never willing to go through again. You are breathe of air, my soul mate, you made me feel so alive when you are by my side, I love you Meredith Shepherd, with all my heart, and I will never stop" Derek says, feeling the tears running down his cheek, but didn't care, Meredith stood up and kissed him ever so gently on the lips.

"That was cheesey, Der" she said against his lips. Meredith pulls away from him before making her own speech.

"I know that this isn't traditional, but has many of you know, nothing in my life has been traditional. Since there is no father of the bride here to make this speech I figured I would.

Derek, I have loved for you for so many years, I am not half the person I could be, when I'm not with you, you make me feel complete, loved and safe, you find me beautiful, and never forget to tell me, something I have not had since my father died. After everything I did, you still love me, a love that I never thought I deserved and a part of me is waiting for the fairytale to end, and for you to realise what a mistake you have made my marrying me, but I also know that that will never happen, I love you Derek Shepherd. Ellen, thank you for the welcome you have gave me into your family, looking at you today, I know the choice I made was the right one, I love you so much El" Meredith said, the tears now running down her face, and Derek holding her.

"Everyone enjoy the party" Derek tells them has the music starts up again.

* * *

The rest of the evening goes by so quickly, Derek can't keep his eyes of his wife, who is dancing with Cris, Izzie and Ellen on the dance floor, he watches Mark from the corner of his eye, and this is the one day he needs his best friend, but he isn't ready to forgive Mark right now, he mom walks over to him.

"Derek"

"Hey mom, you enjoyed the wedding?"

"I did, it was beautiful, can't believe you planned it so fast"

"I wasn't about to wait mom, I have waited so long for this day"

"I know, son, I am so happy for you"

"Thank you mom, you have no idea what that means to me" Derek says to his mom, has Meredith walked over to her husband and mother in law, giving Derek a quick kiss on the lips, and turned to Mrs Shepherd.

"Carolyn, I hope you enjoy it today"

"I have thank you Meredith, it was beautiful"

"It was, who would ever think that a man would be so good at organising a wedding" Meredith giggled, leaning further into Derek.

"Derek, you ready to go soon" Meredith whispered in his ear, while nibbling at his earlobe.

"I need to take the garter off first, and you need to throw the bouquet" has Derek said that the music stopped, has Izzie and Cristina stepped on to the mic.

"I think it time for Meredith to throw the bouquet," Izzie said to the ladies in the party. "So, all you single ladies get up onto the dance floor, including you Cristina" Cris starts to argue with her until she see the I am not taking any crap, and get up on that dance floor look from Izzie, so decides not to argue with her. Meredith tosses the bouquet, and Christina's ends up catching it, Izzie, and Meredith both laugh, Cristina is far from impressed.

It is the men turns to get on to the dance floor, Derek goes under Meredith dress, taking the chance, to pull her white lacy pants to one side, before running his tongue over her moist folds, before shimmering down to her garter and pulling it down, her leg and tossing it into the crowd of men that were waiting.

Derek stands up, to see Meredith smolding stare, staring back at him.

"Are you ready to leave?"

"Thanks to your little trick, you have no idea"

"I can't wait, my wife" Everyone comes over giving their congratulations to the happy couple before they leave the reception, once they finally leave, they climb into the roll Royce that Derek had hired earlier to take them to the hotel and to the honeymoon suite for the night.


	48. Wedding Night Pt 1

**Another update for today. Enjoy!**

Once they had booked in to Taj Boston, they were shown up to the presidential suite, both of them wishing that the bellboy wasn't in the lift with them. Meredith was stood in front of Derek; has he kept nibbling on her earlobe, and the back of her neck. They were so relieved when the elevator pinged and they were shown to their suite, Meredith was in total awe at the suite, a bottle of champagne was in the middle of the room, Derek tips the bellboy, who then leaves the suite, finally leaving them alone.

"So, Mrs Shepherd" Derek says, has Meredith turns around to him. "What do you say that we get you out of that dress?" Derek says unzipping the dress, has he captures her lip with his, Meredith start undo his tie, working her way down to his trousers, Derek steps out of them, has Meredith steps out of her dress, and away from Derek.

"I am just popping to the bathroom, pour of some champagne, and I'll be right back" Meredith says grabbing her bag and walking towards the bathroom. She few moment later, she comes out of the bathroom in a white baby doll nightie, Derek is speechless.

"Well, aren't you going to say something, Derek" Meredith says has she smiles at Derek speechlessness. Derek walks over to her in just his boxers, running his hand through her hair, before pulling her close to him, and kissing her, hard.

"You are gorgeous Mrs Shepherd, Derek said grinning, and handing her a glass of champagne, Derek holds up his glass and clink it against Meredith's.

"To our future, I love you"

"To us, I love you too" Meredith says before taking a sip and putting her glass down, Derek does the same, their lips crashes together, Derek lifts Meredith up, has she puts wraps her legs around his waist. Derek carries her over to the bed, and places her on it, she kisses her on the lips, working his way down to her neck, sucking and nipping on her neck, he pulls down the cups of the baby doll. Sucking lightly on each of her nipples, giving it the both of them the same attention, before working down over her stomach, hearing Meredith soft moans, enticing him even more, running his tongue inside of her belly button, before working down to her hot, wet core, his tongue ran over her wet folds.

"Der…" Mer moans, grabbing the bed sheets, has his tongue continues to work over her clits, before plunging it inside of her.

"Fuck…DEREK…" Mer screams out has she starts to tremble underneath his skilful tongue working in and out of her core, his hands massaging the spot, which makes her cum harder. Her hands tangled in his curls, has she reached her orgasm, spilling into Derek's mouth. Derek licks her cleans, before she pulls him closer to her, kissing him, tasting herself in his mouth.

Meredith rolls him over so she is on top, straddling him, kissing him, deeply, he takes down his boxer, and his hard thick cock springs free from it confines, Meredith wraps her hand around his cock, and starting pumping his cock with her hands, before taking it in, her mouth, swirling her tongue around his member. Meredith ran her tongue over the tip of his cock, licking on the pre cum, and playing with his balls with her free hand.

"Mer…" Derek called out, has she continued to suck hard on his cock.

"Fuck, Mer"

"MEREDITH…" he calls out has he spills into her mouth, Meredith swallowing and licking him clean before Derek pulls her up to him, and kisses her.

"I love you Mrs Shepherd"

"I love you too" Meredith says curling into Derek's side, Derek fed her a strawberry, before running the strawberry down over her chest, between her breasts, and down over her stomach down to her core, before turning her onto her back and licking it off, causing Meredith to giggle. Derek kisses her, before slowly entering her, the first time has husband and wife, they kiss, they both want to take it slowly, savour it, almost like it is the first time, and in some way it is. Derek starts to move slowly inside of her, Meredith runs her hands over his board shoulders and down his well defined back, slightly digging her nails into his back, Derek runs a hand through her hairs, has he pumps into her, she lifts her hip of the bed causing Derek to go keep inside of her.

"Derek"

"Mer" Derek places a finger over her clit gently massaging it in a circular direction.

"Der..."

"Oh...Mer"

"DEREK" Mer shouts out, Derek can feel himself reaching his peak.

"OH GOD...MEREDITH"

"FUCK...DEREK"

"MEREDITH" Derek screams, has he release into her.

"DEREK" Meredith screams has she reaches her peak, Derek gently collapses on top of her, staying inside of her, kissing, Derek hands running through Mer hair, while Meredith runs her fingers through his dark curls, Derek gently pulls out of her, and pulling her close, they both doses off.


	49. Wedding Night Pt 2

**Part 2. Enjoy!**

Derek woke up several hours later, to find himself alone in bed, Meredith side of the bed cold, at first he thought that it was all a dream, that the past two months had never happened until he saw the wedding band on his finger. He got out of bed, and pulled on a robe, before walking out toward the balcony, where he knew his wife was, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Penny for your thoughts" Derek said kissing her neck

"Derek" Meredith says quietly.

"Meredith, are you alright?" Derek asked her

"Derek i am good, i promise"

"Then, what wrong?"

"Nothing" Meredith tries to convince him, until he steps in front of her, and can see her tear-streaked face.

"Meredith, why are you crying?" Derek asked, lifting her face to see was looking at him.

"I am sorry, Derek, i was just thinking..."

"About Liam" Derek finished for her.

"Yep" Meredith says mournfully, Derek pulls her into his arms.

"It's okay Mer, i was thinking of him today, we aren't going to forget about him" Derek assured her.

"I know, but we got married today, I shouldn't be cryingDer" Meredith smiles up at him, kissing his lightly on the lips.

"Meredith, technically we got married yesterday...but Liam is our son, you are allowed to miss him"

"Derek, he was there , I know he was"

"Good" Derek said with a small smile and leant down and kissed her, Meredith deepened it, Derek lifts Meredith up, Meredith wraps her legs around his waist, and carries her back over to the bed, where he lies her down, and undoes her robe, scanning her body.

"You are so beautiful, my gorgeous wife" Derek says taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking on it, Meredith closes her eyes, has he does the same to the other nipple, sending little shocks all over her body, has she feel the fire getting hotter and hotter, Derek looks at her, and Meredith pulls him up to her, bring her lips to his, and kissing harder than ever before. Derek swiftly entered her, has she lifted her hip up to meet him.

Meredith rocks her hips, causing Derek to stop her.

"Mer..."

"What?"

"I don't have a condom on"

"Derek, what would you say if i told you i wanted a baby?" Meredith asked, approaching the subject.

"Really" Derek asked with a huge smile.

"That is if you want one...forget about it...i knew it was silly..." Derek kisses her to quieten her.

"Of course I want another baby with you?"

"Are you sure? Wouldn't it be weird?" Meredith said quickly.

"Meredith, I love you, but shut up. I have always want a baby with you, and yes we had Liam but this time, i want to be there, for every craving, every scan, every kick, and have you screaming at me, blaming me for getting you pregnant. I want all that. I love you so damn much Mer"

"So, we are having a baby?"

"We are having a baby, but can I ask you one thing?" Derek repeating, kissing his wife, with a huge smile.

"Of course"

"Let's give it a couple a months; once we are on our honeymoon, we can try for a baby, i just want a few months on our own" Derek told her

"So do I, Derek, we haven't had each other for long and beside i am still on the pill. Are you sure you want my crappy babies with my crappy DNA"

"Meredith, I would love to have your crappy babies with our DNA" Derek said kissing her, running his fingers through her hair, has he starts to move inside of her, Meredith nails digging into his back has she arc her back off the bed.

"Der..."

"Meri..."

"Oh god..." Meredith calls out, has Derek starts to flick her clit with his finger, Derek can feel her walls starting to tighten around his thick cock, knowing that if she did it anymore, he would explode.

"Don't do that, I am not going to be able to hold off much longer, Mer"

"Derek...OH GOD" Mer screams out has she starts to tremble underneath him.

"MER..." Derek called out has he spilled into her, collapsing on top of her they kissed, and Derek pulled out when he felt himself go flaccid.

"I love you, Mrs Shepherd"

"I love you Mr Shepherd"


	50. Married Life

**Enjoy the fluff...some drama is coming next.**

It had been week since they got married and it was their first weekend home, Meredith had moved in Derek's house rather than her aprtment and they decided to live full time in Malibu, Derek had put his house in the Hills for sale. Meredith had two more days before she had to go back to work, it was 8 am on a Saturday morning, Meredith reached over to Derek side of the bed, but it was empty.

Meredith sat up in the bed, the bedroom door was open but she couldn't hear the radio playing which was unlike Derek, he always loved having music on in the morning, she climbed out of bed and into the living area, she glanced outside on the deck, and could see Derek glancing out over the ocean with a book in his hand. Meredith stood in the doorway watching her husband, until he lifted his head up and his eyes met her's.

"Morning" Meredith said sitting down in his lap. "What are doing out here?"

"I couldn't sleep"

"You should have woke me" Meredith said kissing him.

"You looked so peaceful, i didn't want to disturb you," Derek told her, caressing her cheek, and giving her a smile.

"Why can't you sleep?" Meredith asked him.

"Let not worry about it for today"

"Derek, we promised to tell each other everything, so please don't hide it from me"

"Meredith, i am not hiding anything i just have some stuff on my mind, but i promise you, i will tell you, i just need to make sure that everything will be alright first." Derek pulls Meredith in for a kiss. "So, what do you want to do today?"

"I can think of a few things first" Meredith said straddling him.

"I think you can" Derek says, has he runs his fingers over her still swollen clit, burying his nose in her hair has Meredith hand wrapped around his cock, freeing him from his confines, Meredith hovers slightly above his cock, before slowly slipping it into her core.

"I love you Derek" Meredith murmured to Derek has she began to move her hips, Derek places his hand on her hips, Meredith wraps her legs around his waist, and Derek carries her into the bedroom. Laying her down on the bed, he kisses her, and has their tongues continue to explore each other's mouths, has he began to pump into her, taking a nipple in his mouth, sucking on it.

"Derek" Meredith moaned his name, has he starts to go faster inside of her.

"Mer"

"Fuck"

"MER" Derek screamed as he felt himself release into her.

"DEREK..." Mer screamed has her walls collapse around him, and she came around him. Derek pulled out of her, and rolled off her not wanting to crush her, and she rested her head on his chest, Derek kissed the top of her head, Meredith could tell something wrong with Derek since he was so quiet.

"Derek i am worried, you are never this quiet" Meredith says to him looking him in the eye.

"I am just worried about some stuff to do with the show, but i want to spend this weekend with my wife, since Ellen is joining us for the holidays, so lets make the most of this weekend"

"Okay, but promise me you will talk to me about this"

"Meredith i promise but not today"

"Okay, so what are we doing today?"

"Well, that my love will be a surprise"

"I don't like surprises"

"Ouch, that hurt, so you didn't like our wedding"

"I loved our wedding; it was the second best day of my life"

"The second?" Derek pouts, Meredith just laughs at him.

"After our son was born"

"Well, in which case, i don't mind our wedding day being second best to you, but it is the first best to me"

"I thought you wouldn't" Meredith smiled at him; Derek leant down and kissed her.

"Have you got your dress for the premiere tonight?"

"I have, I brought it yesterday, and Izzie came down and help me choose it"

"Can I see it?"

"Nope, not until tonight" Derek pouts, Meredith giggles at him, and untangles herself from Derek, climbing out of the bed she walks towards the bathroom, Meredith turns back to Derek, who is still laying in bed pouting.

"Are you going to lie their pouting, or are you going to join me in the shower?" Mer giggles climbing in to the shower just moments later Derek wrapped his arms around her waist and kisses her.


	51. Where are you?

**The start of some drama...but trust me. Enjoy!**

Later that evening, Meredith had just climbed out of the shower to find that Derek wasn't home yet, he had gone out to see Mark and was due back an hour ago. In two hours they had the premiere and she was starting to worry. She quickly dialled his cell, but got no answer, which was unusual has he always answered his phone, she grabbed her robe, and walked out into the living area, grabbing the house phone, and calling Mark.

"Hello" she heard the male voice on the end breathlessly.

"Mark, it Meredith"

"Hey Meredith"

"Have you seen Derek?"

"Not since he left, that was over two hours ago, Meredith"

"He hasn't come home, and we are going out in a couple of hours"

"Meredith, don't worry I am sure he will home soon"

"Thanks, bye Mark" Meredith simply says, she has this gut wrenching feeling that something was wrong but she ignored it, telling herself that Derek will be home soon, she goes and gets herself ready knowing that Serena will be here soon.

* * *

An hour had passed, and she was starting to get ready worried now, there was still no answer, and she was getting pissed, when there was a knock at the knock, causing Mer to jump. She ran to the door, hoping it was Derek, that he had just forgotten his keys, but it was Serena, Serena noticed the look of disappointment on her face.

"Not happy to see me Meredith", Serena said has Meredith let her in.

"I'm sorry Serena; I was hoping you were Derek"

"Why? Where is he?"

"I can't get hold him, he left here this afternoon to pop around and see Mark, i decided to stay here, since me and Mark don't get along and no one has seen him since" Serena sits down next to Meredith, hand on her shoulder.

"Mer, he has probably gone out to surprise you"

"He would have rang me if he was going to be late it is not like him, not to call. Why isn't he picking up his phone?"

"Meredith, I am sure there is a reasonable explanation. Do you want to skip the premiere and we just stay here and have a girly night until Derek gets home"

"You know what, let's go and have a good night, I am all dressed up. You head out to the car, and I will be out in a second" Meredith watches has she leaves the house, pulling out her cell phone, dialling Derek's number, waiting for it to go on voicemail.

"Derek Shepherd, you better have a damn good explanation for why you aren't picking up your phone, I am so pissed off at you right now. I am going to premiere with Serena, and I suggest wherever the fuck you are; don't bother coming home" Meredith says angrily, taking up and throwing her phone on the sofa.

**DUN...DUN...DUN...DUN...**


	52. An accident

**Continuing the drama. Enjoy!**

"Where the hell are you? You son of a bitch" Meredith says furiously has she sat up in the bed.

"Mer...please...don't? Derek says sounding upset, but Meredith is too mad to notice.

"Don't what, Derek?...Get mad, i think i have every right too, you don't bother coming home, or even ringing me to let me know, i have been sick with worry all night, you asshole and nw you won't even tell me where you are?"

"Meredith"

"Stop Meredithing me...are you seeing someone else" Meredith says angrily.

"Oh god, Mer no" Derek heart broke a little, making her think that, he knew that he was wrong not to call her, but if he was honest it never crossed his mind.

"Then where are you?" she asks has the tears begin to fall.

"I am in San Francisco, baby"

"San Francisco?"

"Yeah, Mer there was an accident"

"An accident...who" Mer asked, afraid of the answer there was only one reason he would rushed off like that to San Francisco.

"Elle was in an accident with her mom" Derek said has he broke down on the phone.

"Oh god, Der...i am so sorry" Meredith felt awful jumping to all those conclusions.

"Can you come up, i need you Mer?"

"Derek stupid question, i will get the first flight out"

"It's okay Mer, the plane should arrive at Burbank airport in a little under a hour"

"What hospital are you at?"

"SF Memorial"

"Listen i will see you in a couple of hours Derek...and Derek..."

"Yeah"

"I love you"

"I love you too, see you soon"

Several hours later, the car Derek had hired for her, pulled up in front of the hospital, it was 6 in the morning, and the front of the hospital was already filled with journalists, the news had only broke an hour before. She quickly climbed out of the car, grateful that they didn't know she was married to Derek, she just wanted to get inside and hold her. Once she got to the hospital door, one of Derek's security officers stepped forward.

"Meredith"

"Bill, where is he?"

"He is up with Elle right now; he only left her side to ring you"

"How does it look? Bill and i want the truth"

"I honestly don't know Mer, he won't talk" Bill stopped outside of a room, and crooked his head to where Derek was sitting holding his daughter's hand, and his other hand stroking her hair. Meredith mouthed thank you and walked into the room.

As she stepped inside the room, she saw Ellen laid in the bed, with tubes everywhere, Derek was stumped over her on the chair, her heart broke just feeling Derek's pain, a part of her wanted to run, it reminded her of Liam, but Derek needed her. She walked up beside him, but Derek was so focused in his daughter he didn't even notice until Meredith kissed the top of his head, Derek wrapped his arms around her waist and pulling her down on his lap, and he broke down and cried. Meredith held him tight, not speaking just comforting him, she didn't know how long she held him for has he broke down in her arms

"Mer i am sorry, is this how you felt when Liam died"

"It not the same, Derek, but yeah, i felt like my whole life was over when i lost him.

"I am kind of getting why you have been so affected all these years, if i lost her"

"Sshhh that isn't going to happen, it was different Der, he was 8 months, she is 15"

"I just wish i was there for you, Meredith," he said gently looking into her eyes, and gently caressing her cheek.

"You were Der, in here," she said putting her hand on her heart.

"Every single day you were in here, when he died in my arms, at the funeral when i laid him to rest, and every day i mourn for him, you are always with me" Mer told him, he was so grateful to her has she continued to hold him, knowing how hard it must be for her.

"I am so sorry i didn't ring you, i thought Mark might have"

"Excuse me, he knew" Mer tried not to sound so pissed off about it, she knew he hated her, but not to tell her this was unforgivable but she didn't say anything not wanting to upset Derek further.

"All he knew for their was an accident"

"Why would Mark ring me, he hates me"

"Mer, he doesn't"

"Derek don't worry about it" she said with a smile and kissed him gently, she put her hand under his so that Elle hand was in between theirs. "What happened?" she asked.

"Carole was driving back to the vineyard from Napa when there was a head on collision, Carole was thrown from the car.

"Have you been in to see her?" she asked, Derek shook his head. "Derek go and see her, she has no family, tell her to fight, i will watch Elle" Derek shakes his head, Meredith drags him from her room. "Derek have you called her family?"

"She doesn't have any, Mer"

"Derek go and sit with her, let her know that she isn't on her own"

"I love you so much i hope you know that"

"I do, Derek, and i love you and that girl in there, now go and make sure her mother is alright" Derek leans down and kissed her gratefully on the lips, before walking into the nest room. Meredith made her way into Ellen's room, she sits in the chair that Derek had previously occupied and took Elle hand in her own, and smoothed her hair, he looked at her, reminding her of Liam.

"Hey baby, it mom, i am so sorry i didn't come up with your father last night, it is time to wake up now Elle, daddy misses you, and so do i, we want you to get well again, i love you so much sweetheart, please wake up, i can't lose you too. Daddy gone to see how your mother's doing, we want you back with us" Meredith, croaked out has the tears began to fall, just has Derek walked back into the room, he came to Meredith's side, and kissed the top of her head.

"Can we talk outside please?" Meredith nodded, gave Elle a kiss on the forehead, before following Derek outside.

"Derek, what is going on?"

"I spoke to Carole doctor, and Carole is brain dead, they want to turn off her machine, but only Meredith can give permission"

"They expect a 15 year old girl to turn off her mom's life support machine effectively ending her life" Derek nods, sits down on the chair behind them, burying his head in his hand. Meredith sits next to him, running her fingers through his hair until he lifted his head to look at his wife.

"What would i do without you?"

"Crash and burn" Mer replies with a small smile, Meredith kisses Derek on the lips quickly and they rests their foreheads together, gazing into each other's eyes, getting lost and bring comfort to the both of them, until they hear a monitor crashing and crash team rushing past them.


	53. I'm sorry

Derek ran into Ellen's room, Meredith tried to stop him but he wasn't having any of it, it took her a few minutes to get him back out of her room, has he broken down in her arms. She held him, has Derek just cried, Meredith knew that she needed to be the stronger person here, she guided Derek over to the seat, as he buries his head in his hands. Meredith noticed the doctor come out of Ellen's room and she walked up to him.

"Mrs Shepherd"

"How is she?"

"We managed to get her heart stable, and she breathing on her own but there is still swelling on the brain, we are hoping to take into surgery when it has stopped swelling, i will check in on her in the morning"

"Thank Doctor Livingston" Mer says with a smile, before heading back over to Derek.

"Der" she says gently, he simply stands up and walks into Ellen's room without saying a word to Meredith, she stood in the doorway, watching her husband taking his daughter hand, and whispering to her, has she watched father and daughter, she knew that finally she had to tell Carole, Ellen's mother. She walked out of the room and into Carole rooms, laying eyes on her for the first time. She looked at her lying in the bed, unconscious, and felt sorry for her, how hard it must have been for her, she sat down next to her, and took her hand in her's.

"Hi Carole, I know we have never met, but I am Meredith, Derek's wife, Meredith crashed about 5 minutes ago, Derek is in there with her now, he hasn't left her side, has you can imagine, Carole, your daughter needs you so please wake up. The doctors want to take her for an operation so they can reduce some swelling in the brain. Derek would be better explained to you, but Carole your daughter needs you so please wake up" she begs her, not noticing the woman stood in the doorway watching her, has she talked to Carole, with a smile on her face, to see how beautiful and compassionate she was. The woman cleared her throat causing Meredith to look up at her .

"Carolyn, have you seen Elle yet?" Meredith said, standing up to greet her mother in law, Carolyn pulls her close and hugs her.

"How are you doing, Mer?"

"I am holding it together thanks"

"Derek told me what happened?" Mer gave her a small smile, before turning away from her.

"Did he?"

"Mer, you okay"

"I am fine"

"Meredith that has never worked on me and it isn't about to start now, so please talk to me" Meredith walked past her and out into the hallway walking away from Ellen room and onto the stairwell, where Carolyn followed her.

"Am i wrong in still being mad at him, Carolyn? He didn't even call me until the next morning, I am his wife, he should have called me, not left me back in LA think anything could have happened to him.

"No, you're not, Mer, but she is his daughter"

"Don't you think I know that, Carolyn, I love her like she was my own, but it brings back painful memories. Every time I look at her all I can see is Liam laying there," She says bursting into tears, allowing Carolyn to comfort her. After a few minutes, she pulls herself together, just has Derek bursts onto the stairwell.

"Mer, mom, she's awake" he says grabbing Meredith hand, and pulling her towards Ellen's room. Derek let go of her hand just outside of Ellen's room, she let Carolyn go in after Derek. Meredith stood outside of the room, getting herself together, before walking into Ellen room.

"Mom" she heard Elle says, walking over to her, and held her tightly.

"I was so worry about you, Elle"

"I am sorry"

"Elle don't, I love you"

"I love you too mom"

"Now get some sleep honey" she whispered to her. She turned back to Derek, who held her in his arms, still unaware what was going on in Meredith head. "Derek you really need to get some sleep"

"Mer, i can't"

"Derek, go back to the hotel with your mom, i will stay here with Ellen"

"I don't know"

"What don't you trust me with your daughter?"

"Mer, I never said that" he said the hurt flashing across his face.

"Derek, you are no good to your wife and daughter if you haven't had any sleep. Meredith will keep you informed, if anything happened" Carolyn pleaded with her son.

"Okay" Derek murmured quietly giving Ellen a quick kiss on the head, before turning back to his wife, and kissing her. "I love you"

"Me too" Meredith replied, watching him walk out of the room, has she sat on the chair next to Ellen's bed.

"Mom" Meredith heard Elle say.

"Yes sweetheart" Mer said running her hand over Ellen hair.

"Are you and daddy alright?" she asked, Meredith heart caught in her chest, at the thought that she had picked up on it.

"We are fine, sweetheart, now get some rest, i love you"

"I love you too mom" Elle said drifting back off to sleep. Meredith watches her has she sleep, her heart feeling heavy at the decision she has made. She leans in to her, whispering to her "I'm sorry".


	54. A month later

**A very short update.**

A month had passed and Ellen moved in with them when she was released from the hospital two weeks before. Carole had died two days after Ellen had woken up. Meredith stayed with them until the funeral, she didn't feel right attending it, since she never knew Carole, but Ellen had insisted that she wanted her there, and Meredith didn't want to let her down.

For the first time since she had been with Derek, she accompanied him to the vineyard that he had brought them to have his daughter close to him, after Carole funeral to pick up the rest of Ellen's stuff.

They stayed there was a couple of nights, and one evening after Ellen had gone to bed, Meredith was stood out on the porch overlooking the vines, she found it so peaceful, she was so deep in thought that she never sensed Derek approaching. Derek had come to realise how badly he had treated her over the last few weeks, and he was sorry, but he didn't know how to make it up to her. He missed her, especially at night, even though they were sleeping in the same bed; they stuck to their sides on the bed, which a huge space between them and Derek didn't like it. He missed the smell of her conditioner in the morning when they were cuddling in the morning, her beautiful smile she always gave him, especially making love to her, hearing her call out his name, has she came. Meredith was always crying herself to sleep, and Derek hated to not being able to reach out and hold her, and he knew that he was the cause of the tears; Meredith was always up before him, and spending all her time looking after Ellen, anything so she didn't have to talk to him.

"Meredith" Derek said, reaching out and touched her, causing Meredith to jump. "Sorry i didn't mean to scare you"

"I know," she said softly.

"Mer, how can i fix this?" Derek asked sounding so vulnerable, that it made her wants to reach and hold him, but she didn't, she couldn't, he had hurt her so much.

"I don't know, Derek"

"Please don't leave us Mer, we need you, i need you" he begged her.

"I am not going anywhere" she said walking back into the house.

Derek stayed outside for a while, sinking into the chair behind him, he buried his head in his hand and cried, letting out all of the emotions from the past few week. He missed his wife so much, but didn't know how to reach out to her, she was again that little bit out of reach to him.


	55. Back to normal

**Enjoy!**

By the time they return to LA, things wasn't any better between them, and Meredith actually started sleeping in her office, at least a couple of times a week, she hadn't slept properly in weeks. It was about midnight, when she heard a knock at the door, causing her to jump, especially this time of night; she gathered it was the security guard.

"Come in" she called not looking up from her paperwork. She concentrated on her work, until she smelt lavender wafting through, she looked up in to the blue eyes of the man she loved so much.

"Derek" she sounded shocked.

"I am looking for a Meredith Shepherd" Derek said with her grin on his face.

"Well, you have found her. I don't know what my husband would say" she said with a smirk, feeling relaxed for the first time in weeks.

"I think he would say that he has been an idiot, and that he really sorry, and he loves you very much"

"I would say i would agree with that assessment"

"Meredith, i am so incredibly sorry, i know i have treated you like crap, while Elle was in the hospital, i didn't mean too"

"I know that Derek, i know you were hurting, but so was i, you needed me, and i was there, but i needed you too. I know she is not my daughter, but i love her like she was, and you cutting me out hurt. Was it revenge Derek? For not letting you know Liam"

"Meredith, No, i just didn't think, when they called me to tell me that she was in an accident, i don't know, she was all i could think off, even the whole way there, it wasn't until i saw her, that i remember you, i am so sorry Mer"

"Derek, i am not mad about that, i totally understand, but the way you treated me at the hospital was out of order, you called me, you wanted me there, and yet you barely talked to me, or acknowledged my presence and when you did, you talked to me like crap"

"Mer, let me make it up to you, please come home, i can't sleep without you, and Ellen keeps asking me where you are and i hate lying to her"

"I know, you do, and i am sorry but i need time to think, Derek" Derek takes a step closer to her, so he is standing right in front of her, he gently reaches out and touch her cheek, while tilting his head and giving her the smile reserved just for her. "Don't give me that look Derek"

"What look?"

"Our look, it isn't going to work this time"

"Are you sure about that", he said, leaning in and kissing her gently on the lips, the first contact they had since that night in the vineyard, Meredith felt her heart beat faster, at the contact, she parted her mouth letting his tongue to explore her mouth, she wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Meredith moans into his mouth, feeling the heat radiating to her core, that she wrapped her legs around his waist; she could feel his erection, through her skirt, pressing again her panties. Derek simply slid them aside, and entered her, they caught their breath and just looked into each others eyes, the tension coming away from them, has Meredith and Derek enjoy being connected once, again.

"I love you Mrs Shepherd"

"I love you Mr Shepherd"

Derek gently began moving inside of her, removing her shirt, and unhooking her bra, has he took a nipple and started to suck on it Meredith slid his shirt off, over his head, running her hand over his chest, and down over his arms, has he pumps faster and faster into her.

"Oh...Derek"

"Mer...I need you"

"Derek...Please" she cried out.

"Mer..." Derek messages her clit, with his thumb, also causing her to go over the edge, she bit her lip to hold back, Derek applies more pressure, has he feels himself reaching his peak, it had been too long since he was inside of her, and he could hold it much longer, he could feel himself twitching inside her.

"DEREK..." she screams not being able to hold it off any longer.

"MER..." Derek screams has he came at the same time, they both collapse against each other, holding each other, has they catch their breath, kissing gently.

"Wow"

"I think we need to this again"

"I don't know about that Der"

"Come home with me, Mer"

"Derek"

"Mer, i sleep on the sofa, you belong at home with us, not here sleeping in your office"

"I haven't been sleeping"

"Either have i, Meredith you belong at home with us. So, please come home?"

"Okay" Derek lean and kisses her, passes her the shirt she had on, while he zipped up his pants and watched her get her gear together, and walked out hand in hand, they still have stuff to work through but finally after a month, they both felt alive.


	56. Six Flags

**Enjoy!**

The next morning, Ellen walk into the living area, to find her dad had not slept on the couch, she had gotten used to seeing his asleep on the couch, and she went into the master bathroom. She saw him and Meredith curled up together in bed, she was so relieved that Meredith was home, she had really missed her and she was glad that they had sorted things out. She gently tiptoe out of the bedroom and made herself breakfast before sitting outside overlooking the beach, she loved here and was glad that they decided to move to the beach house, but she still missed her mom, so much, it had been a month since she died, she felt the tears falls again. She felt someone put their arms around her, she looked up and saw it was Meredith, she buries her head into Meredith has she let the tears fall even harder.

"Sshhh" Meredith whispered to her has she rocked her back and forth, has she sobbed in her arms. Meredith just held her tightly letting her cry it out, she knew how hard it was for her, Meredith could sense Derek behind her, she looked up at him, with tears that she didn't realise was there, until Derek swept them away with his thumb, he gave her a quick kiss, and let her comfort his daughter.

Derek stood in the kitchen, and watched his wife and daughter made his heart soar; Meredith had been incredible with her this last month, no matter what problems they were going through, he was grateful that Ellen had someone who understood what she was going through.

Ellen finally stopped crying, and pulled away from Meredith, who still held her hand as Ellen looked out over the water.

"Thanks Mer" Ellen said, since Carole died Meredith had noticed that Ellen hadn't called her mom since, but she understood.

"Will you be alright?" Mer asked her, and Ellen nodded her head, Meredith gave her a quick head on top of her head before walking back into the house. She noticed Derek stood in the kitchen, and smiled at him.

"How is she?"

"She is still finding it hard Der, but she will for a while" Derek pulled her in close and held her in his arms.

"You have been completely wonderful with her and i really appreciate it"

"Derek, you know how i feel about her, and i understand what she is going through"

"I love you, you know that, think that was she needs"

"I love you too, Der and i hope it does get better but she just can't see that now" Derek dips his head down and kisses her gently.

"I know, but i feel soi helpless"

"Derek, you are doing great with her, look it a Sunday morning, why don't we do something together has a family, so to keep her occupied"

"Like what?" he asked.

"I have been wanted to go to Six flags Magic Mountain"

"Okay"

"Well, i will go out and tell Elle while you go and get checked" Meredith said planting a quick kiss on his cheek before she went outside to where Elle was.

* * *

Several hours later they arrived at the Six Flags Hurricane Harbour Water park, and seeing Elle face lighten up made all worth the while.

"Thanks dad" Elle said leaning over the driver seat and giving her father a kiss, before literally jumping out of the car. He leant over and gave Mer a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks for suggesting this"

"We need it Derek, and spend some time together has a family" Mer said climbing out of the car. Derek wrapped an arm around Mer's waist has they walked toward the entrance, once they entered the park, they simply followed Ellen around and went on any rides that Elle wanted to go on, since this day out was for her.

* * *

Ellen had dragged Mer on to the Black Snake Summit, Derek was left with their stuff but he didn't mind, he could see his daughter come alive even if it was only for a few hours. Derek was happy to his daughter smiling as they walked around the park, he aware that this past month hasn't been easy on her, and that she missed her mom so much. Derek also knew that the situation between him and Meredith hadn't helped the matter. Derek smiled to himself has he watched Elle drag Meredith on practically every ride; but for a few hours she was happy, and that was all that he wanted.

He watched his wife, getting just has excited has Elle was, looking so carefree, he hadn't seen her like that since they first got together, and seeing her in just shorts, and a bikini top made all the blood rush down to his cock. he knew he had to stop he didn't want to be stood in the middle of the park with a boner on, he couldn't help but stare at her ass, has she walked away from him and to the ride, he bit his lip and tried to think about something else. Derek didn't realise how much time had passed, until Meredith practically jumped in his arms, getting him all wet, gently kissing him.

"Mer"

"What?" she said innocently, with a slight smile.

"You are going to pay for that later"

"I hope so" she said, letting him go and slapping his ass before joining Ellen at another ride, Derek stood there and shook his head, before joining his daughter and wife, on the ride.


	57. Fluff

**Some mom and daughter time and some MerDer fluff. Enjoy!**

It was the week before Christmas, and it was Meredith last day at work before going to New York for a few days before going to the Maldives for their honeymoon. Meredith was sat in her office, just staring at the computer screen, she was worried about leaving Ellen at her grandmother's, it was Ellen first Christmas without her mom, and they had both offered to stay home with her, but she insisted that they go, and that she would be fine with her grandmother, aunts and cousins. She just turned off the computer has Ellen knocked and walked in.

"Hey mom" she said with a smile.

"Elle what are you doing here? You've never been here before"

"I need to go shopping so i thought maybe we could go together"

"I would love hun" Meredith said smiling, she had never done this with her before, Mer goes to pick up her bag, just has her phone rings. "One sec, huni. Hello, Meredith Shepherd speaking"

"Ms Shepherd, can i extend an invitation out for Saturday night, we Miss Stevens, Miss Yang and Mr Karev" Meredith laughs at Alex at the end of the phone.

"Alex, very funny"

"Well, you sounded so professional Mer, i couldn't help myself"

"Well, it got your kick Alex"

"So you up for it then?"

"Up for what?"

"Saturday night, you, Izzie, Cristina and myself hitting some bars around Manhatten, we've missed you Mer"

"Even Cristina?"

"Yep, not that she would tell us"

"That is Cristina, i can't see it being a problem Alex, i will need to check with Derek to make sure that no plans have been made for Saturday"

"Asking the hubby for permission now Mer?" Alex said jokingly.

"Very funny Alex, i will speak to you on Saturday and let you know"

"Okay, bye"

"Bye" Mer said hanging up the phone, she did really miss them all, Meredith turned around to Elle, and gave her a smiles.

"Let's go, shall we?" Meredith says following Ellen out of the office, and locking her door.

* * *

Several hours later, Meredith and Ellen had finished shopping and were heading home, they both really enjoyed their shopping trip together, they had never done it before, but they found themselves bonding even more. By the time they pulled up to the house, they were laughing. They could hear Derek was home by the music that was blasting from the kitchen, Ellen groaned.

"Can't Dad ever play sometime else?"

"Nope, I've tried" Mer told her as they walked into the house, they stood in the doorway watching Derek singing and dancing, they stood there for a few moments watching him, before they couldn't keep it in any longer, and they both burst out laughing, causing Derek to turn and face them.

"Hey you home, did you have fun shopping?"

"We did, dad, now can i ask you to never do that dance again"

"What dance? This one?" Derek said dancing again, Ellen groans.

"I am going to my room, well i know mom didn't fall in love with you because of your dancing," she said walking out of the room.

"Well, that is true" Mer stated, has Derek walks over to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, before kissing her.

"So, what did make you fall in love me?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Meredith smirked at him, standing on tiptoes, and wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him. "I missed you today, Der"

"I missed you too Mer, always" Derek says lifting her slightly off the floor, kissing her deeply. Meredith pulls away from him.

"So what are we having for dinner?"

"i thought i would start up the BBQ, but since you seen to have a thing for garlic bread and mushrooms lately, i am doing those for you too"

"See, now this is why i kept you around" Mer giggled.

"Oh, it that what you fell in love with my cooking skills, since you can't cook" Derek said with a smirk on his face. Meredith slaps his ass, has he releases her, before walking into their bedroom, Derek watches her.

"That and your fit ass" she calls out, Derek laughs, before going out onto the patio to start up the BBQ; Derek doesn't get a lot of time with his family, and he was looking forward to the evening ahead.


	58. Honeymoon Pt 1

**Honeymoon has arrived. Enjoy!**

They arrived in the Maldives, the day before Christmas Eve, Meredith spent most of the flight asleep, curled into Derek that was the good thing about having their own private plane, it was a lot more comfortable than standard flights. Once they landed and were taken straight to their hotel on ...

Once they were shown to their room for the next two weeks and left alone, Derek picks Meredith up, who laughs and giggles, has he deposits her on the bed, and quickly join her, running his fingers through her hair, has he kisses her deeply. Meredith runs her hand over his back, grabbing the bottom of his shirt, has she takes it off him, Derek undo her jeans, slipping them off with her underwear, has Meredith swiftly undo his jeans and do the same , so Derek is naked. Derek quickly removes her top and unhooks her bra.

"I love you Meredith Shepherd"

"And i love you Derek Shepherd" Mer murmurs has Derek quickly slips inside of her. Meredith moans at the feel of his cock inside of her, she could never get enough of this cock, has he slowly started pumping into her.

"Oh...Der" Mer moans against his mouth has he continues to kiss her hard, Meredith runs her hands through his curls as she raises her hips of the bed, causing him to go deeper inside her.

"Fuck...Mer" Derek groans has he take a nipple in his mouth sucking on it, causing Meredith to moan louder has he continues to pump into her.

"Derek...please" Mer moans loudly, she can feel herself reaching her peak, starting to shutter underneath him.

"Oh...Mer..."

"Please Derek...i need...you" Mer got out breathlessly, as she reached the height of her orgasm.

"Oh...MEREDITH"

"DEREKKKKKKKKKKKK" Mer screams has she collapsed around him.

"MEREDITHHHHHHHHH" Derek screamed has he release into her, and collapse gently on top of her not wanting to hurt her, still kissing her, until he pulls out of her, and gathers her in his arms, has they drift off to sleep.

Meredith wakes up only an hour later, Derek arm still wrapped holding her close to him, she didn't want to disturb him, Meredith managed to wiggle out of his arm, with only Der murmuring in his sleep, before climbing out of the bed. She had a shower to come out and find Derek still asleep, she pulled on her bikini before relaxing on the day bed enjoying some sunshine. She knew that he didn't get much sleep, so after an hour she decided to go and do some swimming, just off their private beach, Meredith wasn't sure how long she was out there before she felt his arms around her, pulling her close to him, she turned and face him.

"Hey"

"You left me alone in bed"

"You needed your sleep, Der"

"Well, right down the only thing i need is you" Derek said kissing her, he removed her bikini bottoms, and placed two fingers inside of her and placed pressure on her clit with his thumb.

"Derek" Mer said quietly, in to his mouth.

"That feels so...good" she says, has he starts moving her fingers inside of her, slowly at first, and then quicker, his erection teasing her, has he rubbed the head of his cock along her folds, causing Mere to moan loudly.

"Der...Please" Mr moaned loudly, her nails digging into his back.

"I want you so badly, Mer"

"OH...god, i need you" Mer called out, has Derek, slipped the tip of his hard cock into her wet, moist core, ready and waiting for him, and then slipped back out.

"What do you want me to do Mer?"

"I want you to fuck me Der, hard" Derek doesn't need telling twice, he entered her quickly and start to pounded into her, hard and fast, just how she likes it, Derek sucks on her bottom lip, before starting to nibble on her earlobe.

"Derek" Mer calls out, Derek can feel himself reaching his orgasm, but holding it off.

"Mer..."

"Oh...Derek..." Mer screams out feeling her body starting to tremble in his arms, Derek hands running up and down her back, pulling her even closer to him, so their bodies become one.

"Mer...FUCK..."

"DEREK..."

"MER...I'M CUMMING"

"DEREK" Mer screams, Derek reaches his peak at the same time, has Mer squeezes her walls around his cock, and he can't hold off any longer.

"MEREDITH..." Derek calls as he releases inside of her, they cling onto each other staying in the water, kissing, running their hand over each other bodies, has they pull themselves together, after the intensity of their orgasm.

Derek carries Meredith back into the room, and deposits her on the bed, already hard, he tells her to open her eyes, and they look at each other has he slips back inside her. They made love again, and then again finally sedated holding each other tightly has they drift off to sleep, contented in their own little bubble, finally feeling completely connected for the first time a in a few months, they are them again and there is no where else they want to be, than in each other arms.


	59. Honeymoon Pt 2

**Some more honeymoon fluff and something is revealed Enjoy!**

The two weeks they spent on their honeymoon, went by so quickly, they had spent time in the restaurant and bars, met up with other couple, Derek had booked for Mer to have a pampering day in the away spa, done some snorkelling and an overnight sailing/scuba diving trip, both Meredith and Derek relished their time alone, just the two of them, but most of the time, they spent in bed, making love.

Meredith and Derek was laying on the daybed, Derek was reading a book. While Meredith was curled into him, resting on his chest in a deep sleep, which Derek could tell by her snoring. She moans slightly in her sleep, Derek watched her, has she snuggled deeper into him, she had a small contented smile on her face.

"Liam" Mer said gently in her sleep, Derek could tell that she was dreaming about him, she had done a lot of that this past week.

_Meredith was standing on a beach, looking out over the ocean, she was happy, she was standing there in a long flowing white dress. She could feel his eyes on her, the eyes she had always wanted to feel, the eyes so much like his fathers, she turned to look at him, and held out her arm to her son, her handsome grown up son._

"_Hi mom" he said, walking into her embrace._

"_Liam, you are so grown up, your look so much like your dad"_

"_I know mom. Are you happy?"_

"_Very, i love your daddy so much"_

"_I know mom, grandpa Thatcher want to let you know how happy he was, to see you back with daddy" Meredith moves her hand to her son face, and can't help but cry._

"_Don't cry mommy" Liam said sounding so much like a little boy._

"_I am so sorry I couldn't save you, I love you so much"_

"_Mom, I wasn't meant to be with you for too long, but you need to know that you were capable of such love, for my sisters"_

"_Your sisters?"_

"_Ellen loves you so much, and so will Megan"_

"_Megan?" Meredith asks, Liam simply put his hand on her abdomen, and Meredith cover his with her hand._

"_My baby sister, she needs you and daddy, and you need to be strong mommy"_

"_I will, I promise you" Meredith says with tears in her eyes._

"_I love you mommy" Liam said with his father smile._

"_I love you too lee-lee" Mer said using his baby nickname, then she was alone, with her hand still over her abdomen, but alone._

As Derek watched her, she moved her arm that had been over him, to rest on her abdomen, she murmured in her sleep "I love you Liam", before slowly opening her eyes to see his brilliant blue looking back at her.

"Are you some freak that likes to watch people sleep" Derek laughed lightly, before leaning down and kissing her gently on the lips.

"Only you, my love" he said gently has he kissed her, Meredith opened her mouth to let his tongue gain entry, before wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. They continue to explore each other mouths; Derek rolls Meredith so that she is on top.

"I want you Derek"

"Good, cause I want you too, Mer" Derek said, removing her bikini top, and pulling the string of her bikini bottoms, until she was naked, Derek ran his hand over her shoulders, down her back before cupping her ass, pushing her, over his hard raging cock. Meredith gently lifted her hips over his cock, before gently lowering herself over his cock, until he completely filled her up. Meredith started to move her hips, causing Derek to moan...

"Mer..." Derek moans, has he grabbed her hair, pulling it back exposing her neck, and heading straight to that spot, the spot that he knows so well. Derek starts sucking on that spot, causing her to move quicker.

"Oh...god, Der" she moans loudly, has Derek starts to suck on her nipple, taking it gently in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before giving the other one the same attention, Mer hands grabs his shoulders, has he makes him go harder and deeper into her.

"Mer...Fuck..."

"Derek..." Meredith screams.

"Meredith..."

"Oh..." Mer calls out has she starts to tighten her walls around him, has he starts to spill into her and they both climax together. They rest against his other, kissing, holding on to each other has they come down, Mer gives Derek a small smile, while he is still buried inside of her.

"Derek...I think i am pregnant" she whispered in his ear. Derek pulled away from her, with a slight grin on his face.

"You're having our baby?"

"Der, i know this might sound weird but i had a dream about Liam"

"There nothing weird about that Meredith"

"Der, he came to tell me about our daughter"

"What Elle?" Derek said panicking.

"No, not Elle, our other daughter" Mer said with a smile, bringing his hand to her abdomen, where their son had touch only a few moments before.

"You mean, we..."

"We are having a little girl, Derek, he called her Megan"

"Megan Lee Shepherd, i like it"

"Lee?" Mer asked.

"You always call Liam lee-lee right?"

"Yeah"

"Well, i want to name our little girl after her big brother"

"I love you so much, Der," Mer said with tears in her eyes.

"And i love you Meredith Shepherd, and our children Ellen, Liam and Megan" Derek said with tears in his eyes.


	60. Ellen's birthday

**Enjoy!**

Meredith woke up to an empty bed; she ran her hand over her slight bump to find that she had popped overnight.

"Derek" Mer called out; Derek quickly came to the door of their bedroom.

"Look at me i am fat" Mer said has she sat herself up on the edge of bed.

"You are not fat, Meredith, you are carrying our child, you are beautiful" Derek tries to reassure her, remembering how Carole was when she was pregnant with Elle.

"I was never this big with Liam, even at 9 months"

"Mer, every pregnant woman is different with each child. I love you, and so does Elle"

"Is she up yet?" Mer asks.

"Not yet, i am doing her special breakfast"

"Can i help?"

"Mer, i love you, but no, go and have a shower, before we wake Elle up, i love you" he repeat giving her a kiss on the head before leaving her. Meredith quick had a shower, before joining Derek in the kitchen.

"Can i wake Meredith up yet?" she asked.

"You never called that Mer" Derek said to her, surprise to hear her saying her proper name.

"i know Der, but can i?" he couldn't deny her, he saw how much she wanted too, that he just nodded his head, and Mer quickly headed for Elle's bedroom, leaving Derek behind in the kitchen with his trademark smile on his face.

Meredith sits on the edge of Elle's bed, just watching her for a moment, she looked so much like Derek when she was sleeping it amazed her, Mer didn't really want to wake her up, but Elle started to stir to find Mer sat there.

"Morning mom" she said yawning.

"Happy Birthday sweetheart"

"Thanks mom"

"Dad's cooked breakfast"

"I can smell it mom. I will be out in a moment mom"

"Okay sweetheart" Mer says giving her a kiss before leaving her room.

* * *

After breakfast, Derek puts a blindfold on Elle and takes her outside the front of the house, for her birthday present, Ellen mouth opened in shock at the sight of the car, in front of her.

"Thank you Daddy" she said hugging him, than Mer. She checked the car out as Derek placed an arm around Meredith waist and pulled her close to him, placing her other hand on her stomach, which housed their unborn child.

"Daddy, can we go for a ride please?" Elle asked him.

"Sure we can, just give us a few minutes El, i believe you wanted to give Mer something," he said to her, Meredith looked up at him, with a look of surprise on her face.

"I will just go and get them dad," Elle said.

"Derek, what is going on?" Meredith asked him.

"That is Ellen to tell you" he tells her watching his daughter go back inside the house, before following her in. Meredith sits down at the table in the kitchen, while Derek makes her a cup of green tea. Derek kisses her on the head, and pulls a chair up beside her.

"You okay Mer?"

"Yeah, the baby is really kicking me today; Megan keeps giving me kidney kicks" Mer tells him wincing once again, has the baby took another kidney shot, Derek leant down to her stomach.

"Hey mag-pie, please stop kicking mommy, you are hurting her, i know you don't mean it. Daddy loves you so much and so does mommy" He said, lifting her shirt up and planting a kiss on her stomach.

"I think she likes that"

"Of course she does, it daddy" Der says has Meredith rolls her eyes at him.

"What that for?"

"Nothing, Der can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Do you what to find out for sure that we are having a girl?"

"Don't you believe our son?"

"Of course i do, but i didn't know if you want to know for sure"

"Mer, we are having a little girl, if that what Liam said"

"Thanks for not thinking i am mad"

"Mer, we will discuss this later" Derek said to her quietly, has Elle sat down at the table with an envelope.

"Mom, this is for you" she said, handing Mer the envelope.

"What is it?" she asked her.

"Just open the envelope, mom" Elle tells her, Meredith pulls out the papers and gasps with tears coming to her eyes.

"Der...Elle..." Meredith is speechless, she just looks over at Elle not able to say anything.

"I call you mom, and i spoke to daddy and asked him if i could make it official" Elle said with a smile. "That is if you want too"

"Of course i want too, Elle, i am just surprised that's all, i mean it has only been 7 months since your mom died"

"I know but this is what i want mom, so will you please adopt me"

"Of course Elle" Mer says with tears coming down her face, Mer stand and pulls Elle into a hug.

"I love you mom"

"I love you too Elle" Mer says to her, not able to stop the tears from running.


	61. The birth of Megan Lee Shepherd

**This is the last chapter, there will be an epilogue to follow. Enjoy! **

Meredith woke up at 4 am, her back was killing her, and she knew that Megan was finally coming. She was waiting for her water to break before waking Derek up, she gently climbing out of the bed, trying not to wake him up. She waddled her way out into the lounge, and went out on the balcony looking out over the beach; she sat there and watched has the sky got lighter and lighter. She felt him behind her, has he leant down and kissed her on the head, before pulling her up out of the car so she could sits on his lap, Derek wrapped his arms around her so his hand rested on top of her hand on her stomach.

"Good morning" Derek said kissing her shoulder.

"Good morning, i didn't wake you up did i?"

"No, i reach over for you, and you weren't there"

"Sorry, i couldn't sleep" she told him has she rubbed her back

"Your back still hurting" he asked, Meredith nodded. "Would you like a massage?"

"Yeah that..." her waters breaking interrupted Meredith, Derek felt his pyjama bottoms getting wet.

"Mer, you need to go and lay down, i will call Addison" Derek helps her back inside, and lays her on the bed, has the first strong contraction hit her and she grabbed Derek hand.

"Please don't be too long" Mer pleaded with him.

"I won't be" Der promised her, kissing her before running out into the kitchen and quickly dialling the Sloan's number.

"Yeah" he heard Mark say picking up the phone.

"Mark, can you put Addie on please"

"Shep, it 5 in the morning, on my day off"

"Mark, tell Addison that Mer water has broken and she is having contractions"

"Okay, i will get her up"

"DEREK" Mer screams out in pain.

"I have to go, bye" Derek quickly hangs up, and rushes back into the bedroom, and sits next to his wife, trying to soothe her, has her contraction hits her.

"Oh...Derek..."

"I am sorry baby" Derek hated seeing his wife in so much pain, Derek ran his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp, knowing that it helped to relax her.

"I had to have a c-section with Liam" she told him.

"Maybe you should have her at the hospital, Mer. Does Addie know?"

"I did tell her, she said that she would have an ambulance standing by..." Meredith stopped has another contraction hit.

"Der, where is Addie?"

"Right here, Mer, so how are we doing?"

"I am having a baby, how the hell do you think i feel" Meredith snapped at her, Derek went to say something but Addison reached out and placed her hand in his arm and shook her head.

"Derek, can you please get us some clean towels and warm water please?"

"Of course" Derek gave Mer a quick kiss on the head, before going out to the bathroom. Addison turns to Mer.

"Mer, i am going to give you an examination, and see how you are doing okay?" Mer nods, has another contraction hits, after a quick examination, Addison give her a smile. "Well, Mer, you are 9 centimetres dilated and effaced, so i would say another hour, than we should have a healthy baby"

"I hope so" Mer said with a small smile.

* * *

An hour had passed and there still hadn't been any progress, Meredith was starting to get frustrated, Addison told Derek to give her a break and go outside with Mark for a while, until Meredith calmed down, she had spent the last 20 minutes telling him to get out. Derek found Mark and Elle outside on the balcony.

"Dad, how's mom?"

"She getting frustrated Elle"

"Derek, you realise if this goes on any longer, Addison will admit her to the hospital for a c-section"

"I know Mark; i just hate to see her like this"

"I know Derek, but she will be fine" Mark says clasping a hand on his shoulder has Addison comes out.

"Derek, she asking for you" Addison told him.

"Okay" Derek says giving his daughter a hug before going back to Meredith, has he walked into their bedroom, Meredith was laid their sobbing on the bed, Derek quickly came to her side, and wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry into his shirt.

"I...am...so...sorry" she sobbed. Derek pushed her hair out of her face, and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Mer, you have nothing to be sorry for"

"I can't do anything right"

"Mer?"

"I can't even give birth to our baby naturally, and i couldn't give our son alive, i...a...failure...as a mother" Meredith sobbed even harder

"Meredith, i don't want to hear you ever saying anything like that again, you can do it" Derek said firmly. Meredith shakes her head.

"No Meredith, you are an amazing mother, Liam loved you so much, and Ellen absolutely adores you, and you are already a fantastic mother to our baby, so i never want to hear those words again, do you understand me, i love you so much Meredith Shepherd, and don't you forget it"

"I love you Derek" Derek holds her even tighter, either of them notice Addie stood in the door way, trying to give them some privacy, she gives them a few moments, before telling them that they ambulance had arrived, and that she wanted to give Meredith one more examination before taking her to the hospital.

* * *

Half an hour later, Meredith gave birth to their daughter, Addison let Derek cut the cord and hold her first, and Addison quickly snitched her up, before leaving them alone. Derek passes their daughter to Mer.

"She is so beautiful"

"Yeah, look what we did" Meredith said with a huge smile on her face.

"Hello, Megan, i am your mommy, you look so much like your big brother" Derek gave her a gently kiss on the lips. "Thank you" she murmured against his lips.

"For what?

"For giving me 3 beautiful children" she said with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, i should be thanking you; you have done all the hard work for two of our children. I love you Meredith, and i love you Megan" Derek said giving his wife and daughter a kiss. Addison comes back in to weigh and clean off Megan, while Derek helped Meredith to have a shower. Once Derek had settled Meredith back in the bed, Ellen came in.

"Mom, dad, can i come in?"

"Of course you can sweetheart, come and meet your sister" Mer said, patting the space next to her on the bed. Elle sat next to her, has she passed Megan to her.

"Hello, Megs remember me, your big sister, you are so gorgeous" Elle runs her hand over the top of the baby's head, has both Meredith and Derek watched her, placing a little kiss on Megan forehead.

"You are going to be so spoiled, i can you, I'll pass you back to daddy, i have to give mommy something" she says before passing Megan to her father.

"Mom, this came for you this morning" Elle said passing her an envelope that they didn't even notice her bringing in.

"What is it?" Meredith asked, starting to yawn.

"Open it and find out" Derek said, Meredith ripped open the envelope to pull out the papers, that were inside.

"Oh my..." Meredith said with tears running down her cheeks, looking at the official adoption papers saying that she had adopted Meredith Ellen Shepherd. Meredith pulled her daughter in a hug.

"I love you so much mom"

"I love you too Elle" Derek gave his wife and daughter a kiss, has Addison took a picture of the Shepherd family.

**THE END**


	62. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Meredith and Derek were in the limo on their way to the Emmy awards, their driver informed them that would be arriving in five minutes, giving them time, to tidy themselves up, their driver had learnt over the years to keep quiet, about his employer's activities.

"Derek, i have sex hair"

"I like it" he teased, pulling her close to him, once again running his fingers through her hair.

"Derek..." He silences her with a kiss.

"I love you"

"I love you too, now i need to fix my hair and makeup, thanks to you "

"Sorry, i couldn't help myself" Derek grinned at her.

"You can never help yourself, Derek" Mer giggled.

"Well, i can't help it if you drive me wild, Mrs Shepherd" god he loved her giggle.

"So it is my fault now"

"Yep, you shouldn't be so damn hot"

"Well, for the record Mr Shepherd, i can't help myself either, you are pretty hot yourself" Mer said kissing him before reapplying her lipstick, as the car came to a stop.

"Do you want to make a run it for it, Mer, our children will never know?"

"Of course they won't, they are not all sat at home, watching the TV, waiting for daddy to win. Now get your ass out the car, and let's get this over with". Derek stood climbed out of the limo fist, holding Mer's hand. The camera bulbs going off in Meredith face blinded her at first. This was the only thing she hated about being with Derek but she loved him that much she was willing to deal with it; it was a part of her relationship with her husband that she couldn't control. Derek placed an arm around her, holding her close.

"Well, it is a nice ass" Derek whispered in her ear, has they stood for photos, Derek hand not so subtle sliding his hand down to cup her bottom.

"Derek Shepherd, you did not just do that" she muttered to him, looking at him, Derek feigned a look of innocence, before leaning down and capturing her lips with his own, making it clear to the world, who was his only interest was. Meredith giggled when he pulled away, and they continued to walk up the red carpet, stopping for more photos and interviews before finally entering the building.

Passions was in its fifth season, and the show was nominated for five awards that night including Best Drama. The last five years had been good to them, in a variety of ways. They had two more children, twins, a boy and girl Aaron Liam and Jasmine Anne, who were all at home with Ellen, who was now 21, and a budding actress in her own right. Derek practically had a hissy fit when Elle came home at 18 and told her parents that she wanted to be an actress, Ellen didn't speak to her father for days, after that and it made the household unbearable, which at the time, Meredith did not need, not when she was six months pregnant with twins. They moved away from Los Angeles, but staying living in California, and after some discussion they sold the vineyard, Ellen has no interest in living there but they kept the beach house, for their little getaways, and Ellen often stayed there while working.

The lights went down, and the ceremony started, they were sat at the same table the some of the cast, and the crew, not that either of them really noticed, everyone who knew them were used to it, and they all swore it got worse the longer they were together. They made themselves focus on the ceremony, has they announced the nominees for Best Drama, all though the show had won, best actor, best actress, best supporting actress, and best casting for a drama series this was the one they all wanted to win.

"The nominations for best Drama Series are Brothers and Sisters, Lost, CSI, Grey's Anatomy and Passions" Hugh Laurie said on the stage.

"And the winner is ... Passions" the table erupted in cheers, Derek pulled Meredith close to him, and kissed her deeply, Meredith whispered congratulations to him, has he pulled away to go up on stage to collect the award. Back at the house, Elle, and Megan was crying with joy.

"There mommy, and daddy" Aaron and Jaz screamed excited to see their parents on the tele.

"I have to admit i didn't expect to win, Passions has been a major part of my life was the last 7 years, and this is the ultimate award, i want to thank the wonderful cast for bring my dream to life, and they all deserve this. To my children who are home watching this, i love you guys so much, and lastly my wife Meredith, who without Passions would have never exists, i love you so much baby, this is for you" Meredith could feel the tears in her eyes, and when they got back to the table, Meredith kissed him.

"I love you too"

**I would like to say thanks for all your comments and support, this is the last of my finished fics, check out A Love That has No Boundariesmy current fic or Lost Without You which again is almost finished if you want to read anymore of my fics, and my new fic All Of Your Life will be up early 2010. **


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